A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006.

Recent entries:
“It is easier to start a war than to end it” (10/14)
Moxie (slang for having heart, courage) (10/14)
“Get off the cross, we need the wood” (10/14)
“Objects in the mirror are closer than they appear” (safety warning) (10/14)
“What’s cookin’?” (What’s cooking?") (10/14)
More new entries...

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“Drink coffee. Do good things”

“You can all come out now. I’ve had my coffee”

“Hickory dickory dock, three mice ran up the clock…” (joke)

“My dyslexic French friend said he owed me some money…OUI”

“What is Medusa’s favorite cheese?"/"Gorgonzola.”

“Hickory dickory dock, two mice ran up the clock…” (joke)

“Communion wine should always be full-bodied”

“Don’t tell anytwo, but I suck at math”

“Because you’re worth it” (L’Oréal advertising slogan)

Colorado: “Where do crayons go on vacation?"/"Colorado.”

“Feeling downie? Eat a brownie!”

“When you’re downie, eat a brownie”

Delaware: “Square from Delaware” (slang)

Big Man On Campus (BMOC)

“Officer, why are you crying while writing me a ticket?”/"It’s a moving violation.”

“What You See Is What You Get” (WYSIWYG)

“Because I’m worth it” (L’Oréal advertising slogan)

“Because we’re worth it, too” (L’Oréal advertising slogan)

“Work. Save. Travel. Repeat”

“Whiteboards are remarkable”

“The word ‘vocabulary’ isn’t even in my stock of words”

“Who is the patron saint of security cameras?"/"St. Francis of a CCTV.”

“Mirror mirror on the wall, I’ll always get up after I fall”

“The word ‘vocabulary’ isn’t even in my “

“I like bananas because they have no bones”

“Bosshole (noun): A person who turns into an asshole ten seconds after being made Supervisor”

“If you’re always organizing things, you have OCD. If you’re always eating things, you have OBCD”

“Hustle for that muscle”

Bosshole (boss + asshole)

“If you’re always straightening things, you have OCD. If you’re always eating things, you have OBCD”

“Yo mama is so fat, her alphabet starts with O. OBCD”

“A clockwork toy walks into a bar…” (bar joke)

“You gotta hustle for the muscle”

“What does it say on a blues singer’s tombstone?"/"I didn’t wake up this morning…”

“How many bluegrass musicians does it take to change a light bulb?” (joke)

“What’s the difference between a puppy and a singer-songwriter?” (joke)

“The fact that microwaves still do not have a volume button for the beeps is amazing”

“They asked if I could sing solo—so low they can’t hear me”

“They asked if I could sing tenor—ten or twelve miles away”

“She turned her can’ts into cans and her dreams into plans”

“What’s the difference between a puppy and a folk singer?” (joke)

“How do you get an actor to complain?”/“Give him a job.”

Macaroni Salad

“I’m anti-work but pro-paycheck so you see my dilemma”

“Before video games we had two world wars”

“Pistachios are the rich man’s sunflower seeds”

“You can’t have your Kate and Edith, too”

“How do you feel about canned food? Personally, I’d give it an ate out of tin”

“How do you make an actor moan?"/"Give them a job.”

“Mathematics is made of 50 percent formulas, 50 percent proofs and 50 percent imagination”

“Mathematics is like love—a simple idea, but it can get complicated”

“Math is like love—a simple idea, but it can get complicated”

Big Appling (to visit New York City, 1976)

“For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles”

“The best things in life are free. The second best are very expensive”

“I wish travel therapy was covered by my health insurance”

“I see you have some graph paper. You must be plotting something”

‘The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has”

“Marijuana and coffee is my favorite combination. It’s the reason ice mocha lot of weed”

“Never trust math teachers who use graph paper. They’re always plotting something”

“A perfectionist walks into a bar…” (bar joke)

“A sports bra implies the existence of an academic bra”

“Twitter is great if you can’t afford therapy but you also don’t want to get any better”

“I’m such an expert on palmistry, I’ve written a handbook”

“Stay low, go fast, kill first, die last, one shot, one kill, no luck, all skill” (military slogan)

“What kind of music do planets sing?"/"Neptunes.”

Mrs. Astor’s Plush Horse (Mrs. Astor’s Pet Horse)

“Home, Sweet Home”

“Hit the gym” (to go to the gym to work out)

“I won my first cage fight last night. That parrot didn’t know what hit it”

“Stay low, move fast, kill first, die last, one shot, one kill, no luck, pure skill” (motto)

“I watched my first porno today… I looked so much younger back then”

“What music do planets listen to?"/"Neptunes.”

“Elect a clown, expect a circus”

“Giant Meteor—Just end it already” (jocular presidential slogan)

“My son asked me what our IP address was. I pointed to the toilet”

“Obey gravity. It’s the law”

“I’m on my way to work… PLEASE KILL ME”

“How many introverts does it take to change a lightbulb?"/"Why does it have to be a group activity?”

“Huge financial burden on board” (bumper sticker)

“Guns don’t kill people. Drivers with cellphones do”

“Guns don’t kill people. Drivers with cell phones do”

“Guns don’t kill people. Drivers on cell phones do”

“When will people stop eating ground pork?"/"When pigs fly.”

“Keeping tropical fish at home can have a calming effect because of the indoor fins”

“A pun walks into a bar…” (bar joke)

“Pun enters a room, kills 10 people. Pun in, 10 dead”

“Hang up and drive” (driver safety slogan)

Jitterbug (Jitter Bug)

“The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has”

Old Lady of 43rd Street (New York Times nickname)

“Eat. Sleep. Beach. Repeat”

“People are getting smarter nowadays, letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their guide”

“I had a crazy dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram! I was like, 0mg!”

“Are you ready to rock…paper, scissors?”

“I asked a museum worker if I could take pictures. He said they stay on the walls”

Big Appling (to do the Big Apple dance)

Big Appling (to visit New York City)

“Where do homeless accountants live?"/"In a tax shelter.”

“TurboTax is the worst video game ever”

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