A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006. Now a Popeyes fast food restaurant on Google Maps.

Recent entries:
“Instead of ‘British Summer Time’ and ‘Greenwich Mean Time’ we should just call them ‘Oven Clock Correct Time’...” (3/28)
“Has anyone here ever drank a pint of tequila? I know it’s a long shot” (3/28)
“A pint of tequila? That’s a long shot” (3/28)
“The U.S. should add three more states. Because 53 is a prime number. Then they can truly be one nation, indivisible” (3/28)
Entry in progress—BP4 (3/28)
More new entries...

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Beltway (“Inside the Beltway,” Beltway Insider)

Treason magazine (Reason magazine nickname)

“Solo home runs don’t beat you” (baseball adage)

“Knee-high by the Fourth of July” (corn-growing adage)

Foie-mageddon (foie gras + Armageddon)

“The camera looks both ways” (photography adage)

Five-Second Rule (for food dropped on the floor)

“On the same page” (teamwork saying)

Softball Question

“Spill the beans” (to reveal a secret)

Bean Counter (an accountant)

Gerxit (Germany/German + exit)

Brixit (Great Britain/British + exit)

Spexit (Spain/Spanish + exit)

Liebor or Limor (London Interbank Offered Rate or Libor nickname)

“Alcohol and calculus don’t mix—never drink and derive”

“If it weren’t for caffeine, I’d have no personality whatsoever”

“Four years ago, I couldn’t spell engineer; now I are one”

“The older a man gets, the farther he had to walk to school as a boy”

“Only Robinson Crusoe had all his work done by Friday”

“You can’t build a reputation on what you are going to do”

“I am a firm believer in the people; if given the truth, they can meet any national crisis”

“Draft beer, not people” (“Draft beer, not students”)

“24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.” (Newman Day)

“I drink to make other people interesting”

“Beer: Helping ugly people get laid since 1862”

“I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink”

“We bust ours to kick yours” (sports saying)

“Second place is the first loser” (sports adage)

Guaran-damn-tee or Guaran-dam-tee (a firm guarantee)

Jargarita (jar + margarita)

“One reason why I don’t drink is because I wish to know when I am having a good time”

Just Over Broke (“job” backronym)

“Nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs”

Bureaucratese or Bureaucrapese (bureaucratic language)

Vaporize (money that vanishes)

Bungler-in-Chief (an incompetent top executive)

Micro Apartment

“I used up all my sick days, so I called in dead” (workplace saying)

“Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria; socks can eat any place they want”

“In Vino Veritas, In Cervesio Felicitas” (“In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is joy”)

“Here’s to a long life and a merry one…” (toast)

“Firearms…are the American people’s liberty teeth” (George Washington?)

“A professor is one who talks in someone else’s sleep”

“The state does nothing, and can give nothing, which it does not take from somebody”

“Those who go to college and never get out are called professors”

“Advertising is the most fun you can have with your clothes on”

“I’m not unemployed—I’m a consultant”

“Eat Right. Exercise. Die Anyway.”

“You never cut funny” (scriptwriting adage)

“Show, don’t tell” (scriptwriting adage)

“Broadway’s a great street when you’re going up. When you’re going down — take Sixth Avenue.”

“That’s all there is—there isn’t any more!” (Broadway curtain-call speech)

“Why are they called ‘apartments’ when they’re all stuck together?” (joke)

“If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales”

“The only exercise some people get is jumping to conclusions”

“Becoming a vegetarian is a big missed steak” (food pun)

Six Crazy Hours Of Our Lives or Six Crappy Hours Of Our Lives (“school” backronym)

Come Late And Start Sleeping (“class” backronym)

Fuck, I Never Actually Learned Shit (“finals” backronym)

“Beer doesn’t make you fat, it makes you lean—against bars”

“When you think it’s time to bury your guns, it’s really time to dig them up”

“The Christian Right is neither”

“If you think education is expensive, try ignorance”

“Never talk about religion or politics” (etiquette rule)

“They’re not saying ‘boo,’ they’re saying ‘Lou’ (Piniella)” (sports cheer)

“Home, sweet home”

“Right side of history” (“Wrong side of history”)

Showrooming

“A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts”

NIRP (Negative Interest Rate Policy)

“Born on third base and thinks he hit a triple” (a privileged person)

“Egotism, n: Doing the New York Times crossword puzzle with a pen”

“Get me a table near a waiter” (restaurant joke)

“It takes nine months to make a baby, no matter how many people you put on the job”

“When pleasure interferes with business, give up business” (business proverb)

“Summer begins on the 5th of July in Portland”

Northwet (Pacific Northwest + wet); Northwetters

“Visualize Whirled Peas” (“Visualize Word Peace” pun)

“Most people don’t care about your problems, and the rest are glad you have them”

“Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder”

“Take care of your pennies and your dollars will take care of your widow’s next husband”

“You can’t steal second base while your foot is on first base”

“In wine there is wisdom; in beer there is freedom; in water there is bacteria”

“Tax bads, not goods”

BarCrap (Barclays Capital or BarCap nickname)

“A pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty”

“Worry is interest paid on trouble before it falls due”

“If your dog is fat, you’re not getting enough exercise”

“Water is good for only two things: floating ships and making beer”

“Thirsty days hath September” (beer rhyme)

Rabbits (dollars, or any fiat currency that can be printed in large amounts)

Enviroweenie (environment + weenie)

Envirotard (environment + retard)

Enviromarxist (environment + Marxist); Enviromarxism

“Opportunities, like eggs, must be hatched when they are fresh”

“Opportunities, like eggs, come one at a time”

“Money makes the world go round”

Out-of-Pocket Expenses

YOYO Economics (“You’re On Your Own”)

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