A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006. Now a Popeyes fast food restaurant on Google Maps.

Recent entries:
“Instead of ‘British Summer Time’ and ‘Greenwich Mean Time’ we should just call them ‘Oven Clock Correct Time’...” (3/28)
“Has anyone here ever drank a pint of tequila? I know it’s a long shot” (3/28)
“A pint of tequila? That’s a long shot” (3/28)
“The U.S. should add three more states. Because 53 is a prime number. Then they can truly be one nation, indivisible” (3/28)
“My love for the truth outweighs my fear of offending you” (3/28)
More new entries...

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“Crowded with happy patrons, a dangling modifier walks into a bar” (bar joke)

“A figure of speech literally walks into a bar…” (bar joke)

“Why do women park so close to the curb?” (NSFW joke)

“A hipster walks into a bar you’ve never heard of” (bar joke)

“A bar walks into a commutative algebraist” (bar joke)

“Why are women so bad at parking cars?” (NSFW joke)

“Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parents’ job”

“Shrimp are the cockroaches of the ocean”

“‘Soybean’ is a Spanish word which roughly translates as ‘I am bean’” (joke)

“The last man on earth walks into a bar…” (bar joke)

“Better six feet apart than six feet under” (social distancing)

“When we changed the clocks, we went from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone!”

“All our visitors bring happiness. Some by coming, others by going”

“Everyone here brings happiness—some by coming in, others by leaving”

“All our customers bring happiness. Some by coming, others by going”

“So a hipster walks into a bar and says, ‘This bar sucks, It’s full of hipsters’” (bar joke)

“All our guests bring happiness. Some by coming, others by going”

“The universe will reward you for taking risks on its behalf”

“Leaving the house in 2020: keys, phone, card, vape, face mask, hand sanitiser…”

“I didn’t know how much cookies shaped like integers cost, but I crunched the numbers”

“Eyes hurt from excess screen time? There’s a nap for that”

“Home is where you can look and feel ugly and enjoy it”

“A man takes a hooker out to dinner. He gives her his peas. She gives him herpes”

“Home is where you can look ugly and enjoy it”

“I’m not adding this year 2020 to my age. I didn’t use it”

“Why can’t 45 degree angles get a mortgage?”/“They don’t know whether to sine or cosine.”

“Home is where I can look ugly and enjoy it”

“I’m not adding this year to my age. I didn’t use it”

“I tested positive for sickofthisshit-20. There is no cure, and I may or may not be contagious”

“Home is where I can look and feel ugly and enjoy it”

“Was going to make a joke about my paycheck. Turns out I have insufficient puns”

World Horror Organization (World Health Organization or WHO nickname)

“A Tibetan monk sees Jesus in a tub of margarine and cries, ‘I can’t believe it’s not Buddha!’”

“The best weight you’ll ever lose is the weight of other people’s opinions of you”

Maskne (face mask + acne)

“Did you hear about the new low-fat religion? ‘I Can’t Believe It’s Not Buddha’”

“Better six feet away than six feet under” (social distancing)

“Better 6 feet apart than 6 feet under” (social distancing)

“You’re not a firework. Don’t drive lit”

“Better 6 feet away than 6 feet under” (social distancing)

Face Diaper (face mask)

“How do knights communicate?”/“Chain mail.”

“There is a frog driving east and a trombonist walking west. What can be surmised from this?”

“Sometimes you run into people who change your life for the better. Those people are bartenders”

Face Nappy (face mask)

“In my spare time, I help blind children” (joke)

“To get to the time machine.”/“Why did the chicken cross the road?”

“I have no clue what’s open or closed anymore. I just walk towards the automatic doors…”

“After work, I volunteer to help blind children” (joke)

“Sometimes you meet people who change your life for the better. Those people are called baristas”

“A Viagra shipment was stolen today. Cops are on the lookout for a gang of hardened criminals”

“The moon landing never happened! It’s still in the sky”

“Got thrown out of Mime Club yesterday. Must have been something I said”

Freedom Mask (face mask)

“What has three letters and starts with gas?”/“A car.”

“The USA: A country so great that even her haters refuse to leave”

“America: The country so great that even its haters refuse to leave”

“Pizza rolls are the Italian version of Fruit Gushers”

“Never play tennis with a cymbal. It makes a terrible racket”

“‘Iced coffee’ sounds cool but ‘cold coffee’ sounds gross”

“Black olives matter”

“An epidemiologist, an ICU doctor and a scientist all walk into a bar…” (bar joke)

“White bread will now be referred to as ‘privilege loaf’”

“The first rule of Mime Club is: You do not talk about Mime Club”

“A virologist, an epidemiologist and a scientist walk into a bar…” (bar joke)

“A meatball sub is basically just an Italian taco”

“Olives matter”

“I don’t skinny dip. I chunky dunk”

“We don’t skinny dip. We chunky dunk”

“The first rule of Mime Club goes without saying”

Glizzy (hot dog)

“Practice safe six” (six feet apart social distancing)

“I have a condition that prevents me from staying home or wearing a mask. It’s called freedom”

Glizzy Gladiator

“I have a condition that prevents me from wearing a mask. It’s called freedom”

“Facebook is cool because you can say something to no one in particular and offend everyone”

“If your coffee order requires more than four words, you’re part of the problem”

“You don’t realize how hard you chew until you bite the inside of your cheek”

“Social media is cool because you can say something to no one in particular and offend everyone”

“We didn’t order anything from Amazon yesterday so the UPS guy knocked on our door…”

“Last night, a guy tried to stab me with a butter knife. He said I was toast”

“The pulley is the most egotistical of all machines. It’s always the center of a tension”

“What does a pulley like the best about its position? It’s the center of a tension”

“Mixing and matching gummy bear brands? That’s polygummy”

“Dear Autocorrect, No one uses the word ‘ducking,’ absolutely no one”

Polygummy (polygamy + gummy bear)

“Thank you for calling the incontinence hotline. Please hold”

“Dear Apple, No one uses the word ‘ducking,’ absolutely no one”

“Corona virus explained in craft terms: You and 9 friends are crafting. 1 is using glitter”

Safe Six or #SafeSix (six feet apart social distancing)

“I’m allergic to food. I break out in fat”

Coronadulting (coronavirus + adulting)

Coronadult (coronavirus + adult)

“A soft-boiled egg is the lava cake of eggs”

Cycology (study of bicycles)

“I told my cycologist about you”

Cycologist (spinning instructor)

“One tectonic plate bumped into another and said, ‘Sorry, my fault’”

“The goal of wearing masks is to not have to wear masks”

Cycologist (someone who rides or repairs bicycles)

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