A “runner bean” isn’t necessarily athletic, but there’s a riddle:
Q: What is the fastest vegetable?
A: The runner bean!
The joke has been cited in print since at least 1972.
Wikipedia: Phaseolus coccineus
Phaseolus coccineus, known as runner bean, scarlet runner bean, or multiflora bean, is a plant in the legume or Fabaceae family.
It is grown both as a food plant and an ornamental plant.
22 October 1972, The Sun-Herald (Sydney, Australia), Junior sec., pg. 79, col. 4:
Q. What is the fastest vegetable?
A. The runner bean!
—Kerry McDermott (12), South Coogee.
Google Groups: alt.support.depression.manic
ZZZZzzzzzz - I wish
Jason and his Argonauts
1/4/99
(...)
is it spring yet? which talking of beans reminds me of a funny thing what’s the fastest vegetable in the world? a runner bean of course.are beans vegetables? i don’t know i guess they are
Google Books
Toby and His Old Tin Tub
By Colin West
Minneapolis, MN: Picture Window Books
2005
Pg. 37:
What’s the fastest vegetable?
A runner bean!
Twitter
Tia Gow
@tiajadegow
@TheWantedMusic What’s the fastest vegetable? A runner bean #TWFanFriday
7:47 AM - 3 Sep 2010
Secret Seed Society
Top 100 veggie jokes of all time
April 27, 2011
Here’s a growing collection of the top 100 veggie jokes of all time…
What’s the fastest vegetable?
A runner bean
Twitter
Shelton Family Farms
@SheltonFarm
Q: What’s the fastest vegetable?
A: A runner bean http://fb.me/LzT74TOW
7:57 PM - 5 Jul 2011
Twitter
Orckid Design
@OrckidDesign
Oh Dear! Bad jokes from the Studio
What’s the fastest vegtable in the world…? A RUNNER BEAN!
10:51 AM - 31 Aug 2011
Google Books
101 Amazing Food Jokes
By Jack Goldstein
Andrews UK Limited
2013
Pg. ?:
What’s the fastest vegetable?
A runner bean!
Google Books
1001 Kid’s Jokes
By Kay Barnham
London: Arcturus Publishing
2016
Pg. ?:
What’s the fastest vegetable on earth?
A runner bean.
Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006. Now a Popeyes fast food restaurant on Google Maps.
Recent entries:
•“Laughter is the best medicine…except for treating diarrhea” (4/15)
•“Laughter is the best medicine. Unless you have diarrhea” (4/15)
•“If you know someone who is effortlessly happy in the morning, that is a demon. You’re friends with a demon” (4/15)
•“You know you’re a bad driver when Siri says: ‘In 400 feet, stop and let me out’” (4/15)
•“You know your driving is really terrible when your GPS says ‘After 300 feet, stop and let me out!’’ (4/15)
More new entries...
Above, Big Apple Corner at 54th Street and Broadway in Manhattan. Google Maps. Stolen and missing, 2021-2024.
Above, John J. Fitz Gerald, from the Aug. 15, 1931, Binghamton (NY) Press, pg. 14.
Listen to Robert Emmerich introduce "The Big Apple," a hit song from 1937. Music written by Bob and performed by Tommy Dorsey's Clambake Seven with Bob on piano. Lyrics written by Buddy Bernier and sung by Edythe Wright. Audio provided by Dorothy Emmerich.
Also listen to a 1937 "The Big Apple" song by Ozzie Nelson and his Orchestra. See a 1929 photo of John J. Fitz Gerald and a 1931 photo of John J. Fitz Gerald.
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