A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006.

Recent entries:
Entry forthcoming—B.P. (6/17)
“A blank piece of paper is God’s way of telling us how hard it is to be God” (6/17)
“Books serve to show a man that those original thoughts of his aren’t very new after all” (6/17)
Entry forthcoming—B.P. (6/17)
“Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn’t know you left open” (6/17)
More new entries...

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Maccabees (Yeshiva University teams)

Machaca (Machacado con heuvo)

Machito ("Texas Haggis")

Macro Tourist

Macy's Flower Show

"Made in New York"

"Made in Texas by Texans"

Madhattan (mad + Manhattan)

Madison Avenue of Hispanic Advertising (Houston Street in San Antonio)

Mad. Ave.

Mad Men (Madison Avenue admen)

Mad Money

Mafia Cop

Mafrika Festival (Music of Africa)

Magic City (Omaha, Nebraska nickname)

Magic Number

Magic Valley (Lower Rio Grande Valley nickname)

Magnet School

Magnolia City (Houston nickname)

MAGS (Microsoft, Amazon, Google and Salesforce)

MaHi (Marble Hill)

Mahjong (Mah Jongg)

"Maid in the living room, cook in the kitchen, whore in the bedroom" (Jerry Hall)

Mail-Order Cowboy

"Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them for Christmas"

Maine: "As Maine goes, so goes the nation"

Maine: Fox (nickname)

Maine: Lumber State (nickname)

Maine: Pine Tree State (nickname)

"Mainhattan" (Frankfurt am Main)

Mainly Socialist Media (Main Stream Media or MSM nickname)

Mainstream Media (MSM)

"Maintenance doesn't cost -- it pays"

Main Drag of Many Tears (125th or 126th Street)

Main Stem (Broadway)

Main Stemmer (Mainstemmer)

Main Stemmer (Mainstemmer)

Main Stemmer (Mainstemmer)

Main Stem Femme (a Broadway girl)

Main Stem Femme (a Broadway girl)

Main Stem Femme (a Broadway girl)

Main Street Across America (Lincoln Highway)

Main Street Media (MSM)

Maiter (model + waiter)

Makers and Takers

"Make Austin Normal"

"Make a federal case (out of it)"

"Make a living, not a killing"

"Make a mark, not a scar"

Make-Believe Media (MBM)

"Make it a Blockbuster night" (Blockbuster)

"Make Life Delicious!" (Shipley Do-Nuts)

"Make like a banana and split"

"Make me one with everything" (Zen master-ordering-a-hot dog joke)

Make-or-Miss League (NBA basketball)

"Make the little things count. Teach midgets math"

"Make vanilla pudding. Put in mayo jar. Eat in public" (prank)

"Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen"

"Make yourself at home -- clean my kitchen"

"Make your exercise resolution on the Chinese new year to avoid crowded gyms"

"Make your mark in New York, and you are a made man"

"Make your parents proud, your enemies jealous, and yourself happy"

"Make your passion your paycheck"

"Make your tongue slap your brain" (good cooking)

"Make you the world a bit better or more beautiful because you have lived in it"

"Making fun of a fat person at a gym is like making fun of a sick person at a hospital"

"Making fun of a fat person at the gym is like making fun of a homeless person at a job fair"

"Making fun of a fat person at the gym is like making fun of a homeless person at a job fair"

"Making mistakes does not mean you're a failure. It just means you're trying and learning in life"

"Making mistakes is human, but when you make mistakes in a Captcha, you aren't human"

"Makin' Whoopee" (1928)

Malazy (malaise + lazy)

"Malfunction at the junction" (SWC football announcer Kern Tips)

Malfunction Junction (College Station)

"Mall kiosk workers are the human equivalent of pop-up ads"

Malnegligence (malice + negligence)

Mambo Taxi (cocktail)

Mamie Taylor (cocktail)

"Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things"

Management of Perception Economics (MOPE)

Mancession (man + recession)

Manfluence (man + influence); Manfluencer (man + influencer)

Manhatin' (feminist cocktail)

Manhatitlán (Manhattan + Tenochtitlan)

Manhattanesque

Manhattanistan (Manhattan + -istan)

Manhattanite (inhabitant of Manhattan)

Manhattanization

Manhattan's Other Island (Roosevelt Island)

"Manhattan" (1925) (not "I'll Take Manhattan")

Manhattan Clam Chowder (Coney Island Clam Chowder; Fulton Market Clam Chowder)

Manhattan Cocktail

Manhattan College (in the Bronx)

Manhattan Cooler (cocktail)

Manhattan Distance

Manhattan Drop (wrestling)

Manhattan of the Middle East (Abu Dhabi, Dubai and Tel Aviv nickname)

"Manhattan of the South" (Brickell in Miami, Florida)

"Manhattan on the Maas" (Rotterdam)

"Manhattan on the Potomac" (Rosslyn, Arlington VA)

Manhattan Project

Manhattan Rubber (bowling ball)

Manhattan Sandwich (similar to Denver Sandwich/Western Sandwich)

Manhattan Schist

Manhattan Silver/White (drugs)

Manhattan Skyline (Tombstoning)

Manhattan Solstice (Manhattanhenge or Sensational Sunset)

Manhattan Special Espresso Coffee Soda (from Brooklyn)

"Manhattan--The Heart of the Big Apple"

Manhattan Transfer

Manhattan Truffle (Tartufo)

Manhattan Wiring (electronics)

Manicotti

Manitos ("little brothers" or Spanish-speaking New Mexicans)

Mannouncer (man + announcer); Mannouncing

"Manny Hanny" (Manufacturers Hanover Trust)

