A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006.

Recent entries:
Entry forthcoming—B.P. (12/22)
Entry forthcoming—B.P. (12/22)
Entry forthcoming—B.P. (12/22)
“There was a fight at the fish and chip shop. The fish got battered” (12/21)
“If you’re white, it’s all right” (12/21)
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Entry from November 05, 2012
“We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police”

"We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police” is a one-line joke from Baltimore-born comedian Jeff Marder. The line has been cited in print since at least 1994 and has been included on many websites.


Google Books
The Fifth and Far Finer Than the First Four 637 Best Things Anybody Ever Said
By Robert Byrne
New York, NY: Fawcett Crest
1994
416
We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police.
Jeff Marder

Google Groups: alt.politics.libertarian
Caliban
4/30/94
(...)
When pizza deliveries get to your house faster than the police, and Federal Express and UPS deliver faster than the Post Office, and private schools educate their students better than government-run schools (and often spend less to do it), I think there is a better way of handling this infrastrucure than letting the same folks who run the Pentagon, the Post Office, and the collapsing public schools provide that for us as well—or as badly . . .

Google Books
That’s Funny!:
A Compendium of Over 1,000 Great Jokes from Today’s Hottest Comedians

New York, NY: Cader Books; Kansas City, MO: Andrews and McMeel
1996
Pg. 62:
We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police. -JEFF MARDER

Google Grouips: alt.quotations
Need Humorous Quotes Relating to Police Officers
michael moncur
7/27/96
“We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police.”
-- Jeff Marder

13 September 1998, New York (NY) Post, “Strictly for Laughs” by Joey Adams, pg. 66:
POLICE: We live in a time when pizza gets to your house faster than the police.

23 May 2000, Denver (CO) Post, “Remember “don’t eat the yellow snow’?” by Bill Husted, pg. A2:
Sez who: “We live in an age where pizza gets to your home before the police.” Jeff Marder.

Google Books
The Dark Side of Apple Pie, Baby Food, and Bunnies:
220 Scary Facts about the THings You THought You Loved

By Ken Lytle and Katie Corcoran Lytle
Avon, MA; Adams Media
2012
Pg. ?:
“We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police.”
JEFF MARDER, COMEDIAN

Posted by Barry Popik
New York CityFood/Drink • Monday, November 05, 2012 • Permalink