A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006.

Recent entries:
“Stop killing babies to make baby powder” (fake protest sign) (1/21)
“Stop killing babies to make baby oil” (fake protest sign) (1/21)
“Stop killing mothers to make motherboards” (fake protest sign) (1/21)
“Stop killing air to make airplanes” (fake protest sign) (1/21)
“Stop killing air to make airports” (fake protest sign) (1/21)
More new entries...

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“A cup of coffee shared with a friend is happiness tasted and time well spent”

“Women who strive to be equal to men lack ambition”

“Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax and rich people can go to jail”

“Sage on the stage or guide on the side” (teaching terms)

“If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door”

“THINK before you text, tweet, facebook. Is it true, hurtful, illegal, necessary and kind?”

“Avoid fruits and nuts—you are what you eat”

Faultitasking (fault + multitasking)

Texas of Kazakhstan (Shymkent city nickname)

Texas of Africa (Nigeria nickname)

Texas of Asia (Mongolia nickname)

“My advice to you is to start drinking heavily”

“A bad plan is better than no plan” (chess adage)

“Morning has broken; Mr. Coffee has spoken”

“Pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick and pull yourself together”

“If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun”

“After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF”

Poor Door


“Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard”

“Safe as houses”

“There’s no place like home” ("Home, Sweet Home")

“A bubble is a bull market in which you don’t have a position”

“Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it”

“I’ll be here all week. Try the veal.” (stand-up comedian joke)

“We win as a team and we lose as a team” (teamwork adage)

“If it doesn’t look good, don’t put it on your front porch”

“If it grows together, it goes together” (food and wine adage)

“Four things put a man beside himself—women, tobacco, cards, and wine”

“If there is a question in a headline, the answer is always no” (journalism adage)

“If you sleep with the elephants, you can’t cover the circus” (journalism adage)

Greekovery (Greek + recovery)

Sept-taper or Septaper (September + taper)

Pizza Phone (hotel phone button to order pizza)

The Fumble or Miracle at the Meadowlands (1978 Giants fumble)

Butt Fumble (2012 Jets fumble)

“When my ship comes in, I’ll be at the airport”

Aren’t Ready for the Marines Yet ("army” backronym)

Miracle at the New Meadowlands (2010 Giants collapse)

Muscles Are Required, Intelligence Not Essential ("Marine” backronym)

My Ass Rides In Navy Equipment ("Marine” backronym)

Uncle Sam Ain’t Released Me Yet ("U.S. Army” backronym)

U Signed the Motherfucking Contract ("USMC” backronym)

Yes My Retarded Ass Signed Up ("U.S. Army” backronym, backwards)

“Nothing happens until something moves”

Big Apple

“I only like New York as a friend”

“Throw the rascals in!”

“How’s my running? Call 1-800-EAT-DUST”


“Education’s purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one”

“When you’re happy, you enjoy the music; when you’re sad, you understand the lyrics”

“In the pursuit of excellence, there is no finish line”


“An alcoholic is someone who drinks more than his doctor”

“A neutron walks into a bar…” (bar joke)

“Drink Canada Dry” (joke)

“It’s a child, not a choice”

“A goal without a plan is just a wish”

Airforce Rejected Me Yesterday ("army” backronym)

U Suckers Missed Christmas ("USMC” backronym)

Ain’t Really Men Yet ("army” backronym)

Uncle Sam’s Confused Group (United States Coast Guard or USCG backronym)

Under Staffed, Can’t Go (United States Coast Guard or USCG backronym)

Puddle Pirate (Coast Guard member nickname)

Chair Force (Air Force nickname)

Coastie (Coast Guard member nickname)


Loaner Jacket

Must See TV (NBC); Must Agree TV (MSNBC)


General Replacement Untrained ("grunt” backronym)

“The man who loves his job is always on vacation”

Right Kind of Guy (RKG)

“Everybody has two businesses—his own business and show business”


Latte Art

“Take the professor, not the class” (college adage)

“Nobody is bigger than the market” (Wall Street adage)

“It takes a lot of beer to make good wine”

“If it swims, serve Fino; if it flies, serve Amontillado; if it runs, serve Oloroso”

“Directing is 90 percent casting” (theatre adage)

“Give peace a chance” ("Give war a chance")

Ranchocado (ranch dressing + avocado)

Procrasturbate (procrastinate + masturbate)

Beefullness (beef + fullness)

“My word is my bond” ("Word is bond"); Dictum Meum Pactum

Peace Dividend

Boobus Americanus

“Your network is your net worth”

McStrike (labor strike of fast food workers)

Guacward (guacamole + awkward); Awkward Guacamole

Bespoke Vegetables

Stage Mother

“You’ve got to make contacts to make contracts”

“A professor must have a theory, as a dog must have fleas”

“You’ll have a whole eternity to think inside the box”

Black Budget

Blue Velvet Cake

Wine Pawning

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