MaNo (Manhattan North)

Manske Rolls

Manspreading

Manufactroversy (manufactured controversy)

Manufacturers Hangover (Manufacturers Hanover nickname)

"Many are cold, but few are frozen"

"Many failures did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up"

"Many fine things can be done in a day if you don’t always make that day tomorrow"

"Many have eaten here -- few have died"

"Many people look forward to the new year for a new start on old habits"

"Many people spend money they haven't earned...to impress people they don't like"

"Many years ago I resolved never to bother with New Year's resolutions, and I've stuck with it"

Manzana Principal (suggested in 1966)

Man Aisle (store aisle of products men shop for)

"Man bites dog"

"Man cannot live by bread alone; he must have peanut butter"

"Man does not live by coffee alone. Have a danish"

"Man does not live by words alone -- despite sometimes eating them"

"Man goes to the doctor with a strawberry growing out of his head" (joke)

"Man is the only animal that can he skinned more than once"

"Man with one chopstick go hungry"

"Man works from sun to sun, but woman's work is never done"

"Maple syrup is thicker than blood" (joke)

"Maple syrup is tree blood"

Maque Chou (Maque Choux; Maquechou; Maquechoux)

Marble Cake

Marble Ceiling

Marble Row (Fifth Avenue, between 57th and 58th Streets)

"Marching Bands of Manhattan" (2005)

March Madness (NCAA Men's Division I Basketball Championship)

Mardi Gras City (New Orleans nickname)

Marfaite (inhabitant of Marfa)

Marfan (inhabitant of Marfa)

Marfa Lights

Marfa (summary)

Margarita Cheesecake

Margarita Chicken (Chicken Margarita)

Margarita (cocktail)

Margarita Monday

Margarita Pie

Margin Stanley (Morgan Stanley nickname)

Marguery Sauce (Filet of Sole Marguery)

Marketplace for the World (Javits Convention Center)

"Bull markets climb a wall of worry" (Wall Street proverb)

"Markets don't crash from all-time highs"

"Markets make managers"

"Markets make opinions"

Mark Green and Audrey Munson ("Civic Fame")

Mark-to-Fiction Accounting (imaginary mark-to-market accounting)

Mark-to-Unicorn Accounting (imaginary mark-to-market accounting)

Mark Twain (nautical term and name)

Marmageddon (marmite + Armageddon)

Marranitos or Cochinitos or Puerquitos (little gingerbread pigs)

"Marriage is about love and divorce is about money"

"Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?"

"Marriage is a workshop...where the husband works and the wife shops"

"Marriage is like a deck of cards" (joke)

"Marriage is when a man loses his Bachelor's degree and a woman gets her Master's degree"

Marriage Without Formalities (Common Law Marriage)

"Marry a girl from Texas -- no matter how tough things get, she's tougher"

"Marry someone who has a different favorite cereal than you so they won't eat all of yours"

Marshallite (inhabitant of Marshall)

"Marshmallows don’t dissolve. They use hot cocoa as a way to teleport to their homeworld"

Martha or Martha Washington Bridge (lower level of George Washington Bridge)

"Martinis are like women's breasts. One isn't enough and three are too many"

Martini Shot (final film shot of day)

Marxette (female Marxist)

Marxocrat (Marxist + Democrat); Marxocratic

Maryland: Clam Thumper or Craw Thumper (nickname)

Maryland: Old Line State (nickname)

"Mary and Abby!"/"Mary and Abby who?"/"Mary Christmas and a Abby New Year!"

Mary Ann Pan (Mary Ann Cake Pan)

"Mary, I'm having one more pint with the lads. If I'm not home in 20 minutes, read this again"

Mary Pickford (cocktail)

"Mashed potatoes are the potato version of applesauce"

"Mashed potatoes beg the question: 'what else could we massively improve by squashing it?'"

Mason (Fruit) Jar

Massachusetts: Bay State (nickname)

Massachusetts: Taxachusetts (nickname)

Massive Bank Account ("MBA" backronym)

Massive Bank Account ("MBA" backronym)

Master Bullshit Artist ("MBA" backronym)

Master of the Universe

Masturbator of the Universe (banker nickname)

Matchstick Potatoes (Matchstick Fries)

"Mathematics is 90% common sense, the other half is intelligence"

"Mathematics is the cheapest science"

"Mathematics is the second-cheapest department at any college"

"Math is a drama queen. It can't seriously have that many problems"

"Math puns are the first sine of madness"

"Math -- the only subject that counts"

"Math trumps politics"

Maturialism (mature + materialism)

Matzah Ball Soup (Matza Ball Soup; Matzoh Ball Soup; Matzo Ball Soup)

Mausoleum (Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum nickname)

Maven or Mavin

Maverick

Maxxinista (T.J. Maxx + fashionista)

"Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called 'beautiful' chocolate, just one time"

"Maybe if we email the Constitution to each other, the NSA would finally read it?"

"Maybe if we'd made the 'Most Wanted' feel wanted earlier, they wouldn't be wanted now"

"Maybe if we start telling people the brain is an app they will start using it"

"Maybe I should've said DiMaggio?" (talking dog joke)

"Maybe they call it 'take-home pay' because there is no other place you can afford to go with it"

Mayonegg (mayonnaise + egg)

Mayor's Cup Handball Tournament

"Mayor's Eye" & "Get the worms out of the Big Apple" (Dept. of Investigation)

Mayor's Trophy

Mayor Pothole or Senator Pothole (responsive to constituent needs)

Mayo (mayonnaise)

"May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions"

"May I have a large container of coffee right now?" (Pi mnemonic for 3.141592653)

"May our home know joy, each room hold laughter"

May Take Awhile (Metropolitan Transportation Authority or MTA nickname)

"May the Fourth be with you" (Star Wars Day, May 4th)

"May your burdens be light and your coffee be strong"

"May your coffee be hot and your eyeliner be even"

"May your coffee be strong and your Monday be short"

"May your coffee be stronger than your toddler"

"May your coffee kick in before reality does"

"May your house always be too small to hold all your friends"

"May your pockets be heavy and your heart be light" (Irish blessing)

"May your soul be in heaven before the devil knows you're dead" (toast)

"May your Thanksgiving dinner stay off of your thighs!"

