A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006. Now a Popeyes fast food restaurant on Google Maps.

Recent entries:
“Don’t be a chaser, be the one who gets chased. You are the tequila, not the lime” (3/28)
“Shoutout to ATM fees for making me buy my own money” (3/27)
“Thank you, ATM fees, for allowing me to buy my own money” (3/27)
“Anyone else boil the kettle twice? Just in case the boiling water has gone cold…” (3/27)
“Shout out to ATM fees for making me buy my own money” (3/27)
More new entries...

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“A cookbook is only as good as its worst recipe”

“Research has shown that laughing for 2 minutes is just as healthy as a 20 minute jog”

“If you hold a glass of wine to your ear, you can hear the weekend”

“If you hold a Margarita glass to your ear, you can hear the weekend”

“Gun control—it only ends well for those who control the guns”

“If you hold a glass of beer to your ear, you can hear the weekend”

“I’ve just opened a shop selling telescopes. Business is looking up”

“A cookbook is only as good as its poorest recipe”

“In Texas, all yoga is hot yoga”

“There is no ‘I’ in stupidity”

“Legos are a gateway drug to IKEA”

“Why can’t you trust lemons?”/“Because they’re seedy!”

“It’s weird to think that before Facebook, all of this dumb shit just stayed in people’s heads”

“It’s weird to think that before Twitter, all of this dumb shit just stayed in people’s heads”

“It’s so strange to think that before Twitter, all of this nonsense just stayed in people’s heads”

“It’s weird to think that before Facebook, all of this dumb stuff stayed in people’s heads”

“Before social media, all of this nonsense just stayed in people’s heads”

“Sliced cucumbers are just salad cookies”

“Lego is a gateway drug to IKEA”

“It’s so strange to think that before Facebook, all of this nonsense just stayed in people’s heads”

IMPOTUS (impotent + POTUS)

“U.S. Army: Our job is to defend your ass, not kiss it”

IMPOTUS (Impeached President Of The United States)

“Marine: My job is to protect your ass, not kiss it”

“U.S. Navy: My job is to protect your ass, not kiss it”

“Law Enforcement: My job is to protect your ass, not kiss it”

“Police: My job is to protect your ass, not kiss it”

“U.S. Army: My job is to protect your ass, not kiss it”

“U.S. Navy: Our job is to defend your ass, not kiss it”

“U.S. Air Force: My job is to protect your ass, not kiss it”

“Sometimes I wonder if all of this is happening because I didn’t forward that message”

“I used to be a heavy drinker, but then I lost some weight”

“I’m a lawyer. I’m here to protect your ass, not kiss it”

“I’m a nurse. I’m here to save your ass, not kiss it”

“Be careful when you follow the masses. Sometimes the ‘M’ is silent”

“I have a love hat relationship with autocorrect”

“It’s about time I got out of this cookie” (fortune cookie message)

“I’m a lawyer. I’m here to defend your ass, not kiss it”

“Are abbreviations in sign language called ‘shorthand’?”

“I’m a lawyer. It’s my job to defend your ass, not kiss it”

“I called the cops about a murder on my front lawn…” (joke)

“There’s no ‘we’ in chocolate”

“There’s no ‘we’ in tacos”

“There’s no ‘we’ in bacon”

“He who controls the memes controls the universe”

“There’s no ‘we’ in pizza”

“My wife asked if I wanted to eat some of the chicken on the barbecue. I suggested a chair”

“There’s no ‘we’ in fries”

“There’s no ‘we’ in food”

“How does a computer learn new things?”/“Bit by bit.”

“Smoke brisket, not weed”

“What’s the difference between a good joke and a bad joke timing”

“Smoke brisket, not meth”

“Smoke brisket, not crack”

“Smoke brisket, not drugs”

“He who controls the memes controls the world”

“Autocorrect and I have a love hat relationship”

“‘That wasn’t chicken.’ Worst fortune cookie ever”

“I bought my wig at a discount store. Didn’t want toupee full price”

“If you abbreviate in sign language, is it called short hand?”

“Two elves walk into a bar. A dwarf walks under it” (bar joke)

“Teaching is like a bad marriage. You never get your needs met, but you stay in it for the kids”

“I used to work at a cutlery store, but I quit. No more Mr. Knife guy”

“Instead of a swear jar, I have a negativity jar” (joke)

“You are not illiterate” (fortune cookie message)

“Nothing tops a cheese pizza”

“What is a Karen called in Europe?”/“An American.”

“This is a mind control device” (face mask message)

“We used to live on a very busy main road..” (joke)

“It’s about time I got out of that cookie” (fortune cookie message)

“An elf walks into a bar. A hobbit walks under it” (bar joke)

“I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief”

“Two elves walk into a bar. A hobbit walks under it” (bar joke)

“Transgender rights are human rights”

“An elf walks into a bar. A dwarf walks under it” (bar joke)

“Animal rights are human rights”

“Trans rights are human rights”

“Women’s rights are human rights”

“I’ve decided to marry a pencil. I can’t wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B”

Antimasker

“Due to COVID-19, we are asking protesters to work from home and destroy their own property”

“An inkjet cartridge walks into a bar…” (bar joke)

“A giraffe walks into a bar and the barman says…” (bar joke)

“An anagramist walks into a bar…” (bar joke)

“Due to COVID-19, we are asking looters to work from home and steal their own property”

“Due to COVID-19, we are asking rioters to work from home and destroy their own property”

“That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything…”

“A minimalist walks into a bar” (bar joke)

“This pandemic is exactly why I hated group projects in school”

“It’s only physics if it’s from the Physique region of France. Otherwise it’s just sparkling math”

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