A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006.

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“College is a fountain of knowledge where students gather to drink” (10/23)
Entry forthcoming—B.P. (10/23)
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Canadian Brainwashing Corporation (Canadian Broadcasting Corporation or CBC nickname) (10/23)
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Entry from November 15, 2012
“Two peanuts were walking down the street—one was assaulted” (joke)

"Two peanuts were walking down the street—one was assaulted” ("assaulted" is a pun on “a salted” peanut) is a joke that has been published on many websites. “Two peanuts were walking down the street and one was assaulted” has been cited in print since at least 1958.

There are New York and Central Park versions:

. “Two peanuts were walking through the New York. One was assaulted.”
. “Two peanuts were walking in Central Park. One was assaulted.”


Wikipedia: The Funniest Joke in the World
“The Funniest Joke in the World” is the title most frequently used for written references to a Monty Python’s Flying Circus comedy sketch, which is also known by two other phrases that appear within it, “Joke Warfare” and “Killer Joke”, the latter being the most commonly spoken title used to refer to it. The premise of the sketch is that the joke is so funny that anyone who reads or hears it promptly dies from laughter.

Broadcast
The sketch appeared in the first episode of the television show Monty Python’s Flying Circus ("Whither Canada"), first shown on October 5, 1969.
(...)
The Germans attempt counter-jokes. Eventually their best joke is used in action ("Der ver zwei peanuts, valking down der strasse, and von vas . . . assaulted! peanut."), but proves in English to be ineffective.

Pithypedia
Two peanuts were walking through the New York. One was assaulted.
-- Anonymous

7 September 1958, Denton (TX) Record-Chronicle, “High School News” by David Robinson, sec. 2, pg. 6, col. 1:
I interrupt this summary to give you a news bulletin. Last night two peanuts were walking down the street and one was a-salted!

21 November 1958, Indiana (PA) Evening Gazette, “Inside Indiana” by Bill Hastings, pg. 1, col. 1:
It didn’t originate here: “Two peanuts went for a walk in the woods. One was a salted,” so says Mo Mabon.

1 November 1980, Daily Northwestern (Evanston, IL), TGIF, pg. 12, col. 1:
Two peanuts were walking down the street and one was assaulted.

Google Books
When You’re Up to Your Ass in Alligators: More Urban Folklore from the Paperwork Empire
By Alan Dundes and Carl R. Pagter
Detroit, MI: Wayne State University Press
1987
Pg. 217:
The two peanuts that took a walk in the woods — one was assaulted?

5 March 1987, Augusta (GA) Chronicle, ‘Perlman forced to become connoisseur” by John Rockwell (New York Times), pg. 2, col. 3:
As he puttered away, Perlman cracked terrible food jokes ("Two peanuts were walking in Central Park; one was assaulted") and dropped cooking hints that a neophyte food writer dutifully jotted down.
(Itzhak Perlman—ed.)

Google Books
The Book of Words
By Lawrence Kushner
Woodstock, VT: Jewish Lights Pub.
1993
Pg. 66:
Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was assaulted...peanut.

Google News Archive
4 February 1993, Madison (IN) Courier, “I’m Just Sayin’” by Scott Karst, pg. 9, col. 1:
That was probably the dumbest thing I ever heard in my 28 1/2 years on this planet, with the one exception being my uncle’s joke about two peanuts walking down the street and one was assaulted (a salted).

The Canonical List of Taglines
Maintained by Jascha Franklin-Hodge
Last Update: 1994/11/27 5:22pm EST
(...)
Two peanuts went to New York. One was assaulted.

23 September 1996, Rocky Mountain News (Denver, CO), “The Monday Joke” by Rebecca Jones:
Two peanuts were walking in Central Park, one was assaulted.

Google Books
The Best Life List:
Your Itemized Guide to the Good Life

By Dee Dee Clermont
Avon, MA: Adams Media
2012
Pg. 142:
Word-Play Joke: Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was assaulted. 

Posted by Barry Popik
New York CityFood/Drink • Thursday, November 15, 2012 • Permalink