A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006. Now a Popeye's fast food restaurant on Google Maps.

Recent entries:
Entry in progress—BP (4/13)
Entry in progress—BP (4/13)
Entry in progress—BP (4/13)
“If the only job you can get is to teach the same subject you graduated at, it’s a pyramid scheme” (4/13)
Entry in progress—BP (4/13)
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“What goes up and down without moving?"/"A staircase.”

“Co-Vid would be a much better name for Zoom”

“What goes up and down stairs without moving?"/"A carpet.”

“If Texas saw many, many more tornadoes, it would be called “Vortexas‘“

“What goes up and down at the same time?"/"Stairs.”

“How long before Manwich is deemed offensive and called gender neutral meat sauce?”

“Life and beer are very similar. Chill for best results”

“What goes up and down, but doesn’t move?"/"A staircase.”

“Life and beer are very similar. For best results—chill”

“The main ingredient in hand sanitizer is paranoia”

“I wanna guac & roll all night, and margarita every day”

“If money can’t buy love, then why do dating sites charge?”

“Just got kicked out of the hospital for telling the Covid patients to stay positive”

Jabits Center (Javits Center used as a vaccination site)

“If money can’t buy you love, then why do dating websites charge?”

“I wanna guac and roll all night, and patty every day” (guacamole burger)

“I wanna guac and roll all night, and salsa every day”

“I wanna guac and roll all night, and party every day”

JAVax (Javits Center used as a vaccination site; Javits + vax)

“If Mr. & Mrs. Potato Head are no longer male and female, does this mean no more tater tots?”

“Life is a tornado and I’m just a cow being spun around for cinematic value”

“Whoever named them missiles wasn’t very optimistic”

“I will not wear it on my face. I will not wear it any place…” (anti-mask poem)

“What do you call a stupid fish?"/"A dumb bass.”

“My girlfriend broke up with me for being too ‘un-American.’ I saw it coming from a kilometre away”

“Dismay: to insult the fifth month”

“Whoever named them ‘missiles’ wasn’t being very optimistic”

“The government just banned the fifth month of the calendar year. Everyone was dismayed”

“Every year Santa delivers presents to kids based on what their parents’ income is”

“Someone removed the fifth month from all my calendars. I am really dismayed”

“Welcome to Facebook. A person who does not understand humor will contact you shortly”

“You know you’re old when you clean to the music you used to drink to”

“Did you know that 2-3 vodkas per day can reduce your risk of giving a shit?”

“When you compare gummy worms to gummy bears, it paints a horrific picture of gummy universe”

“Welcome to Twitter. A person who does not understand humor will contact you shortly”

“What will you actually find at the end of every rainbow?"/"The letter W.”

“I’m an English major. You do the math”

“Welcome to social media. A person who does not understand humor will contact you shortly”

“Gummy bears are much smaller than gummy worms in the gummy universe”

“Hold all my calls. Someone on the internet disagrees with one of my tweets”

“I’m going to have a quesadilla."/"Really, a whole case of them?”

“is a dancing pig, shaken bacon?”

“Why do they call it a hot water heater when it actually heats cold water?”

“What do you call a dancing pig?"/"Shakin’ bacon.”

“Iced coffee must have been created by a mother who gave up on re-heating her coffee…”

“Grocery stores should have baskets in the middle of the store…”

“What’s shakin’ bacon?”

“Quesadilla? Better make it one dilla. I don’t think I could eat a whole case”

“How do you shock chicken broth?"/"With a soup-rise.”

“What do you call a go-go dancing pig?"/"Shakin’ bacon.”

“People who like to drink know when liquor stores close. Alcoholics know when liquor stores open”

“What did the toast say to the butter on Valentine’s Day?"/“‘You’re my butter half.‘“

“Knowledge isn’t free. You gotta pay attention”

“Knowledge is free. You just gotta pay attention”

“‘Party Animals’ know when the liquor stores close. Alcoholics know when the liquor stores open”

“What did the bread say to the butter?/’You’re my butter half.‘“

“Knowledge isn’t free. You have to pay attention”

“My professor told me that I’m failing ethics class. I slid $20 and asked, ‘What about now?‘“

“If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck… Fact checkers say it’s a squirrel”

“I’m offended by bills, can we cancel them!? Isn’t that how it works now?”

“I don’t like Monday mornings, or people who like Monday mornings. Or Mondays. Or mornings”

“Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?” (lawyer joke)

“This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat”

“No one wants to hear your opinion. They want to hear their opinion coming out of your mouth”

“Liberals don’t want to hear your opinion. They want to hear their opinion coming out of your mouth”

“People don’t want to hear your opinion. They want to hear their opinion coming out of your mouth”

“Not sure why the FBI is mostly guys because a girl’s ability to find shit out is unmatched”

“I don’t like Monday morning people. Or Mondays. Or mornings. Or people”

“Not sure why the FBI is mostly guys because a woman’s ability to find shit out is unmatched”

“Water is the grown-up drink”

“If you’re trying to ban books, you’re probably not the good guys”

“Here’s to good women: May we know them. May we be them. May we raise them”

“Did you know that 2-3 vodkas per day can reduce your risk of giving a damn?”

“Name one time in human history when the group fighting to censor speech were the good guys”

“Here’s to strong women: May we know them. May we be them. May we raise them”

“Eating McDonald’s is like cleaning a toilet with your mouth”

“Since Facebook claims ownership of everything you post on their website, I’m uploading my bills”

“A jellyfish’s mouth is also its anus. The politician of the sea”

“Eating at McDonald’s is like cleaning a toilet with your mouth”

“You usually don’t know how poorly you swept until you start mopping”

“Did you know that 6 to 8 beers per day can reduce your risk of giving a shit?”

“Oedipus and Midas walk into a bar…” (bar joke)

“Restaurants always use ‘crispy’ as opposed to ‘fried’ to make it sound healthier”

“Oedipus, Aphrodite and Midas walk into a bar…” (bar joke)

“Did you know that 2-3 shots of tequila per day can reduce your risk of giving a shit?”

“I’m walking on a treadmill. I named it Sunshine. I’m walking on Sunshine”

“What’s the most expensive video-streaming service at this time?"/"University.”

“Did you know that 10-60 minutes of yoga per day can reduce your risk of giving a shit?”

“Since I bought a solar-powered treadmill, I’ve been walking on sunshine”

“Did you know that 2-3 glasses of wine per day can reduce your risk of giving a shit?”

Fatdonalds (fat + McDonald’s)

“We must never question the government, said no founding father, ever”

“I just strangled a mime with a cordless phone”

“Trust the government, said no founding father, ever”

“Today is the first day of the rest of your life”

“My career as a street fighter didn’t last very long. I broke my hand punching a curb”

“Can you strangle a mime with a cordless phone?”

“We are the unorganized truth, fighting an organized lie”

“I lost my Tic Tacs today. Now, I’m looking for replacemints”

“Today is the first day of the rest of your life. But so was yesterday..”

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