"May your troubles be less and your blessings be more" (toast)

Mazda Lane (Broadway)

McAllenite (inhabitant of McAllen)

McDiving (McDonald's + diving)

McDo (McDonald's nickname)

McEverything (all McDonald's sandwiches)

McGurk's Suicide Hall (the Bowery)

McHattan (McDonald's + Manhattan)

McKinneyite (inhabitant of McKinney)

McNasty's (McDonald's nickname)

McStrike (labor strike of fast food workers)

Meadery

Meal Ticket

"Meanwhile, back at the ranch"

Meatarian

Meatatarian

Meatball Sandwich (Meatball Hero; Meatball Sub; Meatball Grinder; Meatball Hoagie)

Meatery (meat eatery)

Meatkini (meat + bikini)

Meatless Monday

Meatloaf (Meat Loaf)

Meaty Urologist ("meteorologist" pun)

Meat and Three (Meat and Two)

Meat Cloud

Meat Goat Capital of America (Mills County nickname)

"Meat is murder -- tasty, tasty murder"

"Meat so tender, you can leave your teeth at home" (Pit Stop BBQ, Waxahachie)

Mecca (Madison Square Garden)

Mecca of Telephone Men

Mecca on the Hudson

"Mechanical Engineers build weapons; Civil Engineers build targets"

Mediacracy (media + -cracy); Mediaocracy (media + -ocracy)

Mediacrat (media + -crat)

Media Doesn't Matter (Media Matters nickname)

"'Media' is the plural of 'mediocre'"

Media Mutters (Media Matters nickname)

"Media: Scientist claims 'Findings are meaningless'" (joke)

Medicaid Mill (or Medicare Mill)

Medical Industrial Complex

Medicrat (medical + bureaucrat)

Mediocre But Aggressive ("MBA" backronym)

Mediocre But Arrogant ("MBA" backronym)

Mediot (media + idiot)

Mediscare (Medicare + scare)

Meekly Standard (Weekly Standard nickname)

"Meet cute" (romantic comedy rule)

"Meet Me at Clark Street" (St. George Hotel)

Meet Me at/under...

Megadonor

Megatall (a skyscraper over 600 meters or 1,968 feet tall)

Melancauliflower or Melancholiflower (melancholy + cauliflower); Meloncauliflower, Meloncholiflower

Melba Toast (Toast Melba)

Mello Roll or Mell-O-Roll ("Up your hole with a Mello Roll!")

Meltdown

Melting Pot; Mixing Bowl; Mosaic

Melt (Tuna Melt; Patty Melt; Fatty Melt)

Melt Up (Meltup)

Memela (appetizer)

"Memes are just inside jokes that the whole internet is a part of"

Memory Vitamin (Choline nickname)

Mentally Affected Teachers Harassing Students ("maths" backronym)

Mental Abuse To Humans ("math" backronym)

Mental Attack To Healthy Students ("maths" backronym)

Menudo

Menurkey (menorah + turkey)

Menuspeak

"Men are like bank accounts -- without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest"

"Men are like chocolate bars -- sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips"

"Men are like coffee -- the best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long"

"Men are like coolers. Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere"

"Men are like floor tiles" (joke)

"Men at 20 play football, at 30 play tennis, at 40 play golf..." (joke)

"Men build houses; women build homes"

"Men have only two emotions -- hungry and horny"

"Men like football because the priorities are Scoring and Ball Security"

"Men make counterfeit money; in many more cases, money makes counterfeit men"

"Men: No Shirt, No Service -- Women: No Shirt, No Charge" (restaurant sign)

MePa (Meat Packing District)

Mercedes Marxist

"Merde!" (theatrical saying, meaning "good luck")

Merger Monday

'Merikkka (America + KKK)

Mermaid Parade

Meroir (sea version of terroir)

"Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from your doorman -- second notice"

"Merry Tex-mas, Y'all!"

Messed-up Monday

MessNBC or MesSNBC (MSNBC nickname)

MessNBC or MesSNBC (MSNBC nickname)

Mess Box

Mess Wagon

Meteoronomics (meteorology + economics)

Meteoronomist or Weatherconomist (meteorologist/weatherman + economist)

Metronome

Metroplex (Dallas/Fort Worth nickname)

"Metropolis is New York by day; Gotham City is New York by night"

Metropolis (New Metropolis)

Metropolis of America

Metropolis of the South (New Orleans nickname)

MetroStars/Red Bulls (professional soccer team)

Metrotard

Mets (National League baseball team)

Mexiaite (inhabitant of Mexia)

Mexicali (Mexicalli)

Mexican't

Mexican Banana Split

Mexican Brownie

Mexican Caviar (ant larvae or escamoles)

Mexican Caviar (huitlacoche or corn smut)

Mexican Chocolate or Mexican Hot Chocolate (and "molinillo" or "little mill")

Mexican Combination Plate

Mexican Cranberries (cranberries + jalapeños)

Mexican Day Parade

Mexican Eggs Benedict

Mexican Food Shit (Mexican Shits; Taco Shits; Screamers)

Mexican Pizza

Mexican Po'boy Sandwich or Mexican Poor Boy Sandwich (Torta)

Mexican Polka (Conjunto)

Mexican Potato (jicama nickname)

Mexican Rice

Mexican Roadblock (Mexican Road Block)

Mexican Standoff

Mexican Straw Hat (similar to Frito pie)

Mexican Truffle or Mexican Corn Truffle (huitlacoche or corn smut)

Mexican Turnip (jicama nickname)

Mexicatessen (Mexican + Delicatessen)

Mexicoke (Mexican Coke)

Mexi-Skins (potato skins)

Mexonesian (Mexican + Polynesian)

Mexploitation (Mexican + exploitation)

Mex-Mex and New Mex-Mex

"Me and my limbo team go way back"

"Me fail English? That's unpossible!"

