A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006.

Recent entries:
“How do elves eat their pancakes?"/"In short stacks.” (2/27)
Grocerant (grocery + restaurant) (2/27)
“Pancake Day really crêped up on us” (2/27)
Entry forthcoming—B.P. (2/27)
Entry forthcoming—B.P. (2/27)
More new entries...

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“Fitness is not about being better than someone else”

“A string walks into a bar…” (bar joke)

“The last line of the national anthem is often thought to be ‘Play ball!‘“

“Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? He’s awake now”

“Only a surfer knows the feeling”

Dadvertising (dad + advertising)

“What’s the difference between England and a tea bag? (soccer joke)

“A duck walks into a bar and asks, ‘Got any grapes?‘“ (bar joke)

“Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers”

“Will I be able to play the piano after the operation?” (joke)

Caviar of the South (grits)

Caviar of the South (pimento cheese)

Horseshoe Sandwich

“What do the New York Rangers and the Titanic have in common?” (hockey joke)

Iatrogenic Government

“Without love, the rich and poor live in the same house”

Reformocon (reform conservative)

Reformicon (reform conservative)

Jazz Brunch

Joe Frogger (cookie)

Great American Job Machine (Texas nickname)

“What did socialists use before candles? Electricity” (joke)

“Defense travels well”

“Don’t take any wooden nickels”

“Back to the salt mines”

“A default sans-serif font walks into a bar…” (bar joke)

“A bear walks into a bar…” (bar joke)

“A bear walks into a bar in Billings… (bar joke)

“A guy walks into a bar with his pet dog…” (bar joke)

“A dyslexic man walks into a bra” (bar joke)

“An Irishman walks out of a bar” (bar joke)

“The future is not a gift; it is an achievement”

“Show the door” (to dismiss; a forced exit)

“If you want snow, schedule a downhill race” (skiing adage)

“Why is Monday so far from Friday, but Friday so close to Monday?”

“Jews is news”

“Jews are news”

“C, E flat and G walk into a bar…” (bar joke)

“There’s no such thing as a bad audition” (performing arts adage)

“A three-legged dog walks into a bar…” (bar joke)

“If we don’t have it, you don’t need it” (store sign)

“An investment banker has good news and bad news” (joke)

“Olive who?/"Olive you!” (knock-knock joke)

“The higher you go, the better the snow” (skiing adage)

“Change is good, but dollars are better”

“Hope sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible”

“Don’t raise your voice, improve your argument”

“Victory is a political fiction”

“Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar…” (bar joke)

“The Internet is a series of tubes filled with cats”

Shitizen (shit + citizen)

“Tourists are terrorists with cameras; terrorists are tourists with guns”

“New York’s water is so hard it comes at you with a switchblade”

“Fatigue makes cowards of us all”

“Forty minutes of hell” (college basketball saying)

“Too many people do weightlifting with the wrong equipment - a knife and fork”

“If you wish to grow thinner, diminish your dinner”

“Programmer—an organism that turns coffee into software”

“Eagles don’t deliver on Sunday” (NFL football joke)

“Where’s the best place to hide a dead body?"/"Google’s second page of search results”

“Opportunity knocks only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell”

“Business conventions show how many people a company can operate without”

“I can’t work in an environment where I’m expected to do my job”

“Love people, not things; use things, not people”

“Anybody who believes that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach flunked geography”

“There are two types of pain: Pain that hurts you and pain that changes you”

“All you need is tea and warm socks” (winter saying)

“Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie”

“Three things you can’t take back: a spent arrow, a spoken word and a lost opportunity”

“Steel sharpens steel” (wrestling adage)

“In victory, you deserve champagne; in defeat, you need it”

“Imagine the audience naked” (theatre saying)

“What happens if we invest money to develop our people and they leave?”

“Day school tuition is the best form of birth control” (joke)

“The envelope, please” (awards show saying)

“Who are you wearing?” (fashion question)

“Never meet a champion for the first time in the winner’s circle”

“A magician was driving down the road. Then he turned into a driveway”

“You can’t cook with cold grease” (boxing adage)

American-in-Waiting

“There is no Catholic way to cook a hamburger”

“F/8 and be there” (photography adage)

Teabilly (tea party participant + hillbilly)

Cidery (cider winery)

Cider Bar

“My wife’s credit card was stolen…” (joke)

“If you attack the establishment long enough, they make you a member”

“Guards win games, but forwards win championships” (basketball adage)

Frog Pond (La Grenouille nickname)

Cat Pack

Fashion Victim (FV)

In-and-Out List