Parasitocracy (parasite + -cracy)

Bloody Caesar (cocktail)

Apple Jack Downing (cocktail)

America’s Most Interesting City (New Orleans nickname)

Northernmost Caribbean City (New Orleans nickname)

“What’s a suicide bomber’s worst fear?”/“Dying alone.”

Hokey Pokey (ice cream)

“We don’t care how you did it up North”

“I build yachts in my attic. Sails are going through the roof”

Hollywood South (New Orleans nickname)

“The August place to be” (Saratoga Race Course)

“I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence”

Saratoga: “The August place to be” (Saratoga Race Course)

Saratoga: Graveyard of Champions or Graveyard of Favorites (Saratoga Race Course)

“Soccer is a kick in the grass”

“Don’t follow me. I’m lost, too!” (bumper sticker)

“Journalists do it daily”

“I love my country…but I think we should start seeing other people”

“Historic preservationists make it last longer” (bumper sticker)

“A classroom is not a restaurant” (joke)

“A taxi is not a restaurant” (joke)

“The potato farmer who crossed the mob is sleeping with the knishes”

“What’s the best machine to impress women at the gym?”/“The ATM.”

“This is not a restaurant” (joke)

“I saw a sign that said ‘falling rocks.’ I tried. It doesn’t”

“Yo girl, are you a zero APR loan?” (joke)

“When is the best time for a dental appointment?”/“Tooth-hurty (2:30).”

“When accountants go insane, do they start to hear invoices?

“If earth is the third planet from the sun, then isn’t every country a third world country?”

“If sex is great exercise, then why are there still fat sluts?”

Wunch of Bankers

“What is a cannibal?”/“Someone who is fed up with people.”

“Why don’t orphans play baseball?”/“They don’t know where home is.”

“What do you call a day old pastry?”/“Yesterdanish.”

Moneyvangelist (money + evangelist)

“What’s the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?” (joke)

Ameritude (America + attitude)

“How many protesters does it take to change a light bulb?” (joke)

“What did the boy scout say when he fixed the car horn?”/“Beep repaired.”

“Where do cows go for entertainment?”/“To the moo-vies.”

“What’s the result of tossing a live grenade into a French kitchen?” (joke)

“Why do Baptists forbid kissing standing up?”/“It might lead to dancing.”

“Don’t smoke, drink or chew, or run with boys who do”

“How many hamburgers can you eat on an empty stomach?” (riddle)

“What do you call a pious pepper?”/“A holy peño.”

“A subatomic particle refused to pay bus fare. It just lepton”

“My doctor said to stay away from trans fats, so I left tumblr”

“If smoking is so bad for you, how come it cures salmon?”

“The scrawny personal trainer had to give a too weak notice”

“My doctor said to stay away from trans fats, so I left tumblr”

“Blast from the past”

“Oldie but goodie”

Pittsburgh Salad (with french fries)

“Wake me up when Kirby dies” (theatre saying)

Coachella East (Panorama Music Festival nickname)

“Golden oldie”

“The team, the team, the team”

“Erotica is what I like. Porn is what you like”

“‘Does this uniform make me look fat?’—the insecurity guard”

“Can we eliminate clickbait journalism? The answer may surprise you”

“The man who gives in when he’s right is married”

“The first automobile race occurred right after the second car was built”