A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006. Now a Popeyes fast food restaurant on Google Maps.

Recent entries:
“Instead of ‘British Summer Time’ and ‘Greenwich Mean Time’ we should just call them ‘Oven Clock Correct Time’...” (3/28)
“Has anyone here ever drank a pint of tequila? I know it’s a long shot” (3/28)
“A pint of tequila? That’s a long shot” (3/28)
“The U.S. should add three more states. Because 53 is a prime number. Then they can truly be one nation, indivisible” (3/28)
Entry in progress—BP4 (3/28)
More new entries...

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“Hummus is Mediterranean guacamole”

“Hummus is just Greek guacamole”

“Hummus is just Jewish guacamole”

“Guacamole is just avocado hummus”

“Hummus is just chickpea guacamole”

“Pesto is just Italian guacamole”

“Guacamole is just Mexican pesto”

“Marinara sauce is just Italian salsa”

“Vegetable soup is just a hot, wet salad”

“What’s white and annoying at breakfast?”/“An avalanche.”

“A stir fry is just a hot salad”

“I miss being able to raw dog oxygen”

“What kind of greens do chickens eat?”/“Bok bok bok choy.”

“The truth will set you free, but first it will shatter your illusions”

“The truth shall set you free, but first it will shatter your illusions”

#NotMyGroundhog

I’ve got a hunch that I don’t have any money left over after paying for college. It’s all intuition”

“What do you call a book written in prison?”/“Context.”

Raw Dog Oxygen (breathing without a face mask)

“Why can’t you carry unlimited pickles in video games?”/“You’re over-cucumbered.”

“I’m in a bad place right now. Not mentally. I just live in the United States”

“I’m in a bad place right now. Not mentally. I just live in New Jersey”

“I’m in a bad place right now. Not emotionally. I’m just at work”

“Popcorn is a steamed vegetable”

“I’m in a bad place right now. Not mentally. Just New York”

“I’m in a bad place right now. Not mentally. I’m just at work”

“Last month, I cut my energy bill in half. Didn’t work, though. I still had to pay the full amount”

“What’s a chicken’s favorite vegetable?”/“Bok bok bok choy.”

“A Nestle Crunch bar is beans and rice”

“I’m in a good place right now. Not emotionally. I’m just at the liquor store”

“Popcorn is just a vehicle for butter and salt”

“Popcorn is just a vehicle for eating butter”

“My bathroom light just went out. I wonder where it’s going”

“My kitchen light just went out. I have no idea where it’s going”

“If more government is the answer, then it was a really stupid question”

“My bedroom light just went out. I have no idea where it’s going”

“You come from dust, you return to dust. That’s why I don’t dust. It could be someone I know”

“Risotto is the most pasta-like rice. Orzo is the most rice-like pasta”

“Orzo is pasta masquerading as rice. Risotto is rice masquerading as pasta”

“A Covid nurse asked me if I’ve had a sudden loss of taste. I told her I always dress like this”

“Risotto is Italian porridge”

CrapChute (BitChute nickname)

“We trade real labor for fake money to pay fraudulent taxes on stuff we don’t own”

“Republicans are red, Democrats are blue, neither one of them gives a fuck about you”

“Risotto is like night time porridge with cheese in it”

“Risotto is just savory rice porridge”

“Homework is mandatory unpaid overtime for school children”

“Homework is the school’s version of unpaid overtime”

“I will take you down to Chinatown!”

“Risotto is just dinner porridge”

“A knish is just a mashed potato Hot Pocket”

“Knishes are Jewish Hot Pockets”

“Republicans are red, Democrats are blue, neither one gives a damn about you”

“Republicans are red, Democrats are blue, neither one gives a shit about you”

“My sex life is like COVID-19. I don’t have COVID-19”

“If they can’t kill you, they will try and kill your credibility”

“My dad’s been suffering from seizures. So far, they’ve taken his car, his house and his boat”

“Anybody can make a baby, but you need a license to fish”

“Can’t believe they let just anyone make babies but you gotta have a license to fucking fish”

“It might be called social media, but all I do is share memes and ignore people”

“There is no greater disease than fear; and there is no greater threat than those who weaponize it”

“Roses are red, violets are blue, taxation is theft, and inflation is, too!”

“Roses are red. Violets are blue. Taxation is theft. The state’s robbing you”

“Snails are just a vehicle for garlic and butter”

“You will be happier if you will give people a bit of your heart rather than a piece of your mind”

“Spaghetti is just Italian lo mein”

“What do you call a funny jar of mayonnaise?”/“LMAYO.”

“Lo mein is just Chinese spaghetti”

“Lobster is just a vehicle for butter”

“What happened when the two bullets got married?”/“They had a BB.”

“Roses are red, violets are blue, taxation is theft, and tariffs are, too”

“Music is how we decorate time”

“Anarchy doesn’t mean out of control. It means out of their control”

“Art is how we decorate space. Music is how we decorate time”

“Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife”

Cracker Barrel Philosophy

“What do you call funny mayonnaise?”/“LMAYO.”

“What’s the difference between a lawyer and a duck?” (lawyer joke)

“What do you call a laughing jar of mayonnaise?”/“LMAYO.”

“Hot sauce is just angry ketchup”

Cracker Barrel Humor

Cracker Barrel Philosopher

Cracker Barrel Humorist

“Don’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm”

“Those who have the privilege to know, have the duty to act”

“Hot sauce is just spicy ketchup”

“You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm”

“Those who pay taxes, pay attention”

“Putting salt on your food is technically just eating rocks”

“People who pay, pay attention”

“Hot sauce is just Mexican ketchup”

“Hot sauce is just ketchup for grownups”

“Hot sauce is just ketchup for adults”

“Hot sauce is just edgy ketchup”

Pandemicrat (pandemic + bureaucrat)

“What do you play 4D chess on?”/“A chesseract!”

Coronatarian (coronavirus + vegetarian)

Pandemocrat (pandemic + Democrat)

Covidian (Covid + -ian)

Coronatarian (coronavirus + authoritarian)

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