A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006. Now a Popeye's fast food restaurant on Google Maps.

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“Why don’t melons run away to get married?"/"Because they cantaloupe.”

“Yo mama’s so stupid, she thought Dunkin’ Donuts was a basketball team”

NYE (New Year’s Eve)

“An engineer, a doctor and a priest are playing golf” (joke)

Anchor Democrat (anchor baby + Democrat)

“An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar…” (bar joke)

“If number two pencils are so popular, why are they still number two?”

“Three logicians walk into a bar…” (bar joke)

Call Girl

“If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?”

Pink Tax (Woman Tax)

“How do you steam clams?"/"Make fun of their religion.”

“Some of my best friends are Jews”

Happy Warrior

“If you’re looking for morals in politics, you’re looking for bananas in the cheese department”

“What’s the difference between boogers and broccoli?"/"Kids won’t eat broccoli.”

“Do you smell carrots?” (snowman joke)

“Someone’s stollen my German Christmas cake”

“Life doesn’t imitate art. It imitates bad television”

Remakequel (remake + prequel/sequel)

“You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on”

“If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt”

“When does New Year’s Day come before Christmas?"/"Every year!”

DisAster Place or DisAstor Place (Astor Place)

DisAster Place or DisAstor Place (Astor Place Opera House)

“How did you become a star?” (joke)

“What’s worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing taxis” (joke)

“The NSA walks into a bar…” (bar joke)

“My grandmother still doesn’t need glasses. Drinks straight from the bottle”

“I know I’m drinking myself to a slow death, but then I’m in no hurry”

“Poverty is not a disgrace, but it’s terribly inconvenient”

“Ladies and Germs” (comic introduction of “Ladies and Gentlemen")

“Movies would be better if they shot less film and more actors”

“Promises are like crying babies in a theater. They should be carried out at once”

“Honesty is a very expensive gift. Don’t expect it from cheap people”

“It was so cold in New York that the flashers were only describing themselves”

“I’d rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are” (poem)

Telegram Square and Globe Square (formerly in lower Manhattan)

Sprots (misspelling of “sports")

“If absolute power corrupts absolutely, does absolute powerlessness make you pure?”

Net Worthless (net worth + worthless)

“Three men walk into a bar…” (bar joke)

“America is where a young man can start at the bottom and work his way into a hole”

“He who kills time murders opportunity”

“Speeches are like babies—easy to conceive, hard to deliver”

Organic Tanking

“Politicians should wear Nascar-like uniforms to show their sponsors”

“Politics doesn’t make strange bedfellows—marriage does”

Truth Bomb (Truth Bomber; Truth Bombing)

“The 2nd Amendment is my gun permit”

Globe Square and Telegram Square (formerly in lower Manhattan)

“I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places” (joke)

Little Pittsburgh (Hunts Point, Bronx)

Little Pittsburgh (East New York, Brooklyn)

“If you need two yards, he’ll get you two yards…” (running back joke)

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