A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006. Now a Popeyes fast food restaurant on Google Maps.

Recent entries:
“Dietary Fact: If you drink a gallon of water daily, you won’t have time to be in anyone’s business” (8/15)
“What does a politician do after he dies?"/"He lies still.” (8/15)
“Nutrition Fact: If you drink a gallon of water a day, you won’t have time for other people’s drama” (8/15)
Sudden Invented Syndrome Syndrome (SISS) (8/15)
“Don’t ask why I need an AR-15. Ask why an IRS agent needs one” (8/15)
More new entries...

A  B  C  D  E  F  G  H  I  J  K  L  M  N  O  P  Q  R  S  T  U  V  W  X  Y  Z


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“It’s okay if you fall apart sometimes. Tacos fall apart and we still love them”

“Diner: Waiter, I’m in a hurry! Will the pancakes be long? Waiter: No, they’ll be round.”

“Today’s date is 7/11, which is convenient”

“New York weather just be throwing out temperatures like it’s picking Powerball numbers”

“Procrastidrinking: The art of drinking instead of doing something else you should be doing”

“Vegan food ain’t that bad once you add meat and cheese to it”

“Vegan food isn’t that bad once you add meat and cheese to it”

“Cleaning the house while your kids are home is like brushing your teeth while eating an Oreo”

“Brunch (noun): the socially acceptable excuse for day drinking”

Procrastidrinking (procrastinating + drinking)

“Cleaning the house with children in it is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreo cookies”

“Do you shake the gas pump handle when you’re done, or are you rich?”

“Cleaning with kids in the house is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos”

“Has anybody ever actually gotten salmonella from eating raw cookie dough or…?”

“My backup plan is just my original plan but with more caffeine”

“My backup plan is just my original plan but with more alcohol”

“My backup plan is just my original plan but with more tequila”

“My backup plan is just my original plan but with more vodka”

“My backup plan is just my original plan but with more coffee”

“My backup plan is just my original plan but with more rum”

“My backup plan is just my original plan but with more beer”

“I went to a buffet restaurant in Northwest Canada the other day. It was all Yukon eat”

“When a drummer comes out of retirement, there are repercussions”

“Canadian buffet. All Yukon eat”

“My backup plan is just my original plan but with more whiskey”

“My backup plan is just my original plan but with more wine”

Korean Corn Dog

Big Apple Pancake House (Chicago Heights and Joliet, IL, 1980-present)

“We need to have a ‘Bring Your Wine to Work Day‘“ (BYWWD)

“What do you call a spicy Japanese pizza demon?"/"Pepper oni.”

“What’s a volcano’s favorite dessert?"/"BakLava.”

“Did you know about the Japanese sausage demon? The Pepper Oni”

“What degree do you need to write parking tickets?"/"Fine arts.”

“I woke up, got out of bed, and had coffee. I think that’s enough for one day”

“CDC said y’all can start using your blinkers”

“A breakfast of champions means something entirely different to a cannibal”

Clot Shot (#ClotShot)

“Sparkling water sounds way more delicious than it actually is”

“Elbow macaroni implies the existence of knee macaroni”

“Can I call you back in a few mimosas?”

“Can I call you back in a few margaritas?”

Twitmo (Twitter + Gitmo)

“Sparkling water sounds so pure, so aesthetically pleasing. but in actuality? It is…repulsive”

“Why did the cannibal eat an Olympian every morning?"/"So he could have a breakfast of champions.”

“There’s elbow macaroni, but no knuckle macaroni”

“Government can’t profit from self-sufficient people”

“I’ve never seen a cave drawing of a salad. We eat meat!”

“What did the broccoli say to the getaway driver?"/"Floret.”

Newshacks or Newshax (Newsmax nickname)

“Communism: You masked for it”

“Governments & corporations can’t profit from self-sufficient people”

“We have never seen a cave drawing of a salad. We eat meat!”

“Gun rights are women’s rights”

“Governments can’t profit from self-sufficient people”

“We have never found a cave painting of a salad”

Newshax or Newshacks (Newsmax nickname)

Newshacks or Newshax (Newsmax TV nickname)

Newshax or Newshacks (Newsmax TV nickname)

“I am a free citizen and I have all the licenses and permits to prove it”

“I live in a free country. I have all the licenses and permits to prove it”

“I am a free American. I have all the licenses and permits to prove it”

Newsmin or Newsminimum (Newsmax nickname)

Pingdemic (ping + pandemic)

One America Nonsense Network (One America News Network or OANN nickname)

grOANN (One America News Network or OANN nickname)

NoNewsMax (Newsmax TV nickname)

Breitbarf (Breitbart News + barf)

Only Assholes News Network (One America News Network or OANN nickname)

Newsminimum or Newsmin (Newsmax nickname)

OANonsense (One America News Network or OANN nickname)

NoNewsMax (Newsmax nickname)

NewSmacks (Newsmax nickname)

Newsminimum or Newsmin (Newsmax TV nickname)

“The recipe for today: One cup cluster, Two cups fuck”

Newsmin or Newsminimum (Newsmax TV nickname)

NewSmacks (Newsmax TV nickname)

“I’ve got a friend who reckons he can make high cuisine out of stock cubes. What an Oxo moron”

“What do you call someone who can’t make stock from a cube?"/"An Oxo moron.”

“The pessimist sees an obstacle in every opportunity; the optimist sees an opportunity…”

ONAN (One America News Network or OANN nickname)

“A pessimist is one who makes difficulties of his opportunities…”

“What do you get when you put cabbage in a wood chipper?"/"Slaw dust!”

“Exercise is more difficult the more you need it”

“Rule Number 1: Fuck what they think”

“A bad stock trader is called an ‘Oxo moron‘“

“Paychecks and weekends have a lot in common. They are short and don’t last long enough”

“A pessimist is one who sees a disaster in every opportunity. An optimist sees opportunity…”

WingNutDaily (WorldNetDaily or WND nickname)

Shitefart (shite + fart, a Breitbart News nickname)

Blue Anon

“What do you call a musical instrument made of gelatin?"/"A jello!”

Shitebarf (shite + barf, a Breitbart News nickname)

InfoWarts (InfoWars + warts)

Daily Crapper (Daily Caller nickname)

Shitebart (shite + Breitbart News)

“What did the worm say when he fell in a plate of spaghetti?"/"Orgy!”

“From a worm’s point of view, a plate of spaghetti is an orgy”

“It’s not the government’s job to protect my health. Its job is to protect my rights”

“Eating too much cake is the deadly sin of gluttony. But not eating too much pie…”

“The drinker’s definition of LOL: Low On Liquor”

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