A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006.

Recent entries:
“You can’t ride two horses with one behind” (3/21)
“There are over 7,500 different types of apple, but only one ‘apple juice‘“ (3/20)
“Alcohol you later” (3/20)
“Our town is so small we don’t have a town drunk, so we all take turns” (3/20)
“If you pay for service by the hour, you buy hours and not service” (3/20)
More new entries...

A  B  C  D  E  F  G  H  I  J  K  L  M  N  O  P  Q  R  S  T  U  V  W  X  Y  Z


Page 1 of 2 pages  1 2 >
Great Rotation (from bonds to stocks)

“Strength is breaking a chocolate bar into four pieces with your hands — and then eating just one”

“A statesman is any politician it’s considered safe to name a school after”

Dark Zone (area without electrical power)

Black Zone (area without electrical power)

“Men are like coffee—the best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long”

“I’m a good housekeeper; every time I get a divorce, I keep the house”

Undertow Election

“A tree never hits an automobile except in self-defense”

“A half-truth is a whole lie”

Global Billionaires Club (One57)

Wall Street on Long Island Sound (Greenwich-Stamford-Norwalk-Westport-Bridgeport, CT nickname)

Black Mardi Gras (Texas Relays nickname)

“Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them”

“If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at some of the people he gives it to”

“Money no longer talks—it now goes without saying”

“Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame”

“A cult is a religion with no political power”

“A man with one watch knows what time it is; a man with two is never sure”

“Seventy-eight per cent of the earth is covered with water; the rest is covered with mortgages”

“An advertising agency is 85 per cent confusion and 15 per cent commission”

“My favorite animal is steak”

“Retired is being tired twice”

“The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win you’re still a rat”

“We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police”

SoPo (south of power)

Democracy Plaza (NBC’s Rockefeller Center election headquarters)

“Fun is like insurance — the older you get. the more it costs”

“You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy ice cream”

“Love, like chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor”

“Revenge is sweet and not fattening”

“A well-adjusted person is one who makes the same mistake twice without getting nervous”

“A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers”

“There is nothing so disturbing to one’s well-being and judgment as to see a friend get rich”

“It’s so much easier to suggest solutions when you don’t know too much about the problem”

Debtberg (debt + iceberg)

“The meek shall inherit the earth, but not the mineral rights”

“Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, until you realize it was your money to start with”

“Insurance covers everything except what happens”

“The less important you are to the corporation, the more your tardiness or absence is noticed”

Billionaire’s Belt

“Foreign aid is money transfer from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries”

“My freedom is more important than your good idea”

“My liberty is more important than your stupid idea”

“I hate coffee—it keeps me awake at work”

“The world is full of apathy, but I don’t care”

“Your child may be an honor student, but you’re still an idiot”

“My kid got your honor student pregnant”

“My kid beat up your honor student”

“My child is an honor student”

Boat Check

Circuit of the Americas (Austin racetrack)

“Know thyself; if you need help, call the CIA”

“If God wanted us to fly, he would have given us tickets”

“Love thy neighbor as thyself, but choose your neighborhood”

“Boisterous Sea of Liberty” ("Tempestuous Sea of Liberty")

“Duty is ours; results are God’s” ("Duty is ours, consequences are God’s")

Mercedes Marxist

“Nowadays, an after-dinner mint is what you need to pay the restaurant check”

“At my house, we pray after we eat”

Goldmanite (Goldman Sachs employee)

“Higher education helps your earning capacity. Ask any college professor.”

“Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?”

“I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight”

“Spelling is a lossed art”

“Politicians are interested in people; fleas are interested in dogs”

“Time flies like an arrow: fruit flies like a banana”

“It’s only money”

“Hors d’oeuvres—a ham sandwich cut into forty pieces”

“Two peanuts were walking down the street—one was assaulted” (joke)

Far Rockaway Cough

Climate Cliff

Destructocrat (destruction + Democrat)

“Duty. Honor, Country”

“Dieters live life in the fasting lane”

“Democrats initiate, Republicans consolidate”

“Speed is subsittute fo accurancy”

“Old deans never die—they just lose their faculties”

“Old teachers never die—they just lose their class”

“Love means nothing to a tennis player”

“Just for the halibut” ("just for the hell of it” euphemism)

“Never play pool with a guy named Fats”

“Now I sit me down to sleep; the speaker’s dull, the subject deep”

“An expert is a man who avoids the small errors as he sweeps on to the grand fallacy”

“There is always free cheese in a mousetrap”

“It’s smart to save money; some day it may be worth something”

“Start a movement—eat a prune”

“Inflation is when you find that your nest egg won’t even make an omelet”

“When you’re finally holding all the cards, everyone else decides to play chess”

“I souport publik edukashun”

“Whiskey was invented so the Irish wouldn’t rule the world”

“Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator”

“Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the play?”

“The safest way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket”

“A fool and his money are soon partying”

“Out of my mind—back in five minutes” (office door sign)

“The quality of a champagne is judged by the amount of noise the cork makes when it is popped”

“Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone you don’t”

“Chef: Any cook who swears in French”

“Filibuster, n.: Throwing your wait around”

Page 1 of 2 pages  1 2 >