A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006. Now a Popeyes fast food restaurant on Google Maps.

Recent entries:
“Be the tequila, not the lime” (3/28)
“I am the tequila, not the lime” (3/28)
“You are the tequila, not the lime” (3/28)
Crun (croissant + cinnamon bun) (3/28)
“Don’t be a chaser, be the one who gets chased. You are the tequila, not the lime” (3/28)
More new entries...

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“A SQL query walks into a bar…” (bar joke)

“An SQL query walks into a bar…” (bar joke)

“A wise person once said, ‘Fuck this shit’”

“I got fired from my lawn maintenance job. I just wasn’t cutting it”

“A wise man once said, ‘Fuck this shit’”

“A wise woman once said ‘fuck this shit’ and she lived happily ever after”

“What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?”/“A carrot.”

“Are we still allowed to play pool….since we use a white ball to hit the colored balls”

“May your devastating winter blues give way to your debilitating spring allergies”

“Why can’t skeletons play church music?”/“They have no organs.”

“A bagel is just a healthy donut”

“A bagel is just a healthy doughnut”

“If you’re afraid to speak out against tyranny, you’re already a slave”

“Wanna know how you can tell when the truth is being told? Facebook blocks it…”

“There is no WiFi in the forest, but I promise you will find a better connection”

“How can you tell the truth is being told? Facebook blocks it, Twitter deletes it…”

“If you are afraid to speak out against tyranny, you are already a slave”

“A bagel is just a boring doughnut”

“Bagels are just healthy doughnuts”

“Bagels are just savory donuts”

“Bagels are just breakfast donuts”

“A bagel is just a boring donut”

“Bagels are just boring donuts”

“Donuts are just dessert bagels”

“Bagels are just boring doughnuts”

“A doughnut is just a dessert bagel”

“A donut is just a dessert bagel”

“Doughnuts are just dessert bagels”

“Bagels are just healthy donuts”

“Surround yourself with people who have issues. Because people who have issues always have booze”

“Why isn’t ‘female’ pronounced like ‘tamale’?”

“What if you pronounced ‘female” like ‘tamale’?”

“What room do ghosts avoid?”/“The living room.”

“What room do ghosts not go in?”/“The living room.”

“I have one cup of coffee each morning just to start the day off right. The other ones…”

“Surround yourself with people who have issues. Because people who have issues also have alcohol”

“What room do ghosts stay out of?”/“The living room.”

“Surround yourself with people who have issues. Because people who have issues always have alcohol”

“Taxes are the price you pay to avoid being kidnapped by the government”

“What is something that tastes better than it smells?”/“A tongue.”

“This spring I’m looking for someone who has the same allergies as I do”

“Here’s my take on high school reunions. If I haven’t contacted you in the last 20 years…”

“Sorry we’re closed but still awesome” (store sign)

“This spring I’m looking for that special someone who has the same allergies I do”

“What do you call a laundromat for pigs?”/“Hogwash.”

“Dusted once. It came back. Not falling for that again”

“I need a coffee so strong that I forget my problems and possibly my name, too”

“I drank so much coffee today that I accidentally believed in myself”

“What tastes better than it smells?”/“Your tongue.”

“If I wanted advice from someone who chases a ball, I’d ask my dog”

“I dusted once. It came back. I’m not falling for that again”

“I’m not too good at push ups or sit ups, but fuck ups? Let me tell you”

“I’ll have the chef’s salad.”/“That’s so rude. Just order your own!”

“I’m not good at push ups, pull ups, or sit ups. I’m pretty good at fuck ups though”

“You can catch more flies with honey, but you can catch more honeys being fly”

“Open box before eating pizza” (pizza box instructions)

“You can catch more flies with honey, but you can catch more honeys by being fly”

“Where do you park a camel?”/“In a Camelot.”

“Fuck ups are easier to do than sit ups and push ups”

“Taxes are the price we pay to avoid going to jail”

“Taxes are the price we pay to avoid ass-rape in prison”

“Taxes are the price you pay to avoid going to prison”

“Taxes are the price you pay to avoid being murdered for not paying taxes”

“Come in. We are awesome” (store sign)

“We’re closed but still awesome” (store sign)

“Come in, we’re awesome” (store sign)

“Closed but still awesome” (store sign)

“Taxes are the price we pay to avoid prison”

“Come in, we’re open and awesome” (store sign)

“I have a disease called it’s nice out so I’m drinking”

“Bagels are just savoury doughnuts”

“Just received my master’s degree in garden fencing. I’m now a post graduate”

Inspiration of Washington Square (nickname of model Audrey Munson)

“Where should you never take a dog?”/“To the flea market.”

“Swedish Fish jellybeans is, in reality, Swedish Roe”

“I hate this time of the year. It’s like winter and spring are fighting over custody”

“An ice cream man’s success is literally defined by how well they can lure children”

Buzzetti

Venus of MacDougal Alley (nickname of model Audrey Munson)

“Chicken soup is just bird tea”

“Mondays are fine. It’s your life that sucks”

“Chicken stock is just bird tea”

“Rats will gain immortality before humans because whatever we come up with will be tested on them”

“Bagels are just savoury donuts”

“What do programmers and cats have in common?” (joke)

“Remember, Mondays are fine. It’s your life that sucks”

“Chicken broth is bird tea”

“The world’s not that bad. It’s your government that sucks”

“Mondays aren’t so bad. It’s your job that sucks”

“Bagels are just savory doughnuts”

“Was given a bag of peanuts blessed by the Pope, but gave them away because I hate religious nuts”

“I’m so broke, I gotta fart to get a cent in my pocket”

“I’d like to apologize to anyone I’ve not yet offended. Please be patient”

“I’m so broke, I have to fart to have a scent in my pocket”

“I’m ready for the week! I got my umbrella, my flip flops, turtle neck, my suntan lotion…”

“How do parents lose their kids in a mall?! Seriously. Any tips welcome”

“Texas: I’m ready for the week! I got my umbrella, my flip flops, turtle neck, my suntan lotion…

“I’m so broke, I have to fart to have a cent in my pocket!”

“I’m ready for the rest of this week! I have my umbrella, my flip flops, my mittens…”

“Work ever kick your ass so bad that you just drive home in silence?”

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