"Me? Mature??! Ha! I still laugh when the ketchup bottle 'farts'!"

"Me: What's the wifi password? Bartender: You need to buy a drink first."

MFFL (Mavericks Fan For Life)

MFM (MSM nickname)

MGM (Merrill Lynch + Goldman Sachs + Morgan Stanley)

"Miami Beach is where neon goes to die" (Lenny Bruce)

Michelada ("my cold beer")

Michigan: Michigander (nickname)

Mickey D's (McDonald's nickname)

Microbrewery

Microneighborhood

"Microwave clocks are the best indicator that the power went out recently"

"Microwave clocks are the best indicator that the power went out recently"

Microwave Legislation

"Microwave minutes are longer than regular minutes"

Micro Apartment

Micro-bakery

Micro-loft

Micro-recipe

"Middle age is when work is a lot less fun and fun a lot more work"

Midlander (inhabitant of Midland)

Midnight Regulation

Midtown International Theatre Festival

Migas (crumbs)

Mike and Ike (salt and pepper shakers; jelly candy)

Milanesa

Mildew Plaza (Milford Plaza nickname)

Milhous (middle name to imply "Nixonian")

"Military chaplains bring God to soldiers and soldiers to God"

Military City, USA (San Antonio nickname)

Military-Industrial Complex

"Military justice is to justice what military music is to music"

Milkaholic

Milk Carton Politician

Milk Shake (Milkshake)

"Millennials. Walking around like they rent the place"

Millinery District

Millionaire's Building or Power Building/Tower of Power (740 Park Avenue)

Millionaires' Row (Fifth Avenue)

Millionaire Pie (Furr's cafeterias)

"Million-dollar arm, ten-cent head"

"Million-dollar ideas are a dime a dozen"

Million Dollar Movie

Million Dollar Rain

"Million Dollar Video Game Idea: A game that teaches gamers how to say words to women"

Millrose Games & Wanamaker Mile

MiMA (Middle of Manhattan)

"Minds are like parachutes -- they only function when open"

"Mind over chatter"

"Mind your business" (business proverb)

"Mind your own tits" (breastfeeding saying)

Minerality

Mini-camp (Minicamp)

Minilivestock

Mini-Madoff (Mini-Me + Bernard Madoff)

Mink Brigade

Minnesota Strip (Eighth Avenue, near Port Authority Bus Terminal)

Minnesota: Bread and Butter State (nickname)

Minnesota: Land of 10,000 Lakes (nickname)

Minnesota: "Land of the ski and home of the crazed"

Minnesota: "Land of Two Seasons: Winter Is Coming and Winter Is Here"

Minnesota: Minny (abbreviation)

Minnesota: New England of the West (nickname)

Minnesota: North Star State (nickname)

Minnesota: "Where the elite meet the sleet"

"Minor surgery is surgery that happens to someone else"

Minsky Moment (Minsky Crisis)

"Minty is just cold spicy"

MINT (Mexico + Indonesia + Nigeria + Turkey)

Mint Ratio

"Minutes From Bloomingdale's" (Roosevelt Island, Astoria, Long Island City)

Minute Steak

Miracle at the New Meadowlands (2010 Giants collapse)

Miracle on Madison Avenue

"Miracle on the Hudson" (US Airways Flight 1549)

Mirrortocracy (mirror + meritocracy)

Miscvegeneation or Misvegenation (miscegenation + vegetation/vegetable)

"Miser -- A person who lets the world go buy"

Misogymnast/Misogymnist or Mysogymnast/Mysogymnist (misogynist + gymnast)

Missionite (inhabitant of Mission)

Mission City (San Antonio nickname)

Mississippi Mud Cake (Mississippi Mud Pie)

Mississippi: Tadpole (nickname)

Mississippi: "What do you call a hippie’s wife?"/"Mississippi."

"Mississippi: "What has four eyes and cannot see?"/"Mississippi."

Miss Brooklyn (proposed Brooklyn skyscraper)

Miss Liberty (Hettie Anderson, model)

"Miss one day of practice, I notice; miss two, the critics notice; miss three, the audience notices"

Miss Subways

Mistakesman (Austin American-Statesman nickname)

"Mistakes are a great educator when one is honest enough to admit them"

"Mistakes are proof that you are trying"

"Mistakes happen. Don't dwell on them. Just blame somebody else and move on"

"Mistakes: It could be that the purpose of your life is to serve as a warning to others"

"Mistakes just mean you're trying"

Mistake on the Lake

Mitzvah Mobile (Mitzvah Tank)

Mixed Bathing (Mixed Swimming)

"Mixed emotions -- when your mother-in-law drives your new car off a cliff"

Mixed Fries (french fries + sweet potato fries)

Mixed Grill

"Mixing cannabis with cod liver oil is bad for your joints"

