“Falling down is an accident. Staying down is a choice”

“Excuses are like armpits. Everyone has them, and they all stink”

Buffalo: Spaghetti Parm (Spaghetti Parmesan)

“Autumn came, with wind and gold”

“Be stronger than your strongest excuse”

“Don’t eat anything your great-grandmother wouldn’t recognize as food”

“Sweater weather is better weather”

“I announce loudly to my family that I’m going for a jog, then don’t go. It’s a running joke”

“If people aren’t laughing at your dreams, your dreams aren’t big enough”

“Where do pianists go for vacation?”/“The Florida Keys.”

“If driven carefully, please report stolen” (bumper sticker)

“Squirrels—Nature’s little speed bumps”

“My doctor told me to take up an activity that gets me out of the pub. So I’ve started smoking”

“How do you get rid of a fat ghost in a house?”/“You exercise it.”

“Condoms prevent minivans”

“What do they teach you in pre-K?”/“The first 10 letters.”

“What do zombies eat while on a hike?”/“Entrail Mix.”

Gay Set

“Greenwich Village, home of short-haired women and long-haired men”

Bird Circuit (Manhattan gay bars with bird names)

White Light Belt (Broadway)