A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006. Now a Popeyes fast food restaurant on Google Maps.

Recent entries:
“Instead of ‘British Summer Time’ and ‘Greenwich Mean Time’ we should just call them ‘Oven Clock Correct Time’...” (3/28)
“Has anyone here ever drank a pint of tequila? I know it’s a long shot” (3/28)
“A pint of tequila? That’s a long shot” (3/28)
“The U.S. should add three more states. Because 53 is a prime number. Then they can truly be one nation, indivisible” (3/28)
“My love for the truth outweighs my fear of offending you” (3/28)
More new entries...

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“Parsley has pointed leaves; cilantro has curved leaves”

“A politician will find an excuse to get out of anything, except office”

“What are lawyers good for?” (lawyer joke)

“Why did God invent lawyers?” (real estate agent joke)

“Why did God invent lawyers?” (lawyer joke)

“What can a goose do, a duck can’t, and a lawyer should?” (lawyer joke)

“Descartes walks into a bar…” (bar joke)

“There’s no plate like chrome for the hollandaise” (pun)

“If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don’t you hit him?” (lawyer joke)

“How many lawyers does it take to roof a house?” (lawyer joke)

“What’s the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?” (lawyer joke)

BEC (bacon, egg and cheese)

“What did one plate say to the other?”/“Lunch is on me.”

“I said, ‘Make me a Zombie.’ The bartender said, ‘God beat me to it’”

“A golf club walks into a bar…” (bar joke)

Thurmond Rule or Biden Rule (no judicial appointments in election year)

Charley Horse (Charlie Horse)

SPK (salt, pepper, ketchup)

“What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror?”/“Halloumi!”

“What kind of cheese do you use to disguise a small horse?”/“Mascarpone.”

“Take it with a grin of salt”

“Did you hear about the jurisprudence fetishist? He got off on a technicality”

“Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar… followed by Batman” (bar joke)

“An amnesiac walks into a bar…” (bar joke)

“A goldfish walks into a bar…” (bar joke)

“A young Texan walks into a bar…” (bar joke)

“A young Texan walks into a bar…” (bar joke)

“A penguin walks into a bar…” (bar joke)

“A five-dollar bill walks into a bar…” (bar joke)

“Shakespeare walks into a bar…” (bar joke)

“A baseball walks into a bar…” (bar joke)

“A soccer ball walks into a bar…” (bar joke)

“A pig walks into a bar…” (bar joke)

“Where can I get scrod?” (joke)

“I played a great horse yesterday. It took seven horses to beat him”

Breakup Cake

Connecticut: Freestone State (nickname)

Brooklyn Boys (delirium tremens)

Brewers Row (North 11th Street, Williamsburg; Linden Street, Bushwick)

Maine: Pine Tree State (nickname)

Maine: Lumber State (nickname)

Alabama: Yellowhammer State (nickname)

Montana: Stub Toe State (nickname)

“Si Hoc Legere Scis Nimium Eruditionis Habes”

“A Canadian is an unarmed American with health insurance”

“We go together like cocaine and waffles”

“I feel sorry for short people. When it rains, they’re the last to know”

Sportsmen’s Row (Eighth Avenue, Park Slope)

“A duck walks into a bar and says, ‘Put it on my bill’” (bar joke)

“What’s the quickest way into town?” (joke)

“A man walks into a bar and asks the quickest way into town…” (bar joke)

“Why didn’t the cheese want to get sliced?”/“It had grater plans.”

“How do you handle a dangerous cheese?”/“Caerphilly.”

“Would a smoked cheese grow on a tree?”/“No, but an applewood.”

Knickerbocker City

New York State: Knickerbocker State (nickname)

“It is better to live one year as a lion than 100 years as a sheep”

“Cash is the currency of freedom”

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