American Parasite (Candida nickname)

Bankercide (banker + homicide/suicide)

Brand X

Martini Shot (final film shot of day)

Pink Line (pink + red line)

BTFWWIII (Buy The Fucking World War III)

“If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball”

“We want a pitcher, not a belly-itcher”

“We want a catcher, not belly scratcher”

Guacapocalypse or Guacpocalypse (guacamole + apocalypse)

“The money is always greener in the other guy’s wallet”

“Coca Cola went to town, Pepsi Cola shot him down”

Foodieotical (foodie + periodical)

“There’s no secret about success—a successful man will tell you about it”

“He who tampers with the currency robs labor of its bread”

Badvertising (bad + advertising)

Subvertising (subvert/subversive + advertising); Subvertisement

“What are the two things you can’t eat for breakfast?” (riddle)

Vintage Media

Will Install Needless Data On Whole System 〈Microsoft “Windows” backronym〉

“The bigger the government, the smaller the citizen”

“Not all Republicans are racists, but all racists are Republicans”

“Not all Democrats are felons, but most felons are Democrats”

“As government grows, liberty decreases”

HOBO (ham on bagel omelet)

BOBO (bacon on bagel omelet)

SOBO (sausage on bagel omelet)

TOBO or TURBO (turkey on bagel omelet)

“Army Wife: Toughest job in the Army”

“If you can’t innovate, litigate”

“No one man is the movement” (“No one man can stop the movement”)

LSD (Long Slow Distance)

DFL (Dead Fucking Last)

The Louvre of Lox (Russ & Daughters nickname)

SXSW (Somebody buy Some Whataburger)

The House that Herring Built (Russ & Daughters nickname)

“Texas: Disproportionately Awesome”

Real Texas Baseball (Texas Rangers slogan)

“A vegetarian is a person who doesn’t eat anything that can have children”

Joe Voter or John Voter (Jane Voter)

Come Back Again (Continental Basketball Association or CBA nickname)

Crazy Basketball Association (Continental Basketball Association or CBA nickname)

Cajun Ketchup (Tabasco sauce nickname)

Speckenwolf Pizza (Specken Wolf Pizza)

“Nobody who ever gave his best regretted it”

“Success is that old ABC: Ability, Breaks and Courage”

“The most important ingredient in the formula of success is knowing how to get along with people”

“Fishing is a humbling sport”

Super Flagger

Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden (“golf” backronym)

Jewgle or Joogle (Jew + Google)

JewTube or JooTube (Jew + YouTube)

Bean to Bar

Drunchies (drink + munchies)

Fedian Slip (Federal Reserve + Freudian slip)

Brain Freeze

Not Caring About Athletes (NCAA backronym)

Donnoli or Danolli (donut + cannoli)

Liberty Tax (healthcare penalty to opt out)

“Waiter, I want a table for dinner!”/“Boiled or roasted, sir?”

“Cauliflower is just scared broccoli”

“Real as Colby cheese”

“And it’s gone” (money quickly lost)

Cocktail Umbrella

“When Christianity came to America, it became a business”

Flash Mobbery or Flashmobbery (flash mob + robbery)

Egotarian Cuisine

“Every passion has its destiny”

Wonderfilled (filled cookies)

“Done is better than perfect”

“Imperfect action is better than perfect inaction”

Where Texas Became Texas (Washington-on-the-Brazos slogan)

“We want bread, but we want roses, too” (Bread and Roses strike)

Proper Planning and Preparation Prevents Piss Poor Performance (7 Ps)

“Every strike brings me closer to the next home run”

“Conceive - Believe - Achieve”

“Peace Through Understanding” (1964 New York World’s Fair)

“What’s the kindest vegetable?”/“A sweet potato.”

Old World Order (old + New World Order): OWO

“Play ball!” (baseball starting call)

Hashtivist (hashtag + activist)