A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006. Now a Popeye's fast food restaurant on Google Maps.

Recent entries:
“I’m really pleased with my vegetable patch. Haven’t wanted a vegetable in weeks” (9/22)
“Brothel? Oh, I’m not looking to make soup” (9/22)
“What is a brothel? Is it a soup factory?” (9/22)
“I’m fat, but I identify as skinny. I’m trans-slender” (9/21)
“I’m fat, but I identify as slim. I’m trans-slender” (9/21)
More new entries...

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“Don’t guess—soil test” (farming adage)

“Waiter, taste the soup!” (joke)

“Years ago, we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs” (joke)

“Three little pigs walk into a bar…” (bar joke)

“Years ago, we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope and Johnny Cash” (joke)

“Don’t guess—soil test” (lawn and garden adage)

Money Down (third down in football)

“A robot walks into a bar…” (bar joke)

“Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop”

“Don’t believe what you see in September” (baseball adage)

“I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once and the seat folded up”

“Two words on how to pitch—throw strikes” (baseball saying)

“How long does it take to tune a 12-string guitar?"/"Nobody knows.”

Hamdog (hamburger + hot dog)

Cultural Marxist Media (CMM)

Oscars of Street Food (Vendy Awards nickname)

“Why don’t you get out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini?”

Facon or Fakon (fake + bacon)

Second Nashville (Austin nickname)

“If slaughterhouses had glass walls, everyone would be a vegetarian”

First Lady (president’s wife)

“The only difference between this place and the Titanic is they had a band”

“How many people died on the Titanic?"/"A boatload.”

“How are genders like the Twin Towers?” (joke)

“What’s the difference between a feminist and a baby?” (joke)

“I loaned a blind guy some money” (joke)

Garden Spot of the World (Greenpoint, Brooklyn)

“If you see something, steal something”

“What does a vegan zombie eat?"/"Graaaiinns!”

“What do we want? LOW FLYING AIRPLANE NOISES!” (joke)

Lovable Losers (New York Mets; Chicago Cubs)

“My father walks into a bar…” (bar joke)

“A mathematician, a college professor, and a textbook author walk into a bar…” (bar joke)

“Whoever said white people can’t jump clearly hasn’t seen the footage from 9/11”

“Jack and Jill work together in an office (joke)

“Mechanical Engineers build weapons; Civil Engineers build targets”

“The best time on a clock is 6:30. Hands down”

“Treat the janitor the same way you treat the CEO”

“He’s a master debater” (joke on “masturbator")

“Too old for Snapchat and too young for Life Alert”

“Golf is deceptively simple and yet endlessly complicated”

“Why is Peter Pan always flying?"/"Because he never lands.”

“How can you get to see the official bird of New York City?"/"Cut someone off.”

“Why did they stop the zombie hockey game?"/"There was a face off in the corner.”

“What do you call someone who doesn’t like food fights?"/"A pasta-fist.”

“What’s the difference between a large chested lobster and a dirty bus stop?” (joke)

Official Bird of New York City (middle finger; pigeon)

“Why is Peter Pan such a bad boxer?"/"He never lands.”

“If I had a dollar for every time I was told I was unattractive, I would be attractive”

“Congress is the only whorehouse that loses money”

“It only takes two to make an auction” (auction adage)

“Karma is a bitch”

“What’s the hardest part about skateboarding?"/"Telling your parents you’re gay.”

Bumbling Bomber

“Bill Gates walks into a bar…” (bar joke)

Pizzaflation (pizza + inflation)

Pizzaflation (pizza + inflation)

“He may not be in a class by himself, but it doesn’t take long to call the roll”

“While you are in New York, there is a bar that you have to go to” (joke)

“A German walks into a bar…” (bar joke)

Apple Pie Trail (Blue Mountains, Ontario; Orange County, NY)

“All those crosses along highways. Christians are terrible drivers”

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