A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006. Now a Popeye's fast food restaurant on Google Maps.

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Crescent News Network (CNN nickname)

“Which building does Dracula visit in New York?"/"The Vampire State Building.”

“What did the apple skin say to the apple?"/"I’ve got you covered.”

“How do you make an apple puff?"/"Chase it around the garden.”

“How do you make a cream puff?"/"Chase it around the block.”

“What do ghosts eat for dinner?"/"Ghoulash.”

“What do ghosts eat for breakfast?"/"Dreaded wheat.”

“What do ghosts eat for lunch?"/"Spookghetti.”

“I’m not cheap. I’m frugal”

“I got fired at the pickle factory” (joke)

“Monday, Joe got drunk on gin and soda water…Soda water causes drunkenness” (joke)

“What did one hash brownie say to the other?"/"We’re so baked.”

“What do ghosts eat for dessert?"/"I scream (ice scream).”

“What do skeletons say before they begin dining?"/"Bone appétit.”

“What did the cute Starburst say to the Mars Bar?"/"Going my Milky Way?”

“What do you call a cow that doesn’t give milk?"/"A milk dud.”

“What do ghosts put on their mashed potatoes?"/"Grave-y.”

“What is a witch’s favorite subject in school?"/"Spelling.”

“My grandfather died peacefully in his sleep, not like his passengers”

“Why don’t ghosts like rain?"/"It dampens their spirits.”

“What does a fat cow give you?"/"Homework!”

“A group of homophones wok inn two a bar…” (bar joke)

Classhole (class + asshole)

“An aposiopesis walks into a—“ (bar joke)

“Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar…” (bar joke)

“A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar…” (bar joke)

“No prayer before eating. Here, the chef knows how to cook!” (restaurant joke)

“What is a goblin’s favorite cheese?"/"Monster-ella.”

“No prayer before eating. Here, the chef knows how to cook!” (restaurant joke)

“How did the skeleton know it was going to rain?"/"He could feel it in his bones.”

“Why did King Kong climb the Empire State Building?"/"He couldn’t fit in the elevator.”

“Why did King Kong climb the Empire State Building?"/"He needed to catch a plane.”

“What’s the difference between a genie and a genius?”’ (joke)

“What’s the difference between new age and pagan?” (joke)

Corporate Comedian

“Farted on my wallet and now I have gas money”

“Farted on my wallet and now I have gas money”

“What instrument does a skeleton play?"/"A trombone.”

“What do you call a haunted chicken?"/"A poultry-geist.”

“What do witches ask for at a hotel?"/"Broom service.”

“What is a pumpkin’s favorite sport?"/"Squash.”

“Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?"/"No, they eat fingers separately.”

“How do zombies do well in school?"/"They eat lots of brain food.”

“I ordered a Manhattan and that Indian bartender charged me $24!”

“How do zombies do well in school?"/"They eat lots of brain food.”

“What is a pumpkin’s favorite sport?"/"Squash.”

“What do you call an empty hot dog?/"A halloweenie.”

“What do ghosts drink?"/"Ghoul-Aid.”

“What kind of coffee does a vampire drink?"/"De-coffinated.”

“Why did the moron jump from the building?"/"He wanted to make a hit on Broadway.”

“Why did the moron jump from the building?"/"He wanted to make a hit on Broadway.”

“Why did the moron jump from the building?"/"He wanted to make a hit on Broadway.”

“An acre of performance is worth a whole world of promise”

“What’s a ghost’s favorite fruit?"/"Boo-berry.”

“No body won the skeleton race”

“Why do ghosts like to ride in elevators?"/"It lifts their spirits.”

“What is a mummy’s favorite type of music?"/"Wrap.”

“What’s a monster’s favorite bean?"/"A human bean.”

“When does a ghost have breakfast?"/"In the moaning.”

“Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?"/"He had no body to dance with!”

“Why did the hotel hire a skeleton on Halloween?"/"He had a skeleton key.”

“How do you unlock a haunted house?"/"With a skeleton key.”

“Why is a ghost such a messy eater?"/"Because he is always a goblin.”

“What do ghosts eat for breakfast?"/"Scream of Wheat.”

“What do ghosts eat for breakfast?"/"Ghost Toasties.”

“What do ghosts read at a concert?"/"Sheet music.”

“What do ghosts put on their bagels?"/"Scream cheese.”

“What do you call a fat jack-o’-lantern?"/"A plumpkin.”

“What do you call a ghost who runs his own business?"/"A hauntrepreneur.”

Spooktacular (spook + spectacular)

“What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit?"/"A blood orange.”

“Why did the Cyclops give up teaching?"/"He only had one pupil.”

Fix Be In (Federal Bureau of Investigation or FBI nickname)

“What do ghosts eat for lunch?"/"Boo-logna sandwiches.”

National Pinko Radio (NPR or National Public Radio nickname)

Saturday Night Liberal (Saturday Night Live or SNL nickname)

“What kind of clothes do zombies wear?"/"Decay NY.”

“Why did the monster eat a light bulb?"/"He wanted a light snack.”

“Haunted French pancakes give me the crépes”

Pure Bull Shit (Public Broadcasting Service or PBS nickname)

“What did the ghost teacher say to her class?"/"Watch the board and I’ll go through it again!”

“What do Italians eat on Halloween?"/"Fettuccine Afraid-o.”

“Where do fashionable ghosts shop for sheets?"/"Bootiques.”

“Why did the headless horseman go into business?"/"He wanted to get a head in life.”

“Why did the vampire subscribe to the Wall Street Journal?"/"He heard it had great circulation.”

“Why did the chicken cross the playground?"/"To get to the other slide.”

“Why did the vampire subscribe to the Wall Street Journal?"/"He heard it had great circulation.”

“How do ghosts like their eggs?"/"Terri-fried.”

“Eat, drink and be scary”

“What is a scarecrow’s favorite fruit?"/"Straw-berries.”

“What kind of candy do zombies refuse to eat?"/"Life Savers.”

“Who digs the graves when the grave diggers go on strike?"/"The skeleton crew.”

“Who do monsters buy their cookies from?"/"The Ghoul Scouts.”

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