A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006.

Recent entries:
“What did the bunny say when he had only thistles to eat?"/"Thistle have to do!” (8/18)
“What did the bunny say when he had only thistles to eat?"/"Thistle have to do!” (8/18)
“Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life” (8/18)
“If you do pass the McKinley bill, we shall have to come over to your country and thrash you” (8/18)
“There are so many scams on the internet. But for $19.99 I can show you how to avoid them” (8/18)
More new entries...

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“Be a pineapple: Stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside”

“Keep cake moist by eating it all in one sitting”

“Waffles are just pancakes with abs”

“In pizza we crust”

“What’s the hardest part of making a vegan pizza?"/"Skinning the vegan.”

“It it jiggles, it’s fat”

“Pizza is the only love triangle I ever want”

“Rice cakes have no right calling themselves ‘cake’ at all”

“Finally, my winter fat is gone. Now I have spring rolls”

“Exercise…eggs are sides…for bacon”

“Pandas are living proof that you can be fat just by eating salad”

“Rice cakes really satisfy my cravings for styrofoam”

“Exercise…eggs are sides…for bacon”

“Exercise? I thought you said extra fries”

“Finally, my winter fat is gone. Now I have spring rolls”

“Eat like no one is watching. Or dance. Whatever”

“Give up carbs? Over my bread body”

“The difference between coffee and your opinion is I asked for coffee”

“I just don’t want to look back and think, ‘I could’ve eaten that‘“

“Why was Cinderella thrown off the baseball team?"/"Because she ran away from the ball.”

“I’m sorry for what I said when I was hungry”

“Promises and pie crust are made to be broken”

“What’s a pirate’s least favorite letter?” (computer piracy joke)

“Two clowns are eating a cannibal” (joke)

“I followed my heart and it led me to the fridge”

“There’s no life without water. Without water, there’s no coffee. Without coffee, I’ll kill you all”

“Why don’t blind people go skydiving?"/"Because it scares the hell out of their dogs.”

“Pros and cons of making food: Pros=food Cons=making”

“There is no life without water because water is needed to make coffee”

“A horse walks into a bar…” (bar anti-joke)

“A black man, a Jew, and an Asian walk into a bar…” (bar joke)

“What’s the difference between USA and USB?” (joke)

“If you see a rabbit laying little brown eggs, don’t eat them. It’s not chocolate”

“How much space do fungi need to grow?"/"As mushroom as possible.”

“Why did the cannibal leave the restaurant?"/"Because he got cold feet”

“What if algebra teachers are really pirates and they are using us to find ‘X’?”

“Of course women don’t work as hard as men. They get it right the first time”

“Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk”

“What’s the best way to eat a hot dog?"/"With relish.”

“I don’t need Google. My boyfriend knows everything!”

Candy Cane Lane

“A joke walks into a bar…” (bar joke)

Midnight Regulation

“What four days start with the letter ‘T’?” (riddle)

“You know what rhymes with Friday? Alcohol”

“A pub is for life, not just for Christmas”

“My job is so top secret even I don’t know what I’m doing”

“What do you catch if you go fishing with gummy worms?"/"Swedish Fish.”

“What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast?"/"Synonym rolls.”

“I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road…”

“A good man can make you feel sexy…oh sorry, that’s wine. Wine does that”

“I love my boss (I’m self-employed)”

Marxette (female Marxist)

“Men at 20 play football, at 30 play tennis, at 40 play golf…” (joke)

“Dieting is easy. It’s like riding a bike. And the bike is on fire…”

“Why wouldn’t the Statue of Liberty work in France?"/"Because she has only one arm raised.”

“Why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant?"/"He had a big bill.”

“If time heals all wounds, what happens when you get hit in the head with a clock?”

“Jingle bells, Batman smells”

“Philosophy majors ask why you want fries with that”

“Irish stew…in the name of the law” (knock-knock joke)

“I wish I was rich” (genie joke)

“Christmas is the season when you buy this year’s gifts with next year’s money”

“Three phrases that sum up Christmas: Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men, and Batteries Not Included”

“This year I plan to start putting off my Christmas shopping extra early”

PEOTUS (President-Elect Of The United States)

“Why are Dasher and Dancer always taking coffee breaks?"/"Because they’re Santa’s star bucks.”

“A waffle is just a more considerate pancake”

“What’s a chef’s weapon of choice?"/"A salt rifle.”

“Toast is just soft bread that has been hurt before”

“Cereal is breakfast soup”

“Why does Christmas always come just when the stores are so crowded?”

“The federal government is an aircraft carrier, not a speedboat”

“Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them for Christmas”

“This Christmas, I’d like a fat bank account and a slim body”

“Why do so many math majors confuse Halloween and Christmas?"/"Because OCT 31 = DEC 25.”

“What kind of music do wind turbines like?"/"They’re big metal fans.”

“When someone asks where is your Christmas spirit, point to the liquor cabinet”

“A new study finds that sausages are often linked to other sausages”

“I’m trying to get into the Christmas spirit, but the damn bottle won’t open!”

“Why is it so hard to recognize a pilot?"/"They always travel in disguise.”

“Pavlov walks into a bar…” (bar joke)

“Some fairy tales begin, ‘If i’m elected‘“

“There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works”

“What’s the best present for a musician?"/"A broken drum. You can’t beat it.”

“Nothing says holidays, like a cheese log”

“What I like about Christmas is that you can make people forget the past with the present”

Department of Homeland Sabotage (Department of Homeland Security or DHS nickname)

“A Christmas shopper’s complaint is one of long-standing”

“What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day”

Department of Homeland Surveillance (Department of Homeland Security or DHS nickname)

“Snowflakes are kisses from heaven”

“To brie or not to brie” (cheese pun)

Winterval (winter + festival)

Winterval (winter+ festival)

“A clear rejection is always better than a fake promise”

“They say never go food shopping when you’re hungry, but it’s been over a week”

“If kisses were snowflakes, I’d send you a blizzard”

“A man’s life: He believes in Santa Claus, he doesn’t believe in Santa Claus, he is Santa Claus”

“About all you can do is dream of a white Christmas; it leaves most of us in the red”

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