“If God wanted us to bend over, He’d have put diamonds on the floor”

A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006. Now a Popeyes fast food restaurant on Google Maps.

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Above, Big Apple Corner at 54th Street and Broadway in Manhattan. Google Maps. Stolen and missing, 2021-2024.

Above, John J. Fitz Gerald, from the Aug. 15, 1931, Binghamton (NY) Press, pg. 14.

Listen to Robert Emmerich introduce "The Big Apple," a hit song from 1937. Music written by Bob and performed by Tommy Dorsey's Clambake Seven with Bob on piano. Lyrics written by Buddy Bernier and sung by Edythe Wright. Audio provided by Dorothy Emmerich.

Also listen to a 1937 "The Big Apple" song by Ozzie Nelson and his Orchestra. See a 1929 photo of John J. Fitz Gerald and a 1931 photo of John J. Fitz Gerald.

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Entry from March 10, 2016

“If God wanted us to bend over, He’d have put diamonds on the floor”

Brooklyn-born comedian Joan Rivers (1933-2014)—no fan of exercise—said in 1988:

“I don’t work out. If God wanted us to bend over, He’d put diamonds on the floor.”

The one-line saying became one of her most popular jokes.

Wikipedia: Joan Rivers
Joan Alexandra Molinsky (June 8, 1933 – September 4, 2014), better known as Joan Rivers, was an American actress, comedian, writer, producer, and television host noted for her often controversial comedic persona—where she was alternately self-deprecating or sharply acerbic, especially toward celebrities and politicians.

10 July 1988, Chicago (IL) Tribune, magazine, pg. 4, col. 1:
“I don’t work out. If God wanted us to bend over, He’d put diamonds on the floor.”
Joan Rivers

22 September 1988, Aberdeen (SD) American News, Out & About sec., pg. 8D, col. 3:
JOAN RIVERS: “I don’t work out. If God wanted us to bend over, He’d put diamonds on the floor.”

5 November 1988, Screen International, “In Confidence” by Peter Noble, pg. 6, col. 4:
QUOTES TO CHERISH: “Unlike Jane Fonda, I don’t work out or do any exercise…If God wanted us to bend over he’d have put diamonds on the floor”: JOAN RIVERS

Google Books
Eat These Words:
A Delicious Collection of Fat-Free Food for Thought
By Michael Cader and Debby Roth
New York, NY: HarperCollins Publishers
1991
Pg. 51:
I’m Jewish. I don’t work out. If God wanted us to bend over he’d put diamonds on the floor.
JOAN RIVERS

Google Books
The Mammoth Book of Comic Quotes
By Geoff Tibballs
London: Constable & Robinson Ltd
2004
If God had wanted us to bend over, he’d have put diamonds on the floor.
JOAN RIVERS

The Telegraph (UK)
Joan Rivers: her best one-liners
After the death of Joan Rivers, we look at her funniest one-liners
By Helena Kealey
8:45PM BST 04 Sep 2014
(...)
“I don’t exercise. If God wanted us to bend over, he’d put diamonds on the floor”

Twitter
Jewish Comedians
‏@JewishComedians
Joan Rivers: I’m Jewish. I don’t work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor. | #Quotes
4:23 PM - 9 Mar 2016

Posted by Barry Popik
New York City • Exercise/Running/Health Clubs • Thursday, March 10, 2016 • Permalink

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