A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006.

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Brooklyn Grit

“Yo mama is so dumb, she uses Old Spice for cooking”

“How do you say goodbye in Arabic?"/"BOOM!”

“Control the controllables” (business adage)

“The people have spoken—the bastards!”

Cathedral of Asphalt (Asphalt Green)

“Fight crime—shoot back”

“Why did the balloon burst?"/"Because it saw a lolly pop.”

“What did one loaf of bread say to the other?"/"Weirdo.”

“Independence Day—celebrating the country by blowing up a small part of it”

“I will start working when my coffee does”

“I carry a gun because a cop is too heavy”

“Trade him for a six pack. It doesn’t even have to be cold”

“My wife left a note on the fridge that said ‘This isn’t working‘“ (joke)

“The West wasn’t won with a registered gun”

“I will start working when my coffee does”

“It’s called ‘celery’ because ‘cold, wet plant bones’ takes too long”

Mentally Affected Teachers Harassing Students ("maths” backronym)

Mental Attack To Healthy Students ("maths” backronym)

“Drink protein shakes today because there’s no whey in hell”

“If work was so good, the rich would have kept more of it for themselves”

“Honk if you love peace and quiet” (bumper sticker)

“Yo mama is so stupid, she plays solitaire for cash”

“Who stopped payment on my reality check?”

Tiger Beat on the Potomac (Politico nickname)

“My hockey mom can beat up your soccer mom”

“What’s the most musical part of a turkey?"/"The drumstick.”

“Close enough for jazz” (music adage)

“What’s the most musical part of a turkey?"/"The drumstick.”

“A boomerang walks into a bar…” (bar joke)

“How does this restaurant prepare the chicken?” (joke)

“No cuts, no buts, no coconuts”

“Why did the biology students almost fail?"/"They were bio-D-grade-able.”

“The 24-hour Indian restaurant is a naan-stop”

Caesar Salad

Booyah (stew)

“You haven’t lived until you died in New York”

Democracy Wall (Carroll Street subway station, Carroll Gardens)

“New York is the only city where you can get deliberately run down on the sidewalk by a pedestrian”

“What do you call an Englishman in the World Cup final?"/"The referee.”

“If time is money, then an ATM is A Time Machine”

Italian Sandwich ("big sandwich” from Angelo Basso)

“What does a nosy pepper do?"/"It gets jalapeño business.”

“What’s easier to pick up the heavier it gets?"/"Women.”

“Life without geometry is pointless”

“I want anarchy. Because my keyboard is missing one”

“He’s 20. In 10 years, he’ll have a chance to be 30” (a bad young player)

“A bishop walks straight into a bar…” (bar joke)

“What do you use to buy bar drinks?"/"Bar tender.”

“What newspaper do cows read?"/"The Daily Moos.”

“What newspaper do cows read?"/"The Moo York Times.”

“How is credit like cocaine?"/"Everyone needs just one more line.”

“What’s the last thing that goes through a fly’s mind when it hits a windshield?” (riddle)

“I met my ex-wife at the gym. We didn’t work out”

“Is your refrigerator running?” (joke)

“A man walks into a bar with a gun…” (bar joke)

Ex-Lax Fish (escolar nickname)

Rome: Copper City (nickname)

“Someone keeps adding soil to my allotment The plot thickens…”

Hoop-and-the-Harm (a basket and a foul shot)

“A man with authority walks into a bar…” (bar joke)

“Curls for the girls” (weightlifting saying)

“Train insane or remain the same”

“Of course it’s heavy, that’s why they call it weight”

“I do resistance training every day. It’s called refusing to go to the gym”

“What did the bacon say to the sandwich?"/"See you in the club!”

“Benches for the wenches” (weightlifting saying)

“Glutes for the sloots” (weightlifting saying)

“Squats for the thots” (weightlifting saying)

“Cuts for the sluts” (weightlifting saying)

“Rows for the hoes” (weightlifting saying)

“Quads for the broads” (weightlifting saying)

“Squats for the twats’ (weightlifting saying)

“Squats for the hots” (weightlifting saying)

“Tris for the guys” (weightlifting saying)

“Bis for the guys” (weightlifting saying)

“What did one device say to the other?"/"Are you syncing what I"m syncing?”

“Jesus holds up the bread…” (joke)

“I could see every ketchup bottle in the restaurant. Heinz sight is 20/20”

“How come if ants are always so busy they always get time to show up at picnics?”

“I drink while I work out. I call it Bacardio” (Bacardi + cardio)

“I drink while I work out. I call it Bacardio” (Bacardi + cardio)

“This is why we can’t have nice things”

“What’s better than roses on your piano?"/"Tulips on your organ.”

“Traps for the chaps” (weightlifting saying)

“Lats for the brats” (weightlifting saying)

“Planks for the skanks” (weightlifting saying)

“Calves for the chavs” (weightlifting sayng)

“Flies for the guys” (weightlifting saying)

“No pecs, no sex” (weightlifting saying)

“A chicken walks into a bar…” (bar joke)

“Education is important, but [X] is importanter”

“Education is important, but big biceps are importanter”

“Eat here or we will both starve” (restaurant sign)

“If pro is the opposite of con, then the opposite of the Constitution is prostitution”

“I was going to join the debating team, but somebody talked me out of it”

“I’ve failed math so many times I can’t even count”

“I’m selling my theremin… I haven’t touched it in years”

Parasitocracy (parasite + -cracy)

Bloody Caesar (cocktail)

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