Mixiote

Mixologist

"Mm" or "Mmm" or "Mmmm" ("Mm! Mm! Good!" & "MMMM...TOASTY")

Mobilehoma (Oklahoma nickname)

Mobzdale or Mobsdale (Rosedale, Queens)

MoCA (Museum of Chinese in the Americas) & MoCCA (Museum of Comic and Cartoon Art)

Mockamole (mock guacamole)

Mockingbird Media

Mocktail (non-alcoholic cocktail)

"'Moderate Republican' -- that's kind of like having a gun rack on a Volvo"

Modern Gomorrah

Mofongo

Moink Ball (bacon-wrapped meatball)

Mojito Monday

Molcajete

Mollete

Molotes (Oaxacan "cigars")

Molten Chocolate Cake

MoMath (Museum of Mathematics)

MoMA (Museum of Modern Art)

"Moments of silence are part of the music"

"Momentum is only as good as the next day's starter" (baseball adage)

Mom Wine (Mommy Wine)

Mommy's Sippy Cup (a wine glass)

"Mommy and daddy's little tax deduction" (a young child)

"Mommy, can i lick the bowl?" (joke)

Mom 'n 'em (Mom an' 'em)

"MOM stands for Mother, not Made Of Money"

"Mom used to feed me alphabet soup, claiming that I loved it" (joke)

"Mom, when I grow up, I'd like to be a musician" (joke)

"Mondays are for fresh starts"

"Mondays are the potholes in the road of life"

"Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life"

"Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems"

"Monday is one of my favorite days of the week -- my 7th favorite"

"Monday is the perfect day to correct last week’s mistakes"

"Monday, Joe got drunk on gin and soda water...Soda water causes drunkenness" (joke)

Monday Morning Quarterback

"Monday must be a man. It comes too quickly"

"Monday should be optional"

Monetary Morphine (printing money)

Moneybomb (Money Bomb)

"Money's short, times are hard. Here's your fucking Christmas card"

Moneyvangelist (money + evangelist)

"Money can't buy friends, but it can get a better class of enemy"

"Money can't buy happiness"

"Money can't buy happiness, but it's more comfortable to cry in a car than on a bicycle"

"You can't buy happiness, but you can buy ice cream"

"Money can't buy happiness; it can, however, rent it"

"Money can’t buy you happiness? Well, check this out, I bought myself a Happy Meal"

"Money can’t buy you happiness? Well, check this out, I bought myself a Happy Meal"

Money Doctor (Doctor of Medicine or MD backronym)

"Money doesn't grow on trees" (financial proverb)

"Money doesn't make happiness. It buys it already made"

"Money doesn't talk, it screams"

"Money doesn't talk, it swears"

Money Down (third down in football)

"Money follows ministry"

"Money frees you from doing things you dislike"

"Money goes where money is"

"Money in politics is like squeezing a balloon" (air/water is displaced)

"Money in politics is like water flowing downhill" (unstoppable)

"Money in the bank" (financial saying for a "sure thing")

"Money isn't the most important thing. Love is. Fortunately, I love money"

"Money is like an arm or a leg -- use it or lose it"

"Money is like manure; it's not worth a thing unless it's spread around"

"Money is the mother's milk of politics"

"Money is to New York City as power is to Washington, D.C."

"Money launderers are filthy rich!"

"Money makes the world go round"

Money Making Manhattan (Money Makin' Manhattan)

"Money, Marbles and Chalk" ("Money, Marbles or Chalk")

"Money may not buy friends, but it will help you stay in contact with your children"

Money Muscle (pork butt)

"Money no longer talks -- it now goes without saying"

Money Taking Agency (Metropolitan Transportation Authority or MTA nickname)

"Money talks, but credit has an echo" ("Money talks, but credit uses sign language")

"Money talks, chocolate sings"

"Money talks, gold screams" ("Money talks, gold shouts")

"Money talks, wealth whispers"

Money Thrown Away (Metropolitan Transportation Authority or MTA nickname)

Money Train

"Money trumps politics"

"Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail"

Mongole Soup (Potage Mongole; Purée Mongole; Creme Mongole)

Mongolian Barbecue

"Monkeys write" (New York Times anagram)

Monkey Bread

Monkey Court (monkey business + kangaroo court)

"Monopoly is an old game because there's a luxury tax and rich people can go to jail"

Monsatan (Monsanto + satan)

Montana: Stub Toe State (nickname)

Montauk: The Un-Hamptons (nickname)

Montezuma's Revenge & Aztec Two-Step & Turista (traveler's diarrhea)

Monte Cristo (sandwich)

Montgomery Pie

Month 01 -- January

Month 02 -- February

Month 03 -- March

Month 04 -- April

Month 05 -- May

Month 06 -- June

Month 07 -- July

Month 08 -- August

Month 09 -- September

Month 10 -- October

Month 11 -- November

Month 12 -- December

Monumental City (Baltimore nickname)

Monument District

"MONY MONY" (1968)

Moola or Moolah (money slang)

Moom Picher or Moom Pitcher (motion/moving picture)

Moonbat

Moonbatmobile (moonbat + automobile)

Moonbats Spouting Nothing But Crap (MSNBC nickname)

Moonbats Spouting Nothing But Crap (MSNBC nickname)

Moonbatty (moonbat + batty)

Moonlight Towers & Moonlight City (Austin nickname)

Moonshine Monday

"Moon River" (1961); "Breakfast at Tiffany's" (1995)

"Moose on the table" (big or difficult issue)

Moose Tracks (ice cream)

Mooshine (moo + moonshine)

Moo Goo Gai Pan (Chinese chicken with mushrooms)

