“*trips over crack in sidewalk* [under breath] parkour”
Not every experience in an urban environment can be credited as "parkour." This joke was posted on X/Twitter by 🤷🏼‍♂️ on Febuay 1, 2018: *trips over crack in sidewalk* [under…
Archive for /P3100
“Diplomacy—The art of keeping them talking until your snipers are in range”
"Diplomacy -- The art of keeping the enemy talking until your archers are in range" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Diplomacy: The art of saying, 'Nice…
“Diplomacy—The art of saying, ‘nice doggy’ until your sniper gets the range”
"Diplomacy -- The art of keeping the enemy talking until your archers are in range" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Diplomacy: The art of saying, 'Nice…
“Yelling ‘the floor is java’ in a Starbucks does not get you served any quicker”
"The floor is lava" is a game. "The floor is java" is a coffee pun. "The floor is java" is also a Java programming language joke. "I want to play the floor is…
“I just quit belly dancing. I no longer have the stomach for it”
To "not have the stomach for (something)" means to lack the courage, determination, or resolve to do it. The idiom usually doesn't involve the stomach, but there are belly dancing…
“I tried watching some belly dancing today, but I just don’t have the stomach for it”
To "not have the stomach for (something)" means to lack the courage, determination, or resolve to do it. The idiom usually doesn't involve the stomach, but there are belly dancing…
“I was asked if I would try belly dancing. I just don’t think I have the stomach for it”
To "not have the stomach for (something)" means to lack the courage, determination, or resolve to do it. The idiom usually doesn't involve the stomach, but there are belly dancing…
“The most important thing I’ve learned in life, and I can’t stress this enough: you gotta make a salad in a bigger bowl than you think”
A common food tip is to get bigger bowls for making a salad. "CHEFS TIP: Mixing Bowls -- Work in a bigger bowl than you think you need. Ever seen someone try to make tuna salad for four in a…
“I said ‘THE FLOOR IS JAVA’ when I dropped my coffee and I got a high five from 5 other dads”
"The floor is lava" is a game. "The floor is java" is a coffee pun. "The floor is java" is also a Java programming language joke. "I want to play the floor is…
“What do web developers’ children play?”/“The floor is Java!”
"The floor is lava" is a game. "The floor is java" is a coffee pun. "The floor is java" is also a Java programming language joke. "I want to play the floor is…
“The only blizzard conditions I am interested in are from Dairy Queen”
"The only blizzard conditions I am interested in are from Dairy Queen" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Dairy Queen is an American multinational fast food chain,…
“Did 900 crunches today. It was a bag of Cheetos, but still”
A "crunch" is an abdominal exercise. A joke has it that a person was doing "crunches" -- not exercising, but eating Cheetos crunches. "Didn't do any crunches today so…
“Why aren’t dogs allowed in bars?”/“Because they can’t hold their licker.”
"Liquor" shouldn't be confused with "licker," but there are jokes. "Q. Why don't they allow dogs in bars? A. Because most of them can't hold their licker!…
“Why aren’t dogs allowed in bars?”/“Because they cant control their licker.”
"Liquor" shouldn't be confused with "licker," but there are jokes. "Q. Why don't they allow dogs in bars? A. Because most of them can't hold their licker!…
“Why aren’t dogs allowed in pubs?”/“Because they can’t control their licker.”
"Liquor" shouldn't be confused with "licker," but there are jokes. "Q. Why don't they allow dogs in bars? A. Because most of them can't hold their licker!…
“Against all authority… except my mom”
"Against all authority... except my mom" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The speaker is anti-government, but pro-family. The Spanish "Contra toda autoridad...…
“Contra toda autoridad… excepto mi mamá”
"Against all authority... except my mom" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The speaker is anti-government, but pro-family. The Spanish "Contra toda autoridad...…
“Property tax is serfdom”
"Property tax is serfdom" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying means that if you have to pay tax on your property (such as your home), then you do not really own…
“You’re a property tax-paying serf and don’t you forget it”
"Property tax is serfdom" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying means that if you have to pay tax on your property (such as your home), then you do not really own…
“If you see me at the gym sitting on the stationary bike, mind your business. I’m going downhill”
Entry in progress -- BP X/Twitter Michael P Spradlin @MSpradlinAuthor I don't understand why everyone at my gym asks me why I'm just sitting still on the stationary bike. Can't they…