A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006. Now a Popeyes fast food restaurant on Google Maps.

Recent entries:
“Instead of ‘British Summer Time’ and ‘Greenwich Mean Time’ we should just call them ‘Oven Clock Correct Time’...” (3/28)
“Has anyone here ever drank a pint of tequila? I know it’s a long shot” (3/28)
“A pint of tequila? That’s a long shot” (3/28)
“The U.S. should add three more states. Because 53 is a prime number. Then they can truly be one nation, indivisible” (3/28)
Entry in progress—BP4 (3/28)
More new entries...

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“What’s up, cake?”/“Muffin much.”

“The world needs ditch diggers, too”

“You can judge a lot about a restaurant by how they maintain their restrooms”

Buzzard Boulevard (Broadway)

“Walks will kill you” (baseball adage)

“A walk is as good as a hit” (baseball adage)

“Watch paint dry” (a boring activity)

“No justice, no peace, no racist police!”

“Don’t prune in May or June” (gardening adage)

Fight of the Century (boxing billing)

“Dig a five-dollar hole for a fifty-cent plant” (gardening adage)

“Watch grass grow” (a boring activity)

“How did the person who invented the first clock know what time it was?”

“Never ask a woman who’s eating ice cream from the carton how she’s doing”

“Exercise can add years to your life” (joke)

“Hunting is easier for vegans because it’s easier to sneak up on plants”

“If you can talk, you can sing” (music adage)

“Be honest, you haven’t even walked a mile in your own shoes”

“I’m drinking 2% milk, wondering what the other 98% is”

“If your name is on the building, you’re rich”

“If you can walk, you can dance” (dance adage)

“Before you judge someone, walk a mile in his shoes”

“Great wines are made in the vineyard” (wine adage)

Ewing Theory

Cinco de Drinko (Cinco de Mayo + drink)

Mausoleum (Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum nickname)

“What kind of cup can’t hold water?”/“A cupcake.”

“When you’re in, you’re a guest; when you’re out, you’re a pest”

“Ice skating is just walking in cursive”

“Hitting is contagious” (baseball adage)

“You’re never more than two weeks away from a drought”

Tax Donkey (Tax Mule)

“You can’t fire me—I quit!”

“You can’t fire 25 players, so you fire the manager”

“Lightning never strikes twice in the same place”

“Lightning may not strike twice, but tornadoes do”

“You can’t play boxing” (“You don’t play boxing”)

Donor Maintenance

“Never walk the leadoff hitter” (baseball adage)

“The word ‘Fat’ just looks like someone took a bite out of the word ‘Eat’”

“I’m having fruit salad for dinner…” (wine joke)

“Whiskey is the hand sanitizer for the soul”

“Once you go craft, you never go back” (craft beer adage)

“The hay is in the barn” (football and running expression)

City of Golden Dreams

Star-Spangled Banner (Star-Spangled Flag)

“A ferry is the poor man’s cruise ship”

“In grade school it’s called bullying, but when you get older it’s called upper level management”

“I’m trying to kick dairy and now I’ve got the milk shakes”

“Carrots are a great thing to eat when you are hungry and want to stay that way”

“I asked the waitress for a ‘quickie’ and she slapped me” (quiche joke)

“The Staten Island Ferry is the poor man’s Circle Line”

Always Seek Knowledge (“ask” backronym)

ALICE (Asset Limited, Income Constrained, Employed)

Vitamin N (nature)

“You can never have too much pitching” (baseball adage)

“The radar gun gets you drafted, but you have to pitch to get to the big leagues” (baseball adage)

“Drunk is when you feel sophisticated, but can’t pronounce it”

“Remember, the ‘F’ in physics stands for fun”

“Products are made in the factory, but brands are created in the mind”

“Please don’t throw your cigarette ends on the floor. The cockroaches are getting cancer”

“My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch”

“What’s your favorite musical instrument?”/“The lunch bell.”

“I am a bean; I am very lean” (food riddle)

“The only color that matters is blue” (police adage)

“A paper never refuses ink”

Sucks Children’s Happiness Out Of Life (“school” backronym)

IDGAF (I Don’t Give Away Food)

Shit To Remember Every Single Second (“stress” backronym)

Pander Bear (pander + panda bear)

Tribeca Design District

“A butcher stands 6 feet tall and wears size 12 shoes—what does he weigh?” (riddle)

Thoughts Which I Think They Enjoy Reading (“Twitter” backronym)

Things Which I Type That Everyone Reads (“Twitter” backronym)

Built On Self Success (“boss” backronym)

Very Overpowering Drink, Killing Agony (“vodka” backronym)

“A man fell in a barrel of whiskey, but he died in good spirits”

“How many months have 28 days?” (riddle)

“They’re off!” (horse racing starting call)

“Bet on the jockey, not the horse” (business adage)

Splashtastic (the winning horse on a wet track)

“Chase your passion, not your pension”

“You must continue to gain expertise, but avoid thinking like an expert”

“With money, Latin and a good horse, you can get through all Europe”

“The best way to control the opposition is to lead it”

Senior Slump

“Non-alcoholic beer is like a porn movie on the radio”

“The length of a minute depends on which side of the bathroom door you’re on”

“‘I hate tacos!’ said no Juan ever”

“Rap is all about poor people bragging about being rich”

“You can’t make everybody happy. You’re not a Nutella jar”

“My credit card company says I have an outstanding balance. I’m flattered”

“No milkweed, no monarchs” (gardening adage)

“Salt, sugar, sex—the deeper you go, the sweeter it gets”

“It’s cheaper to send a kid to Yale than it is to jail”

“See you later, alligator; after a while, crocodile”

“War is a racket”

“Vote for Nobody” (satire)

“Vines creep, then leap” (“first year it sleeps, second year it creeps, third year it leaps”)

“You don’t choose boxing; boxing chooses you”

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