MOPAC (Missouri-Pacific; Loop 1; More Packed; More Parked; SLOPAC; SLOWPAC)

Mop Sauce (Mopping Sauce; Moppin' Sauce)

Morale Vitamin (Thiamine or Thiamin or Vitamin B1 nickname)

"More companies die of indigestion than starvation"

"More exasperating than a wife who can cook and won't is a wife who can't cook and will"

"More horses' asses than horses"

"More Money For Your Money" (Emigrant Savings Bank)

"More money has been lost reaching for yield than at the point of a gun"

"More people like baseball than football because they don't need a college education to get tickets"

"More powerful than the will to win is the courage to begin"

More Shit or More of the Same (Master of Science or MS backronym)

"More time is spent checking a speedometer in a school zone than actually watching schoolchildren"

"More time is spent checking a speedometer in a school zone than actually watching schoolchildren"

More Trouble Ahead (Metropolitan Transportation Authority or MTA nickname)

Morir Soñando ("To die dreaming" Dominican drink)

"Morning has broken; Mr. Coffee has spoken"

Morning Schmo or Morning Schmoe (MSNBC's Morning Joe nickname)

Morning Schmo or Morning Schmoe (MSNBC’s Morning Joe nickname)

"Morning Zoo (Z-100, radio station WHTZ)

Moron.org or MorOn.org (MoveOn.org nickname)

Moron Stanley (Morgan Stanley nickname)

Mortgage Mom

Moscow-on-the-Brazos (Austin nickname)

Moscow on the Colorado (Austin nickname)

Moscow on the Hudson (Upper West Side)

"Moses had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud"

Moses' Law: Don't eat in park concessions!

Mostly Mozart

Most Air-Conditioned City in the Nation (Houston slogan)

"Most bicyclists in New York City obey instinct far more than they obey the traffic laws"

"Most Dangerous Place" (between a politician and a camera or microphone)

"Most Dangerous Place" (between Senator Phil Gramm and a camera or microphone)

Most Exciting Team in Sports (New York Mets nickname)

"Most of the best-sellers are cookbooks and diet books — how not to eat it after you've cooked it"

"Most orchestras are just 1800s cover bands"

"Most pastas are very serious, but there are a fusilli"

"Most people don't care about your problems, and the rest are glad you have them"

"Most people overgeneralize"

"Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit"

"Most people would be glad to tend their own business if the government would give it back"

"Most turkeys taste better the day after, my mother's tasted better the day before"

"Motherhood: powered by love, fueled by coffee, sustained by wine"

Motherless Greens (greens without meat)

"Mothers are those wonderful people who can get up in the morning before the smell of coffee"

Mother-in-Law of the Army (San Antonio nickname)

Mother-in-Law Sandwich (tamale with chili, usually in a hot dog bun)

Mother-in-Law Sandwich (tongue on rye; cold shoulder and lots of tongue)

Mother Merrill (Merrill Lynch nickname)

Mother of Texas (Jane Long)

"Mother: What did you learn in school today? Son: Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow.”

"Motorboat, motorboat go so slow..." (children's rhyme)

"Mountain lion in Texas" (joke)

Mountain Oyster (or Prairie Oyster)

Mount Bonnell (place name)

Mouthfeel

Movement Conservativism (Movement Conservative)

Mover and Shaker

"Move along! Nothing to see here!"

"Move fast and break things"

Move It Monday

"Move it or lose it" (exercise adage)

"Move over, coffee. Today is a job for champagne"

"Movies are the one time you don’t want front row seats"

"Movies would be better if they shot less film and more actors"

Moving Day (May 1st)

"Moving the goal posts" ("Moving the goalposts")

"Movin' On Up" (Theme to "The Jeffersons") (1975)

Moxie

Mozzarepa (mozzarella + arepa)

Mr. and Mrs. America

Mr. Big

Mr. Bojangles (person and song title)

Mr. Brown ("Mr. Brown Goes to Town") & Miss White (BBQ terms for light/inside and dark/outside meat)

Mr. Irrelevant (last person picked in the NFL draft)

Mr. Met

Mr. November (baseball playoffs hero)

Mr. October (baseball playoffs hero)

MSDNC (MSNBC nickname)

MSDNC (MSNBC nickname)

MSGM (Macroeconomic, Systemic, Geopolitical and Monetary risks)

MSLGBT (MSNBC nickname)

MSLGBT (MSNBC nickname)

MSLSD (MSNBC nickname)

MSLSD (MSNBC nickname)

MSNBC White (CNN nickname)

MSNBS (MSNBC nickname)

MSNBS (MSNBC nickname)

MSNB-Pravda or MSNBC-Pravda (MSNBC nickname)

MSNB-Pravda or MSNBC-Pravda (MSNBC nickname)

MTA; MetroCard

Much Deeper (Doctor of Medicine or MD backronym)

Muckraker

"Mud is a great leveller" (sports adage)

Muffington Post (Huffington Post nickname)

Muffuletta (Muffaletta; Mufalatta; Muff Sandwich)

Muggers' Express (4 subway line)

Mugwump

Mulita

Mulligan Stew

Mumblecore

Mungo/Mongo

Muppetry (muppet + puppetry)

Muppets (derogatory name for financial clients)

Muppet Trade

Mural Capital of Texas (Breckenridge nickname)

Murderapolis (murder + Minneapolis)

Murderers' Row

Murder Avenue (Myrtle Avenue)

Murder Burger

Murder City (Ciudad Juárez nickname)

Murder, Inc.

