Father And Mother I Love You (“family” backronym)

“A gathering of baboons is called a congress”

Glitch

“Knocking on the door” (close to a score)

“Romance is the icing, but love is the cake”

“The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one”

“We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give”

“Five percent of people think, ten percent of people think they think”

“Vinegar (wine’s angry brother)”

Over For America (Organizing For America or OFA nickname)

“Never trust a skinny ice cream man”

Brooklynification

Any Body Can Dance (“ABCD” backronym)

“A termite walks into a bar and asks, ‘Is the bar tender here?’” (bar joke)

Abovetexas (Oklahoma nickname)

“A hamburger walks into a bar…” (joke)

“Everything but the kitchen stove”

“A reindeer walks into a bar…” (bar joke)

FOMOH or FOMOOH (Fear Of Missing Out on Hockey)

“It was raining cats and dogs and I stepped in a poodle”

Chopstick-Straw (Soup Sticks)

“They say Republicans are for the rich, Democrats are for the poor”

“Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the government take care of him…”

Doc Shock

Banana Balls (crazy)

Banana Ball (golf)

“Turn your sets off there” (an insurmountable lead)

Tyranny of Good Intentions

“Vodka is just awesome water”

“All gave some, some gave all”

Dollarocracy

“A wise person knows that there is something to be learned from everyone”

“Power is where power goes”

Mexicoke (Mexican Coke)

“Those who are capable of tyranny are capable of perjury to sustain it”

MINT (Mexico + Indonesia + Nigeria + Turkey)

Bloody Ridiculous Investment Concept (BRIC backronym)

“Age doesn’t matter unless you’re a cheese”

QEeen (quantitative easing or QE + queen)

Nostradumbass (Nostradamus + dumbass)

“All roads that lead to success have to pass through Hard Work Boulevard at some point”

“I broke up with my gym. We were not working out”

“Are Girl Scout cookies made from real Girl Scouts?”

“Croissants are just biscuits that studied abroad”

“How to make holy water—boil the hell out of it”

“I’m running out of unproductive things to do at work”

“The recipe said ‘Set the oven to 180 degrees’” (joke)

Big Ugly Fat Fuckers Eating Together (“buffet” backronym)

“The best way to predict the future is to design it”

“Pain makes you stronger; fear makes you braver; heartbreak makes you wiser”

Skyscraper Curse (Skyscraper Index)

“A boss is like a diaper—always on your ass and full of shit”

“Are you free tonight or will it cost me?” (pick-up line)

London Bullion Manipulation Association (London Bullion Market Association or LBMA nickname)

“A critic is a man who knows the way but can’t drive the car”

“If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything”

“The way to crush the bourgeoisie is to grind them between the millstones of taxation and inflation”

“Happiness is not the absence of problems, but the ability to deal with them”

“I was in love with Harlem long before I got there”

Gastrocrat (gastronomy + aristocrat/bureaucrat)

“MOM stands for Mother, not Made Of Money”

Conspiracy Theory

“The bank is open for [player name]” (basketball bank shot catchphrase)

“A coach who listens to the fans ends up sitting with them”

“The country’s in the very best of hands”

“Nice guys finish last”

“Colder than a witch’s tit” (very cold)

Genius School (Baby Genius School)

“To anger a conservative, lie to him: to anger a liberal, tell him the truth”

Little Puerto Rico (Harding Park, Clason Point, Bronx)

Statin Island (statin + Staten Island)

“Trust is like virginity—once you lose it, it’s lost forever”

“Life has two rules: #1 never quit, #2 always remember rule #1”

“Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion”

“A cynical, mercenary, demagogic press will produce in time a public as base as itself”

Sons of Anarchy (Jets defensive line nickname)

“Make you the world a bit better or more beautiful because you have lived in it”

Incorrect Promise (euphemism for “lie”)

Procrasturbake (procrastinate + masturbate + bake)

Gobblegeddon (gobble + Armageddon)

Poor Old Nigger Thinks It’s A Cadillac (Pontiac backronymic nickname)

Had One Never Did Again (Honda backronymic nickname)

Swedish Automobile Always Broken (Saab backronymic nickname)

Big Ugly Import Car Killer (Buick backronymic nickname)

Instant Classic

High-Speed Swim Lane (HSSL or “hustle”)

“We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid”