A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006.

Recent entries:
“How do elves eat their pancakes?"/"In short stacks.” (2/27)
Grocerant (grocery + restaurant) (2/27)
“Pancake Day really crĂªped up on us” (2/27)
Entry forthcoming—B.P. (2/27)
Entry forthcoming—B.P. (2/27)
More new entries...

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“Why did the chef take his own life?"/"Because he lost the huile d’olive.”

“Did you hear about the Italian chef? He pasta way”

Syracuse: Sewercuse (nickname)

Minnesota: Land of 10,000 Lakes (nickname)

Poughkeepsie: Po-Town (nickname)

Rochester: Rottenchester (nickname)

Iowa: Idiots Out Wandering Around (backronym)

Iowa: I Owe the World an Apology (backronym)

Utica: Jelly Bun

Utica: Half-Moon (cookie)

Income Reduction Service (Internal Revenue Service or IRS nickname)

“Don’t be evil” (Google motto)

St. Paul Sandwich

Wisconsin: America’s Dairyland (nickname)

Minnesota: Bread and Butter State (nickname)

“Diner: Is soup on the menu?/Waiter: No, I wiped it off.”

“Play building and loan” (joke)

“Can February March?"/"No, but April May.”

“Prayers work best when you have big players”

“Thank you, craft beer, for making my alcoholism seem like a neat hobby”

Twin Cities (Minneapolis and St. Paul)

Minnesota: New England of the West (nickname)

“Ban pre-shredded cheese. Make America grate again!”

“What’s black and white and never right?"/"A hockey referee.”

“He is a big clog in their machine”

“Ban pre-shredded cheese. Make America grate again!”

“A fool and his money are soon audited”

“Can I claim the government as a dependent on my taxes?”

Binghamton, Johnson City, Endicott: Triple Cities

Utica: City that God Forgot (nickname)

“The reward for saving your money is being able to pay your taxes without borrowing”

Utica: Second Chance City (nickname)

Binghamton: Carousel Capital of the World (nickname)

Binghamton: Valley of Opportunity (nickname)

“The reward for saving your money is being able to pay your taxes without borrowing”

Minnesota: Minny (abbreviation)

“The man who butts his head against the stock market soon learns why it’s called Wall Street”

“Taxpayer: A person who resents that death and taxes don’t come in that order”

“The reason Uncle Sam has to wear such a tall hat is that he’s always passing it around”

“The reason Uncle Sam has to wear such a tall hat is that he’s always passing it around”

“Television enables you to be entertained in your home by people you wouldn’t have in your home”

Minnesota: “Land of Two Seasons: Winter Is Coming and Winter Is Here”

Minnesota: “Land of the ski and home of the crazed”

“Many are cold, but few are frozen”

“The guy who said that the truth never hurts never had to fill out a form 1040”

Minnesota: “Where the elite meet the sleet”

Murderapolis (murder + Minneapolis)

“Save your pennies and the sales tax will take care of them”

“Save your pennies and the sales tax will take care of them”

“A person who speaks good English in New York sounds like a foreigner”

Fat Apple (fat + Big Apple)

First City of the West (Minneapolis); Last City of the East (St. Paul)

“Republicans campaign like Libertarians and govern like Democrats”

“A little government involvement is just as dangerous as a lot”

“Capitalism without failure is like religion without sin. It doesn’t work”

“Collecting more taxes than is absolutely necessary is legalized robbery”

“The sun and the sand and a drink in my hand”

“He speaks English with the flawless imperfection of a New Yorker”

“What do you call a chicken staring at lettuce?"/"Chicken sees a salad.”

Colored People’s Time (CP Time or CPT)

“There is more sophistication and less sense in New York than anywhere else”

“Don’t let yesterday take up too much of today”

“Did you hear about the English teacher who went to jail?” (joke)

Trolley Series (1889 World Series, Brooklyn Bridegrooms vs. New York Giants)

City Series (Mets vs. Yankees)

Buchanan: Chernobyl on the Hudson (Indian Point Energy Center nickname)

“Who made the first soft drink?"/"Adam—he made Eve’s cherry pop.”

“What did one worm say to the other?"/"I’m moving to the Big Apple!”

“Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?"/"Because they lactose.”

“Waitress: Do you have any questions about the menu?/Diner: What kind of font is this?”

“When a man says money can do anything, that settles it: He hasn’t any”

“Why was the blonde late for work?"/"She was stranded on the broken escalator.”

“What do you call dangerous precipitation?"/"A rain of terror.”

“The problem with the French is that they don’t have a word for entrepreneur”

“There are no markets anymore, just interventions”

“Yes, but I still love you more than I love basketball” (sports joke)

“What did the salt say to the pepper?"/"Hey. what’s shaking?”

“Make the little things count. Teach midgets math”

“Short form, the government gets your money; long form, the CPA gets it”

“Two random variables were talking in a bar…” (bar joke)

“Old mathematicians never die—they just lose some of their functions”

“If you exercise, you might get a trophy. If you don’t, you might get atrophy”

“If you don’t pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed?”

“If Patrick Henry thought taxation without representation was bad…”

“Why does the bar association prohibit lawyers and clients from having sex?” (lawyer joke)

“A naked woman walks into a bar…” (bar joke)

“Incongruous: Where bills are passed”

Czexit (Czech Republic + exit)

Frexit (France/French + exit)

Swexit (Switzerland + exit)

Jewish Time

“If you can’t be an athlete, be an athletic supporter”

“How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?” (lawyer joke)

“What did the salt say to the pepper?"/"Season’s greetings.”

“Hot sauce in my bag”

“How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb?” (joke)

Idaho: Idaho (state name etymology)

“A nonrenewable natural resource walks into a bar…” (bar joke)

“Thomas Edison walks into a bar…” (bar joke)

FauxPEC (faux + OPEC)

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