Murraytown (Murray Hill, Kips Bay, Gramercy & the Flatiron)

Murray Hell (Murray Hill + hell)

Murray Hiller (inhabitant of Murray Hill, Manhattan)

Muscles Are Required, Intelligence Not Essential ("Marine" backronym)

"Muscles are torn in the gym, fed in the kitchen and built in bed"

Museum Mile

"Mushrooms, the breakfast of champignons"

Mushroom Capital of Texas (Madisonville nickname)

Mushroom Management (Mushroom Theory of Management; Mushroom Treatment)

Mush (sauerkraut & roll)

"Music is like candy -- you throw away the rappers"

"Music is the space between the notes"

"Music is what feelings sound like"

"Music picks you up from where people leave you"

Music Row (West 48th Street)

Music Under New York (MUNY)

"Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and violinist"

"Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist"

Muslim Day Parade

Muspandering (Muslim + pandering)

Must See TV (NBC); Must Agree TV (MSNBC)

Mutts (New York Mets derogatory nickname)

Mutually Assured Blackmail (MAB)

Muzztard or Muztard (Muslim/Muzzie + retard)

Mythical National Championship (MNC)

"My advice to you is to start drinking heavily"

My Ass Rides In Navy Equipment ("Marine" backronym)

"My baggage was lost on a layover in Helsinki. Guess it must have disappeared into Finnair"

"My baker never uses chocolate chips in his cookies. It's okay, I'm sure he has his raisins"

"My bank account needs month-to-month resuscitation"

"My best mate ran off with the garlic bread and coleslaw. I wish he would stop taking sides"

"My BFF is a Bowl of Fattening Food"

"My biology teacher grew human vocal chords in the lab. The results speak for themselves"

"My birthstone is a coffee bean"

"My body is a temple...to Dionysus"

"My body is just a filter. Coffee goes in, sarcasm comes out"

"My book club only reads wine labels"

"My boss said he’ll fire the employee with the worst posture. I've got a hunch it might be me"

"My boss told me time is money. I don't buy that for a second"

"My boss told me to have a great day. So I went home"

"My boss yelled, 'You've been late 3 times this week, Do you know what that means?'"(Wednesday joke)

"My boss yelled, 'You've been late 5 times this week, Do you know what that means?'" (Friday joke)

"My brain has too many tabs open"

"My cat is wondering why I keep cleaning my ice cream cone"

"My ceiling fan has 3 speeds..." (joke)

"My child is an honor student"

"My church accepts all denominations -- fivers, tenners, twenties"

"My college graduation was in an arena, and it was hot in there, like 5,000 degrees"

"My computer crashed. Now all the other computers have slowed down so they can see what's happening"

"My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor"

"My cow died last night, so I don't need your bull"

"My credit card company says I have an outstanding balance. I'm flattered"

"My credit card had suspicious activity -- I bought a gym membership"

"My dad's brother eats loads of pasta. He's my carbuncle"

"My dad told me he was into East Asian music and I was like, 'k, pop...'"

"My dad told me to invest my money in bonds, so I bought 100 copies of Goldfinger"

"My dad was the town drunk. Usually that's not so bad, but New York City?"

"My diet today: 1% real food, 99% Halloween candy"

"My dinner stomach is full, but my dessert stomach still has room"

"My doctor said to stay away from trans fats, so I left tumblr"

"My doctor said to stay away from trans fats, so I left tumblr"

"My doctor told me to cut down on sodium. I took his advice with a pinch of salt"

"My doctor told me to drink a glass of wine after a hot bath..." (joke)

"My doctor told me to watch my drinking, so now I drink in front of a mirror"

"My dream job would be getting paid to sleep"

"My eighty-percent friend is not my twenty-percent enemy"

My Entire Team Sucks (New York Mets nickname)

"My exercise routine consists of doing diddly squats"

"My Facebook-using grandfather died. We won't be seeing the likes of him again"

"My father walks into a bar..." (bar joke)

"My fake plants died because I forgot to pretend to water them"

"My family's in the iron and steel business" (joke)

"My farts always smell like butterscotch. They smell like butt or scotch"

"My father's answer to everything was alcohol. He didn't drink; he was just shit at quizzes"

"My father uses reddit. I guess it's heredditary"

"My favorite animal is steak"

"My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills"

"My favorite color is food"

"My favorite color is pizza"

"My favorite co-worker is the coffee machine"

"My favorite co-worker is the coffee machine"

"My favorite exercise at the gym is judging"

"My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It's called lunch"

"My favorite exercise is chewing"

"My favorite exercise is chewing"

"My favorite garden is the beer garden"

"My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine"

"My favorite position is CEO" ("A woman's favorite position is CEO")

"My favorite seafood is saltwater taffy"

"My favorite time of the year is when the bugs start to die"

"My fellow Americans"

"My formula for success is rise early, work late and strike oil"

"My freedom is more important than your good idea"

"My friends and I started a business where we weigh tiny items. It’s a small scale operation"

"My friend's bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast"

"My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana..." (joke)

"My friend can't afford to pay his water bill anymore. So I sent him a card, "Get well soon'"

"My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in"

"My friend is so vegan, he won't even have his picture taken because he'd have to say 'cheese'"

"My friend said onions are the only food that make you cry -- so I threw a coconut at his face"

"My friend swallowed some coins and was taken to the hospital" (joke)

"My friend told me a joke about a TV controller. It wasn't remotely funny"

"My friend used my to-do list to roll a blunt. He's high on my list of priorities"

"My friend William changed his name to Lawrence, and that's how a Bill becomes a Law"

"My gauge is fine 'til the third glass of wine"

"My Geography teacher died yesterday. Well, he is History now"

"My girlfriend can't wrestle, but you should see her box"

