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Entry from September 05, 2007
“Change planes in Dallas” (where a Texan going to heaven or hell goes first)

The Dallas-Fort Worth airport is a Texas hub. It’s been said that if you’re going to heaven or going to hell, you’ll still have to change planes in Dallas. The joke has been current since at least the 1970s.

“Change planes in Dallas” was a Hank Hill line in a 2001 episode of the animated Texas-themed show, King of the Hill. Kinky Friedman often used the joke, finally including it in the subtitle of his 2003 Guide to Texas Etiquette.


12 April 1975, Winnipeg (Canada) Free Press, entertainment section, pg. 8, col. 1:
If you die and go either to Heaven or Hell in Austin, you still must change planes in Dallas.

2 May 1976, San Antonio Light, pg. 1G, col. 1:
Frustrated gent coming out of airline office on St. Mary’s was heard to mutter, “Seems that even if you want to go to hell, you’ve got to change planes in Dallas.”

11 September 1994, Virginian-Pilot, Book Review by Earl Swift, pg. J2:
MYSTERY STUDDED WITH MESQUITE IS KINKY FUN
ARMADILLOS & OLD LACE
KINKY FRIEDMAN
Simon & Schuster. 236 pp. $21.

Hebrew cowpoke Kinky Friedman is a far better novelist than he was a musician.
(...)
“Whether your destination is heaven or hell,’’ Friedman growls, “first you have to change planes in Dallas-Fort Worth.’’

King of the Hill
King of the Hill
Yankee Hankie
Episode Number: 94 Season Num: 5 First Aired: Sunday February 4, 2001 Prod Code: 5ABE06

Peggy: Hank, informed sources tell me that you were dead in the water, and then you came back to life. So you were reborn in Texas. Meaning you are a native Texan.
Hank: No, I’m not a native Texan. I’m just a Texan.
Peggy: And I am a Texan too.
Hank: I don’t remember seeing any Montana flag at the Alamo.
Peggy: Well, it wasn’t a state then.
Hank: Fine, everybody’s a Texan. Change planes in Dallas, you’re a Texan. 

Amazon.com
Kinky Friedman’s Guide to Texas Etiquette: Or How to Get to Heaven or Hell Without Going Through Dallas-Fort Worth (Paperback)
by Kinky Friedman (Author)
Paperback: 224 pages
Publisher: Harper Paperbacks (April 1, 2003)

The Ambler (May 2005)
Or as Hank Hill once bitterly observed, “Sure, everyone’s a Texan. Change planes in Dallas, and you’re a Texan.”

Conglomerate Blog
July 17, 2006
File Under “I Can’t Believe This is Happening”: The DOJ Arrests CEO of BetOnSports PLC While Changing Planes in Dallas
Posted by Christine Hurt
Growing up in Lubbock, the joke was that to get to heaven, you had to change planes in Dallas.

Some Assembly Required
Friday, February 02, 2007
(...)
I had to change planes in Dallas (From Austin, Texas you cannot die and go to heaven without changing planes).

Posted by Barry Popik
Texas (Lone Star State Dictionary) • (0) Comments • Wednesday, September 05, 2007 • Permalink