School of Hard Knocks (University of Hard Knocks)

University of Life

“The difference between stumbling blocks and stepping stones is the way a person uses them”

“The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese”

“You can take that to the bank and smoke it”

“What’s the difference between a cactus and a caucus?” (joke)

Mediot (media + idiot)

“A hit dog will holler”

“Goals change games” (soccer adage)

“Money follows ministry”

American Spring

“Recruiting is a lot like shaving—miss one day and it shows” (college athletic recruiting)

“There is no First Amendment without the Second Amendment”

“Snitches get stitches and end up in ditches”

“If you are going to tell a lie, tell a big one” (the big lie)

Weed Candy

Ice Cream Fruit (cherimoya nickname)

Big Cave

Pearl of the Prairie (El Campo nickname)

Island of Misfit Toys (Harry Chapin Playground, Brooklyn Heights)

Relief Rally

Pet Bank

Wildcat Bank (Wildcat Money)

Officialdom

“If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy”

“Toothpaste before orange juice equals death”

“Ride your own ride” (motorcycle adage)

“Past performance is no guarantee of future results” (investment adage)

“If every offensive series ends with a kick, that’s not all bad” (football adage)

“Buy cheap, buy twice”

Smart Fork

Bank of Crooks and Criminals International (Bank of Credit and Commerce International nickname)

Turboparalysis

Creditopia (credit + utopia)

“Peace begins when the hungry are fed, and the future begins when the hungry are educated”

“College—The most expensive party I’ve ever been to”

“Are you a pie maker? Cause you make my banana cream.” (dirty joke)

“Who is this ‘moderation’ everyone tells me to drink with?”

Tipsy Tuesday

Wasted Wednesday

Thirsty Thursday

Sober Sunday

Messed-up Monday

Shit-faced Saturday

Fucked-up Friday

Boozeday Tuesday

Margarita Monday

Tequila Tuesday

Whiskey Wednesday

Wine Wednesday

Winesday Wednesday

“It’s a legal system, not a justice system”

Thirsday (Thursty Thirsday)

Thirstday

Moonshine Monday

Mojito Monday

Shunday

Trashed Tuesday (Trashy Tuesday)

Sloshed Saturday

Smashed Saturday

Holy Shit Bank Corrupt (HSBC nickname)

Sloppy Saturday

Twisted Tuesday

Tanked Tuesday

Tasty Tuesday

“No peacocks, no jerks, no whiners”

“Problem with lawyer jokes - lawyers don’t think they’re funny and others don’t think they’re jokes”

“Too big to prosecute”

Brooklyn Blackout (ice cream)

PMS Pizza (pepperoni, mushrooms and sausage)

SOS (sauce on the side)

“Problem with banker jokes - bankers don’t think they’re funny and others don’t think they’re jokes”

Barstro (bar + bistro)

Froyo (frozen yogurt)

“Icing on the cake”

“The party always ends up in the kitchen”

“Pinch an inch” (“pinch test” fat measure)

Liestrong (Livestrong nickname)

CapEx (Capital Expenditure)

OpEx (Operational Expenditure)

Benefeast (benefit + feast)

Conned-sumer (conned + consumer)

“Politics is downstream from culture”

Overland Trout (bacon)

Four B’s of Old West Cooking—Biscuits, Beans, Beef and Bacon

Huckdummy (Hucky Dummy)

Nonstaurant (non-traditional restaurant)

Potemkin Journalism (Potemkin Journalist)

Hodger

Shigging

Livermush (Liver Mush)

Vegucate (vegan/vegetarian + educate); Vegucation

“What do you call 500 lawyers on the bottom of the ocean? A good start.” (lawyer joke)

“Shrouds have no pockets”

“Service is the rent we pay to live on this earth”

“That’s show business” (“That’s show biz”)

“Imitation is the sincerest form of television”

“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others”

“Room service? Send up a larger room!”

“A house is not a home without a dog”