A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006. Now a Popeye's fast food restaurant on Google Maps.

Recent entries:
Entry in progress—BP (12/6)
Entry in progress—BP (12/6)
Entry in progress—BP (12/6)
Entry in progress—BP (12/6)
“The only thing in Texas that changes faster than the weather is a woman’s mind” (12/6)
More new entries...

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“If you keep a pie in each hand, you can’t accidentally touch your face”

“If you have a donut in each hand, you can’t accidentally touch your face or shake hands”

QuaranEaster (quarantine + Easter)

“Why don’t the Chinese gamble?"/"Because they don’t like Tibet.”

“This cleaning with alcohol is total bullshit. Nothing gets done after the first bottle”

Coronacoinage (coronavirus + coinage)

“Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"Social distancing.”

“87% of gym members don’t even know their gym is closed”

“Of all the things I learned in grade school, how to avoid cooties was the last I expected to use”

“They met in cooking class. It was boil meets grill”

Quareaster (quarantine + Easter)

Qeaster or QEaster (quarantine + Easter)

Queaster (quarantine + Easter)

QuarantEaster (quarantine + Easter)

“People who are enjoying lockdown have ‘stuck home’ syndrome”

Seagan (sea + vegan)

“Stepped on my scale this morning and it said: ‘Please use social distancing, one person at a time‘“

“Now that we have everyone washing their hands correctly. Next week: turn signals”

“Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun”

“Hoarders suffer from ‘stock home’ syndrome”

“Can anyone recommend a good breakfast wine?”

“Single man with Purell and Lysol seeking single woman with toilet paper for good clean fun”

“Don’t open a ‘Knock, Knock’ email! It’s a Jehovah’s Witness working from home”

“Days are now divided by coffee hours and alcohol hours”

“Hope they allow us off lockdown by July 4th, so we can celebrate our freedom”

Isobeard (isolation + beard)

Locktail (lockdown + cocktail)

“If you’re down by the schoolyard, stay away from Rosie. She’s the Queen of Corona”

“Imitation crab meat is the string cheese of the sea”

Locktail Hour (lockdown + cocktail hour)

“Don’t open a ‘Ding, Dong’ email! It’s a Jehovah’s Witness working from home”

“At this point, if a clown invited me into the woods, I would just go”

“Just seen a burglar kicking his own door in. He was working from home”

“The City that Never Sleeps is taking a nap” (2019–20 coronavirus pandemic)

“Some people write ‘lockdown’ because they can’t spell Kwarinteen”

“Day 35 of quarantine; Can you blink a little more quietly please?”

“I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to Puerto Backyarda”

“Did a load of pajamas so I would have clean work clothes this week”

“Drinking at home instead of the bar isn’t working out. I almost asked my wife for her number!”

“Remember wishing the weekend would last forever? Happy now?” (quarantine joke)

“All this anxiety better be burning calories”

Shamdemic (sham + pandemic)

“Tuba = Terrible Underwater Breathing Apparatus”

“Cinco De Mayo on Taco Tuesday and it’s ruined by a virus with the same name as a Mexican beer”

“If you water water, it grows”

“A King caught his Queen watching Pawn one Knight in the Castle and decided to report to the Bishop”

“What’s the difference between COVID-19 and Romeo & Juliet?"/"Coronavirus & Verona Crisis.”

“A man walks into a bar…lucky bastard” (bar joke, told during COVID-19 bar closures)

“Quarantine has turned us into dogs. We roam the house all day looking for food…”

“The wife and I have been in lockdown for eight days now. No fucking way I’m retiring”

“We repair what your husband fixed” (repair company slogan)

“A guy walks into a bar…lucky bastard” (bar joke, told during COVID-19 bar closures)

“Cargo space?"/"Car no do that. Car go road.”

“And in the end mankind used so much toilet paper, they wiped themselves out”

Certificate Of Vaccination ID (COVID backronym)

“When we do go back to work, we’re going to need at least a week’s notice to find our pants”

“Security without liberty is prison”

“Security without liberty is called prison”

“There is a guy stealing iPhones around the town. He is probably going to face time”

“A man has been stealing wheels from police cars. Police are working tirelessly to catch him”

“My rights don’t end where your fear begins”

“This lockdown is no walk in the park”

“Does anyone know the number that parents are supposed to call if we need a substitute teacher?”

“An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman don’t walk into a bar” (bar joke)

“Can’t wait till they legalize outside”

“An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. Those were the days” (bar joke)

Trikini (tri- + bikini; a bikini with a face mask)

“Can’t wait til they legalize outside”

“British people be like ‘I am Bri ish’ because they drank the T”

“Overeaters Anonymous hotline. Call 888-888-8888”

“Can’t wait until they legalize outside”

NSFWFH (Not Safe For Work From Home)

“Where did the Terminator find toilet paper?"/"Aisle B, back.”

Certificate Of Vaccine ID (COVID backronym)

“Where in this toy store are the Terminator action figures?"/"Aisle B, back.”

“‘Social distancing’ is an anagram for ‘dissociating clan‘“

“What do you call a walking stick that makes you walk faster?"/"A hurricane.”

“BC is now ‘Before Coronavirus.’ AD is now “After Distancing‘“

“To be honest, I’ve wanted to spray a lot of people with Lysol before this all started”

“What kind of exercises are best for a swimmer?"/"Pool-ups.”

“Might sleep on the couch to cut down on my morning commute”

“1920: Alcohol is prohibited 2020: Marijuana stores are an essential business”

“If the government was created to protect our liberties, why do we have to fight…?”

“To those turning in your neighbors and local businesses, you did the reich thing”

“Bro even sleeping gettin boring now”

“That face mask you were duped into wearing symbolizes you losing your freedom of speech”

“I’m starting to miss people I don’t even like” (2019-20 coronavirus lockdown)

“1920: Alcohol is prohibited 2020: Liquor stores are an essential business”

“As summer approaches, do we dig out our shorts or cut the legs off our pajamas?”

“Small weekend is over.. now entering big weekend”

“Motorcyclists wearing face masks but no helmet is the ultimate irony”

“You know when something is lost when you check the fridge for it”

“I don’t normally cook. How much vodka do you add to the mashed potatoes?”

“I saw two men in matching outfits, so I asked them if they were gay. They arrested me!”

“If government can suspend your rights anytime it deems something a crisis, you don’t have rights”

“Not knowing the truth makes you ignorant. Not wanting to know the truth is what makes you stupid”

“My neighbor and I are good friends, so we decided to share our water supply. We got a long well”

“Just to be clear, none of this matters if there is a virus” (said at Constitutional Convention)

“Gotta say that the Class of 2020 outdid themselves with Senior Skip Day this year”

“Anyone know how much vodka goes in the mashed potatoes?”

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