A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006. Now a Popeye's fast food restaurant on Google Maps.

Recent entries:
“For Halloween, I’m going to go as a normal person with no mask” (9/23)
“If the news is fake, imagine how bad history is” (9/23)
“Hello darkness, my old friend. Soon you’ll be here at 4 p.m.” (October saying) (9/22)
“Hello darkness, my old friend. Soon you’ll be here at 5 p.m.” (September saying) (9/22)
“Hello darkness, my old friend. Why are you here, it’s 4 p.m.” (October saying) (9/22)
More new entries...

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“I’m going through a lot right now. I can’t seem to find a parking spot”

Papa Has Dough ("Ph.D” backronym)

“How can you tell a bagpiper with perfect pitch?” (riddle)

“Too many chiefs and not enough Indians”

“Don’t be eye candy, be soul food”

“Judge, if you truly are what you eat, then I am an innocent man”

“Was ‘artisanal’ coined as an ‘art is anal’ joke?”

“On the one hand, fireworks are a lot of fun. On the other hand, I have only two fingers”

“Maybe she’s born with it. Maybe it’s the caffeine”

“Donuts before bronuts”

“Donut worry, be happy” ("Doughnut worry, be happy")

“I just sprayed fruit scented Febreze in my bathroom. Now it smells like shitrus”

“Doughs before bros” ("Doughs over bros")

“Why are restaurant servers the luckiest profession?"/"Good things come to those who wait.”

“A cactus is really just an aggressive cucumber”

“My computer has a virus and is only showing ads for American Eagle, GAP and Urban Outfitters…”

“When I was a single man, I had lots of free time. Then I started listening to whole albums”

“There’s no future in becoming a historian”

“Sorry for driving so close in front of you” (bumper sticker)

“If it weren’t for court dates, I wouldn’t be dating at all”

“Running is the best way to remind yourself how much you love sitting”

“Yo mama is so ugly, she went into a haunted house and came out with a paycheck”

“I don’t advertise my lip reading business. It’s all word of mouth”

Parlor City (Bluffton, Indiana nickname)

Diet Joke (Diet Coke nickname)

“Travel is the only thing you buy that makes you richer”

“Most part-time jobs ironically want you to have full-time availability”

“About to put on a suit and tie for the party. Yes, I’m dressing up for Halloween”

“Threw my neighbors a really nice housewarming party. The cops are calling it arson, however”

“If a psychologist became a hip hop artist, does it make the music ‘shrink rap’?”

Parlor City (Monroe, Louisiana nickname)

“Capitalism is controlled by an ‘invisible hand’ that gives most people the invisible finger”

“The most trusted name in fake news” (The Daily Show, CNN)

“Pumpkin wishes and candy corn kisses”

“Ghosts and goblins, spooks galore. Scary witches at your door”

“If one door closes and another one opens, your house is probably haunted”

“Trick or treat, bags of sweets, ghosts are walking down the street”

“Why do vampires drink blood?"/"Because coffee keeps them awake all day!”

“I’m a socialist drinker” (joke)

Waldorf Astoria (solitary confinement)

“Apparently, mime on mime violence is a real problem. You just don’t hear about it”

“Why do vampires drink blood?"/"Root beer makes them burp.”

“Where do pianists go for vacation?"/"The Florida Keys.”

Buffalo: Pizza Logs

“Great wine is like great jazz. It confuses me and I’m pretty sure it’s all the same”

“My wife always prefers the stairs; I take the elevator. I guess we were raised differently”

“Great wine is like great jazz. It confuses me and I’m pretty sure it’s all the same”

“Falling down is an accident. Staying down is a choice”

“Excuses are like armpits. Everyone has them, and they all stink”

Buffalo: Spaghetti Parm (Spaghetti Parmesan)

“Autumn came, with wind and gold”

“Be stronger than your strongest excuse”

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