The joke about the “golden rat” has been told since at least 1994. The punchline usually involves a lawyer, but some versions substitute “liberal” or “Republican.”
Google Groups: alt.tasteless,jokes
The Golden Rat *joke of the year*
The Golden Rat
A man walks into a bar and orders a drink. While he drinks, he notices a wonderful golden statue of a rat. He insists that he must have it and asks the bartender how much it would cost him. The bartender replies, “Seventy bucks for the Golden Rat, and thirty dollars for the story behind it.” The man wants the rat, but is not interested in the story. He purchases the rat and leaves the bar. As soon as he steps outside, rats come from everywhere towards him. He gets in to his car and drives down the street. Rats everywhere! They seem to be coming out of the woodwork. The man looks in his rearview mirror and sees millions of rats following his car. He comes to a bridge and throws the Golden Rat out of his car into the river below the bridge. The rats follow the statue, plunging over the bridge to their death. The man decides to go back to the bar. The bartender sees the man walk in, smiles, and says “I bet you wanna give me that thirty bucks to hear the story behind the Golden Rat, don’t ya ??” “No,” responds the man, “I was just wondering if you have a Golden Nigger.”
Google Groups: rec.humor
joke of the week
|> CHRISTOPHER SILKO () wrote:
|> : This was sent to me from psu. It really got around.
|> : THE GOLDEN RAT
|> : **************
|> Joke deleted because of offending bigotry.
|> I was not amused. It really should have ended with this line:
|> The man goes back to the bar and the bartender asks “Do you want the story
|> behind the the Golden Rat now?” “No” the man says, “But do you have a golden
|> Enough said.
It works OK with a “golden lawyer” for the punchline also.
Tue May-18-04 07:31 AM
Joke told at a meeting last night-- The Golden Rat
Man walks into a store, sees a golden rat, thinks it’s cool. The tag says $12. “Is this really $12?” he asks the owner.
“Yes, $12 for the statue, but $500 for the story.”
The man sees the sales ploy, ignores it, and says “No story, I just want the rat.” So he buys it and leaves the store.
Soon, he hears noises behind him, and he turns around to see a rat following him. Soon, more rats begin following him. He speeds up, so do the rats. More rats come out of the drains, the sewers, the allies, and from everywhere.
The man freaks out and starts to run. Every rat in town is behind him. He runs as fast as he can until he reaches the shoreline, runs out on a pier, and hurls the Golden Rat as far out to see as he can. Every rat in town follows the statue out to see and drowns.
So he goes back to the store. The owner smiles at him and nods knowingly. “Ah, now you want the story, don’t you?”
“No,” the man replies. “I want a Golden Republican.”
Thursday, January 13, 2005
Update: Joke Contest prompts flood of entries
The customers have come through in fine form for the Mattsapundit Lawyer Joke Contest.
Brian Reichardt assures me that this is the “Best Lawyer Joke Ever:”
A guy browsing through an antique store comes across a golden rat. Intrigued, he decides to buy it. As he’s paying the shop owner for the rat, the shop owner asks, “Do you want the instructions?” The man replies, “It’s a golden rat. What do I need instructions for?” The shop keeper answers, “You’ll see.” And the man goes on his way. Getting into his car, the man puts the rat on the seat next to him and drives away. After he has driven for a couple of blocks he looks into his rear view mirror and sees thousands of rats running down the street following the car. Rats are streaming out of back alleys and dumpsters as he passes. Suddenly the man has an idea. He drives to the nearest bridge, pulls his car over and throws the golden rat into the river. All the rats follow the golden rat over the side into the river and drown. The man jumps back into his car and speeds back to the antique shop. When he walks back inside the owner smiles and says, “I see you came back for the instructions.” “No,” the man replies, “I came back to see if you had a golden lawyer.”
Right Wing Extreme
MONDAY, JULY 27, 2009
Joke of the Week
A man walks into an antique store looking for something for his wife. After browsing the shelves for a bit, he asks the shopkeeper for some advice. The shopkeeper says to the man, “I have this rare and unique gift your wife might like.” The man asks what it is, and the shopkeeper pulls out a golden rat statue. The shopkeeper shows it to the man and says, “This costs ten dollars, but the story behind it will cost you one hundred.” The man declines the story, but purchases the golden rat. He is walking down the street he notices that some rats are following him. He continues on his way, but notices that more rats are starting to following him. The man notices that rats are pouring out of everywhere and following him. He starts to run, but by now thousands of rats are chasing him. The man starts to get really frightened and runs towards the lake. He runs to the end of the pier and tosses the statue into the drink. All of the rats jump into the water and soon drown. The shopkeeper looks up and notices the man has returned. “Ah!” he says, “You have returned for the story.” “Hell no!” the man says, “I came back to see if you have a golden statue of a liberal.”
The Story of the Golden Rat
Published on Oct 16, 2012
How an old joke explains the Israeli-Palestinian peace process
08/21/2013 10:32 By JOSEPH RASKAS
Mr. Kerry appears to be more interested in concluding the bitter Arab-Israeli conflict than paying attention to the actual story.
The recent effort by US Secretary of State John Kerry to restart the moribund ‘peace process’ between Israel and the Palestinians is best illustrated by the old joke about the tourist who walks into a back-alley antique shop. Rifling through the objects on display, he discovers an intricate gold statue of a rat. The statue is so alluring that he grabs it and asks the owner for the price. “Ten dollars for the rat,” says the owner, and an extra hundred dollars for the story behind it.” “Sorry, at that price, you can keep the story,” the tourist replies, “but I’ll take the gold rat.” ...