“Why can’t you run through a campground?” (joke)

“To live is to change, and to be perfect is to have changed often”

Teacherpreneur (teacher + entrepreneur)

“If you don’t have a competitive advantage, don’t compete”

“College Years: The only vacation a boy gets between his mother and his wife”

“The best way to have a good idea is to have lots of ideas”

“Do not regret growing old. It is a privilege denied to many”

“Did anyone laugh when you fell while skating?” (joke)

“I would rather choke on greatness than nibble on mediocrity”

“When you get a wine hangover, it’s called the grape depression”

Olive Oil Sommelier (Oleologist)

“What is the point of being alive if you don’t at least try to do something remarkable?”

Land of Entrapment (New Mexico nickname)

“So goes the schools, so goes the community”

Truthtard (truther + retard)

“Failures are finger posts on the road to achievement”

“You got stung by a bee? Why didn’t you get stung by an A?”

“If it is to be, it is up to me”

“‘I must do something’ will always solve more problems than ‘Something must be done’”

“It is wiser to choose what you say than to say what you choose”

“They don’t get big by being dumb” (hunting and fishing adage)

“What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?”/“Bison!”

“Prune roses before Presidents Day and azaleas before the Fourth of July”

“Confused people don’t buy” (marketing adage)

“Run at spaces, not faces” (tag rugby adage)

“Trust the process”

“You can’t keep a good man down”

“You can’t keep a good market down”

“Why should lawyers be buried 20 feet underground?” (lawyer joke)

“Persistent practice of postural principles promises perfection” (ballroom dancing adage)

“Who goes forth with a fifth on the Fourth may not come forth on the fifth”

“Chicken, airplane, soldier” (backstroke swimming)

“Where do eggs go on vacation?”/“New Yolk City.”

“Where do cows go on vacation?”/“Moo York.”

“1. Bel canto, 2. Can belto, 3. Can’t belto, 4. Can’t canto” (four stages of a soprano’s life)

Supreme Dorks (U.S. Supreme Court nickname)

“Self-education is the only kind of education there is”

“In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate”

“The only reason I’m fat is because a tiny body couldn’t store all this personality”

“Does running late count as exercise?”

“Revenge is served cold. Revenge is sweet. Therefore, revenge is ice cream”

“Popping a cell” (Rikers slang)

“You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great”

“Never make permanent decisions based on temporary emotions”

Cop Killa Queenz (Queens)

“Baseball is weird”

“Bilingual education makes you illiterate in two languages”

“Franklin may have discovered electricity, but the meter inventor made the money”

“The Supreme Court isn’t final because it’s supreme, it’s supreme because it’s final”

Butterfield Effect (Butterfield Fallacy; Butterfield Paradox)

Chinese Hamburger (Rou Jia Mo)