A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006.

Recent entries:
“Instant Human—Just add coffee” (9/16)
“Death before decaf” (9/16)
“Shuck me, suck me, eat me raw” (oyster saying) (9/15)
“This isn’t an office—it’s hell with fluorescent lighting” (9/15)
Nascrack (NASDAQ + crack cocaine) (9/15)
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Entry from September 16, 2014
“Instant Human—Just add coffee”

"Instant Human—Just add coffee” is a jocular line that has been printed on many gift items, such as T-shirts, coffee mugs and posters. “Instant human: just add coffee” has been cited in print since at least 1994.


Google Groups: alt.good.news
random atcs of kindness
Albert Ingman
6/21/94
(...)
Instant human: just add coffee.

23 February 1995, Garden City (KS) Telegram, “At Random” by Dolores Hope, pg. 4, col. 1:
T-shirt messaged beingworn around town include “Innocent by Reason of Celebrity,” “Instant Human—Just Add Coffee,” and “Recovering Democrat.”

Google Groups: rec.humor
Call for One-Liners
Joseph Douglas McLain
8/16/95
Imagine the silence if everyone said only what they know.
Improved:  Didn’t work the first time.
In a fight between emotion versus logic emotion always wins.
Insert disk 5 of 4 and press any key to continue.
Insomnia isn’t anything to lose sleep over.
Install failed.  Attempting to transfer virus to c:\
Instant human; just add coffee.

Google Books
More Modems for Dummies
By Tina Rathbone
Foster City, CA: IDG Books
1996
Pg. 75:
Instant human: Just add coffee.

Google Books
Is Greenland Really Green?
By Laurence A. Moore
New York, NY: Avon Books
1996
Pg. 158:
The modern Monday-morning instruction is: “Instant human: just add coffee.

Google Books
Betrayal in Blood:
The Murder of Tabatha Bryant

By Michael Benson
New York, NY: Pinnacle Books
2006
Pg. 35:
“Tab sent me a T-shirt that said, ‘Instant human, just add coffee.’”

Google Books
I Knew You’d Be Lovely
By Alethea Black
New York, NY: Broadway Paperbacks
2011
Pg. 216:
There’s a magnet on the fridge that says: INSTANT HUMAN. JUST ADD COFFEE.

Google Books
Alabama Skye
By J.C. Wing
Xlibris LLC (Xlibris.com)
2014
Pg. 50:
He wore colorful t-shirts with comical sayings on them such as ‘If it weren’t for physics and law enforcement I’d be unstoppable’, ‘Trust me, I’m aJedi’, and Greer’s personal favorite, ‘Instant human,just add coffee’.

Posted by Barry Popik
New York CityFood/Drink • Tuesday, September 16, 2014 • Permalink


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