"My girlfriend disliked my obsession with Japanese food, sushi left me"

"My girlfriend fell in an ice cream store. She's now a sore bae"

"My girlfriend told me to choose between our relationship and my career as a reporter" (joke)

"My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy...so I got drunk"

"My government spent $1 trillion on the drug war and all I got was this lousy police state"

"My grandfather died peacefully in his sleep, not like his passengers"

"My grandmother still doesn't need glasses. Drinks straight from the bottle"

"My heart bleeds blue borscht"

"My heart says chocolate and wine, but my jeans say, 'eat a salad'"

"My Heroes Have Always Been Cowboys"

"My hobbies are breakfast, lunch and dinner"

"My hobbies include eating and complaining that I'm getting fat"

"My hockey mom can beat up your soccer mom"

"My houseplants probably wouldn't die so fast if they could scream for food and water like my kids"

"My house was clean yesterday. Sorry you missed it"

"My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit"

"My internet bride got delivered today. She's the WiFi always dreamed of"

"My internet is so slow, it's just faster to drive to the Google headquarters and ask them"

"My internet was down for 5 minutes, so I spoke to my family. They seem like nice people"

"My job at the concrete plant seems to get harder and harder"

"My job is secure. No one else wants it"

"My job is so top secret even I don't know what I'm doing"

"My kids say I'm hopeless at fixing appliances. Well, they're in for a shock"

"My kid beat up your honor student"

"My kid got your honor student pregnant"

"My kid is an honor student & my president is an idiot"

"My landlord wanted to come talk to me about the high heating bill. I said, 'My door's always open''

"My last boss was a dwarf. He was a real micromanager"

"My legs are weak, my arms are sore, my chest is heavy, my body is tired, I WILL NOT BE STOPPED"

"My liberty is more important than your stupid idea"

"My life is a constant battle between my love of food and not wanting to be fat"

"My life is like a romantic comedy except there's no romance and it's just me laughing"

"My life. My choices. My mistakes. My lessons. Not your business"

"My main problem is reconciling my gross habits with my net income"

"My math teacher called me average. Well, that's just mean"

"My mayonnaise is trying kill me or so my sauces tell me"

"My mom always tells me I'm special, but I can't figure out who this Ed guy is!"

"My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper"

"My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow"

"My mother served nothing but leftovers; the original meal has never been found"

"My mother taught me about the science of osmosis -- 'Shut your mouth and eat your supper!'"

"My neighbors listen to good music, whether they like it or not"

"My neighbors listen to good music, whether they like it or not"

"My neighbor blamed my gravel for making him fall, but it was his dumb asphalt"

"My new boss told me to be on call 24/7. I don't mind as July 24th is ages away"

"My new credit card has this awesome theft protection..." (joke)

"My new dog, Minton, just ate all my shuttlecocks. Bad Minton!"

"My New Year's resolution is 1080p"

"My New Year's resolution is to help all my friends gain ten pounds so I look skinnier"

"My New Year's resolution is to stay out of shape. Maybe I won't stick with this one either"

"My New Year's revolution is to proofread more"

"My nickname at school was glue. I don't know why, it just seemed to stick"

"My old school bully still takes my lunch money..." (joke)

"My only talent is I just don't quit"

"My other car is a Porsche" (bumper sticker)

"My other car is a Zamboni" (hockey saying)

"My parents told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, this is called 'Identity Theft'"

"My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance to idiots that needs work"

"My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles elbow"

"My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday"

"My school's development office will find me" (alumni joke)

"My secret ingredient is letting somebody else cook"

"My sex life is like a video game. Single Player"

"My son goes to a private school. He won't tell me where it is!"

"My son identifies as a crescent moon. I’m worried, but my wife says it’s just a phase"

"My sport is your sport's punishment" (cross-country running aphorism)

"My study breaks are longer than my actual study time"

"My teacher doesn't know anything. All she does is ask questions"

"My thighs are so sexy, they can't stop touching each other"

"My Tupperware lids and single socks are chilling somewhere laughing at me. Jerks"

"My TV keeps changing the channels by itself every few seconds. It's an ADHD TV"

"My uncle named his dogs Rolex and Timex. They are his watch dogs"

"My uncle was a great conductor. He was struck by lightning"

"My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nachos" (Merc.-Venus-Earth-Mars-Jupiter-Sat.-Uranus-Nept.)

"My watch is three hours fast, and I can't fix it. So I'm going to move to New York."

"My way or the highway"

"My wife's a peach -- she has a heart of stone"

"My wife's cooking is incredible. With a silent 'cr'"

"My wife's credit card was stolen..." (joke)

"My wife and I watched three movies back to back. Luckily, I was the one facing the TV"

"My wife asked if she could have a little peace and quiet while she cooked dinner..." (joke)

"My wife asked me, 'Did you eat my chocolate in the cupboard?'" (joke)

"My wife asked me to bring home some stuff for the pancakes" (joke)

"My wife dresses to kill; she cooks the same way"

"My wife gets annoyed if I mess with her red wine. I added fruit and lemonade & she's sangria"

"My wife is leaving me because I've put CCTV all round the house. I can see where she's coming from"

"My wife left a note on the fridge that said 'This isn't working'" (joke)

"My wife made me join a bridge club -- I jump off next Tuesday"

"My wife still hasn't told me what my New Year's resolutions are"

"My wife suffers from a drinking problem..." (joke)

"My wife told me to take a spider out instead of killing it" (joke)

"My wife will buy anything that's marked down. Yesterday, she brought home an escalator!"

"My word is my bond" ("Word is bond"); Dictum Meum Pactum