A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006. Now a Popeye's fast food restaurant on Google Maps.

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Mediacracy (media + -cracy); Mediaocracy (media + -ocracy)

Mediacrat (media + -crat)

“In the first place God made idiots; this was for practice, then he made politicians”

Ganjapreneur (ganja + entrepreneur)

“The average person thinks he isn’t”

“Hasta la pizza” (hasta la vista + pizza)

“‘Quotes on the Internet are becoming less and less reliable.’—Abraham Lincoln”

“There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate”

“Nuts just take up space where chocolate ought to be”

“Caramels are just a fad, but chocolate is a permanent thing”

“The 12-Step Chocoholics Program: Never be more than 12 steps away from chocolate”

Great Stone Toilet Bowl (Guggenheim Museum)

CBO (cheddar-bacon-onion sandwich)

“Life is like a box of chocolates, the best ones are half-eaten”

Cafeteria Germ (clostridium perfringens nickname)

“Teaching is the greatest act of optimism”

“Efficiency is a highly developed form of laziness”

“A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist”

“Government does not solve problems—it subsidizes them”

“What do you get when you ask a politician for the truth, the whole truth, nothing but the truth?”

“A consultant is someone who saves his client almost enough to pay his fee”

“You are who you pretend to be (in politics)”

“Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more”

“Diet is a four-letter word”

“When a habit begins to cost money, it is called a hobby”

“Sports is the toy department of life”

“Most of the best-sellers are cookbooks and diet books — how not to eat it after you’ve cooked it”

“Cheese is the adult form of milk”

“A magazine is a bunch of printed pages that tell you what’s coming in the next issue”

“‘Buffet’ is a French word that means ‘get up and get it yourself‘“

Slave Codes (1850s)

“A vote for freedom is never wasted”

“Fancy Restaurant: One that serves cold soup on purpose”

“All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt”

“A smoking section in a restaurant is like a peeing section in a swimming pool”

Antique Media

“Eggplant: where chickens work”

New International Order

Poor Man’s Perrier (seltzer or club soda)

“Character is like a tree and reputation like its shadow”

“A compromise is a deal in which two people get what neither of them wanted”

“Baroque (adj.): when you’re out of Monet”

“Journalism consists in buying white paper at two cents a pound and selling it at ten cents a pound”


One World Government (OWG)

“Trick or treat, smell my feet, give me something good to eat”

“Saving is a very fine thing, especially when your parents have done it for you”

“Never play leapfrog with a unicorn”

“Some people are like blisters — they don’t show up until the work is done”

“Food, love, mother and career—the four basic guilt groups”

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