A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006. Now a Popeyes fast food restaurant on Google Maps.

Recent entries:
“Don’t be a chaser, be the one who gets chased. You are the tequila, not the lime” (3/28)
“Shoutout to ATM fees for making me buy my own money” (3/27)
“Thank you, ATM fees, for allowing me to buy my own money” (3/27)
“Anyone else boil the kettle twice? Just in case the boiling water has gone cold…” (3/27)
“Shout out to ATM fees for making me buy my own money” (3/27)
More new entries...

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Trunk Song

Big Apple (Fort Worth, TX barbecue restaurant, 1941-1968)

“‘Fixin’ to’ is the official verb of Texas”

“‘Fixin’ to’ is the national verb of Texas”

“Big Apple—the major tracks of the country” (1933)

“‘Fixin’ to’ is the state verb of Texas”

“It’s unsticking your thighs from plastic chairs season”

“Raise your hand if you try to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so bystanders don’t hear yo

“What’s the best kind of pan to make sushi in?”/“Japan.”

“Dance like nobody’s watching. Drink like you don’t have to work tomorrow”

“Y’all ever try to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so bystanders don’t hear you…”

“What pan is the best to make sushi in?”/“Japan.”

“Dance like nobody’s watching. Drink on Sundays like you don’t have to go to work in the morning”

“You ever try to breath quieter while walking up a hill so bystanders don’t hear you…”

“I don’t think inside the box. I don’t think outside the box either. I don’t know where the box is”

“Not only do I dance like nobody is watching, I also drink as if I don’t work in the morning”

“My least favorite California city is Austin, Texas”

“Without freedom of speech, we wouldn’t know who the idiots are”

“One great thing about Louisiana heat: You can guarantee no one is waiting in your back seat”

Scariant (scare/scary + variant)

The Big Apple Shopping Bazaar (Delray Beach, FL, 2013-present)

“Without freedom of speech, we would never know who the idiots are”

“Don’t let anyone who hasn’t been in your shoes, tell you how to tie your laces”

“Hello, poison control? I just drank unsweet tea”

“It’s called summer water. It’s just like normal water, but has margarita in it”

“My favorite California city is Austin, Texas”

“Hello, poison control? I just drank unsweetened tea”

“Hello, poison control? I just drank unsweet tea”

“One great thing about Texas heat: You can guarantee no one is waiting in your back seat”

“People are like tacos. The good stuff is on the inside”

“What’s the difference between George Washington and a duck?” (riddle)

“What’s the main difference between a duck and George Washington?” (riddle)

“What happens twice in a week, once in a year, and never in a day?” (riddle)

“What is it that occurs once in a minute, twice in a week, and yet only once in a year?” (riddle)

“I am first on earth, second in heaven. I appear twice in a week, once in a year. What am I?”

“I come at the beginning of end and at the end of time. What am I?” (riddle)

“Don’t let anyone who hasn’t been in your shoes tell you how to walk”

“Don’t let nobody who ain’t been in your shoes, tell you how to tie your laces”

“Never let a soul who hasn’t walked in your shoes tell you how to tie your laces”

“Remember kids, don’t play with fireworks. Leave it to the adults who have been drinking”

“Good ideas don’t require force”

“The beginning of eternity. The end of time and space” (riddle)

“A great way to protect yourself from the sun is drinking wine in the shade”

“Six allowed at Thanksgiving but 30 for a funeral. I will be holding a funeral for my pet turkey”

“Six allowed at Christmas but 30 for a funeral. I will be holding a funeral for my pet turkey”

“I drank so much tequila last night that I woke up speaking Spanish”

“I drank so much tequila last night I woke up with a Mexican accent”

“Great ideas don’t require force or coercion”

Texaholic (Texas + -aholic)

“Great ideas don’t require force or subsidies”

“Chips and salsa for breakfast because it’s Mexico somewhere”

“Never depend on someone else to make you happy, that’s what alcohol is for”

“Never depend on someone else to make you happy, that’s what beer is for”

“Margaritas because it’s Mexico somewhere”

“Tequila because it’s Mexico somewhere”

“Tequila shots because it’s Mexico somewhere”

“It’s July 8th and people are still shooting off fireworks. One almost caught our Christmas tree”

“Never depend on someone else to make you happy, that’s what wine is for”

“I’m so old, I remember when vodka only came in vodka flavor”

“If you’re not in my circle of trust, you’re in my triangle of suspicion or rhombus of doubt”

“Vodka is karaoke fuel”

“Houston is actually an hour away from Houston”

“Mi casa es su casa but mi taco es mi taco”

“Whiskey is karaoke fuel”

Palermo Pizza (Palermo Slice)

“Mi casa es su casa pero mi taco es mi taco”

“Houston is an hour away from Houston”

“How do you support a werewolf’s YouTube channel?”/“Lycan subscribe.”

“Mi taco es mi taco”

“Grandpa leapt around in his undies on the 4th. It was his In-Depends-Dance Day”

“Alcohol is karaoke fuel”

“Houston is two hours away from Houston”

“Wine is karaoke fuel”

“Beer is karaoke fuel”

“In the South, shade is just diet sun”

“In Texas, the shade is just diet sun”

“August is just gold wind”

“The employee shortage is so bad that long haired freaky people can now apply”

“I had to walk to school uphill, both ways! – M.C. Escher”

“This morning I called my mom by ‘birth giver’ and she replied ‘yes, financial drain?’”

“Why has no one named Dominick opened a sandwich shop called Dom’s Subs?”

“Never hint to a printer that you’re in a rush. Those bastards smell fear”

“If a tomato is a fruit, then ketchup is a jam”

“I want to open a BDSM-themed sandwich shop called Dom’s Subs”

“How does an apothecary pleasure his wife?”/“Elixir.”

“Don’t let your printer know you’re in a hurry. They smell fear”

“If a tomato is a fruit, then tomato sauce is a jam”

“Why are there no dominatrixes at sandwich shops?”/“Because they’re all subs.”

“What’s a zombie’s favorite weather?”/“Brainstorms.”

“Indian restaurants are naan profit businesses while Vietnamese restaurants are pho profit”

“If a tomato is a fruit, then pizza sauce is a jam”

Naked Run (Naked Running)

“Texas weather just be throwing out temperatures like Powerball numbers”

“Lobster tail and beer. Three of my favorite things”

“So ‘naked running’ apparently means no music, no watch, no GPS… Now they tell me”

“Florida weather be throwing out temperatures like Powerball numbers”

“It’s not hoarding if it’s wine. It’s a collection”

“Voting is like going to the movies. You suspend disbelief in a world of ridiculous fantasy…”

“Lobster tail & beer. My three favorite things”

Naked Running (Naked Run)

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