A popular food joke has a man tell a waitress that he wants a “quickie.” She slaps him. Another diner tells the man, “I think that’s pronounced ‘quiche.’”
 
The joke has been cited in print since at least 1996-97. In some versions, the man ordering the “quickie” is Bill Clinton or George W. Bush.
 
   
Google Groups: rec.games.frp.misc
Good guys and Bad guy
Terry Austin
11/16/96
(...)
Have you ever been in a restaraunt with a really good looking woman who thought “quiche” was pronounced the same as “quickie?”
     
A Prairie Home Companion with Garrison Keillor
Jokes
Saturday, April 5, 1997
(...)
TR: So—- a man goes into a restaurant. The waitress comes over and he says, “I’d like a quickie.” And she slaps him. (SLAP)
SS: Just order, will you, mister?
TR: Yeah, but I want a quickie! (SLAP)
SS: Last chance, mister. What do you want?
TK: Excuse me, sir, but I think that’s pronounced ‘quiche.’
 
Google Groups: alt.restaurants
Quiche
Me, Myself. and I
5/7/97
This guy goes into a restaurant and looks over the menu.  After a few minutes, the waitress comes to the table and asks the guy what he’d like.  The guy says, “I’d like a quickie”.  The waitress flushes and says, “That’s not funny, sir.  Now, what would you like to order?” The guy says, “I’d really like a quickie”.  The waitress slaps him hard and storms off angrily.
 
Another customer, overhearing the conversation, leans over and says to the guy, “Um, I think that it’s pronounced ‘quiche’!”
 
(I hate to clutter things with off topic posts, but I really couldn’t
pass this up!!)    =)
 
Google Groups: alt.atlanta
A Quickie?
Note This
1/15/99
Bill Clinton and Al Gore go into a local diner for lunch. As they read the menu the waitress comes over and asks Clinton, “You ready to order?”
 
Clinton replies, “Yes, I’d like a quickie.”
 
“A quickie?!” the waitress replies. “Sir, given the current situation of your personal life I don’t think that is a good idea. I’ll come back when you are ready to order from the menu.” She walks away.

Gore leans over to Clinton and says, “It’s pronounced Quiche.”
 
Google Groups: alt.true-crime
Bush Joke
Maggie
12/13/00
Let no one say I let partisanship stand in the way of humor: Bush wins the election. He and Cheney are having lunch at a dinner near the White House. Cheney orders the “Heart-Healthy” salad. Bush leans over to the waitress and says “Honey, could I have a quickie?” She’s horrified!
 
She says, “Mr. President, I thought your administration would bring a new era of moral rectitude to the White House.  Now I see I was wrong and I’m sorry I voted for you,” and she marches off.
 
Cheney leans over and says “George, I think it’s pronounced ‘QUICHE.
 
Twitter
Niall O’Keeffe
‏@NiallOK
@rickoshea Dunno why that reminds me of a Brendan Grace joke- asks a waitress for a “quickie”...*slap*... “oh wait, it’s pronounced quiche”
2:42 PM - 16 Sep 2009
 
Twitter
GeorgeCritchley
‏@GeorgeCritchley
@justinmoorhouse man in restaurant asks waitress for a quickie,she runs off crying 2the manager who says to him: ‘its pronounced quiche,sir’
10:31 AM - 7 Nov 2009
 
The Telegraph (UK)
The 40 funniest tweets of 2013
The very best gags, puns, witticisms, quips, wisecracks and thigh-slappers seen on Twitter in 2013
By James Manning
2:13PM GMT 30 Dec 2013
(...)
JC @JCautomatic
Wife: Do you fancy coming home at lunchtime for a quickie.
Me: It’s pronounced Quiche.
3:46 AM - 14 Oct 2013