“Old soldiers never die—they just fade away” is an old saying that was popularized by General Douglas MacArthur (1880-1964) in his farewell address to Congress on April 19, 1951. Many parodies of the saying have been made.
“Old cooks never die, they just get deranged” is a variation about cooks that has been cited in print since at least 1991.
19 December 1964, Wassau (WI) Daily Record-Herald, “Walkin’ & Talkin’,” pg. 14, col. 2:
Or, as Dunkin’ Hinds says, “Old cooks never die; they just fry away.”
Google Groups: rec.humor
Old blondes never fade, they just dye away.
Mark Israel
1/15/91
(...)
Old cooks never die, they just get deranged.
Google Groups: rec.humor
Interim Canonical List of Old * Never Die, they just ...
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1/11/93
(...)
OLD COOKS never die, they just get deranged
13 November 2002, Sault Star (Sault Ste. Marie, ON), Fred Loader column, pg. B5:
On a T-Shirt: “Old cooks never die, they’re just de-ranged.”
Google Books
Stop Me If You’ve Heard It!:
Soupy Sales Favorite Jokes
By Soupy Sales
Lanham, MD: The Rowman & Littlefield Publishing Group, Inc.
2003
Pg. 109:
Old cooks never die, they just get deranged.
Google Books
Have You Heard the One About…
By Lucy Blackman
Lincoln, NE: iUniverse, Inc.
2005
Pg. ?:
Old cooks never die, they just get deranged.
2 April 2009, Taos (NM) News, “Overheard and Unconfirmed” by Rick Romancito, pg. TE41:
Old cooks never die, they just get de-ranged.
Twitter
Jean-Bob Alister
@jbalister
Old cooks never die, they just get deranged.
#squarespace
8:29 AM - 15 Jun 2009
Twitter
Puns of Jokes
@punsofjokes
Old cooks never die, they just get deranged. #funnystuff #funnystuff
3:16 PM - 18 Mar 2017
Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006. Now a Popeyes fast food restaurant on Google Maps.
Recent entries:
•“Pleae lower the cost of living. I’m not built for OnlyFans” (4/19)
•“Please lower the gas prices. I’m not built for OnlyFans” (4/19)
•“Imagine having your own apartment and nobody ever comes over” (4/19)
•Entry in progress—BP18 (4/19)
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Above, Big Apple Corner at 54th Street and Broadway in Manhattan. Google Maps. Stolen and missing, 2021-2024.
Above, John J. Fitz Gerald, from the Aug. 15, 1931, Binghamton (NY) Press, pg. 14.
Listen to Robert Emmerich introduce "The Big Apple," a hit song from 1937. Music written by Bob and performed by Tommy Dorsey's Clambake Seven with Bob on piano. Lyrics written by Buddy Bernier and sung by Edythe Wright. Audio provided by Dorothy Emmerich.
Also listen to a 1937 "The Big Apple" song by Ozzie Nelson and his Orchestra. See a 1929 photo of John J. Fitz Gerald and a 1931 photo of John J. Fitz Gerald.
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