A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006. Now a Popeyes fast food restaurant on Google Maps.

Recent entries:
“Instead of ‘British Summer Time’ and ‘Greenwich Mean Time’ we should just call them ‘Oven Clock Correct Time’...” (3/28)
“Has anyone here ever drank a pint of tequila? I know it’s a long shot” (3/28)
“A pint of tequila? That’s a long shot” (3/28)
“The U.S. should add three more states. Because 53 is a prime number. Then they can truly be one nation, indivisible” (3/28)
“My love for the truth outweighs my fear of offending you” (3/28)
More new entries...

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Shitebart (shite + Breitbart News)

“What did the worm say when he fell in a plate of spaghetti?”/“Orgy!”

“From a worm’s point of view, a plate of spaghetti is an orgy”

“It’s not the government’s job to protect my health. Its job is to protect my rights”

“Eating too much cake is the deadly sin of gluttony. But not eating too much pie…”

“The drinker’s definition of LOL: Low On Liquor”

“You might be a hillbilly if you think ‘lol’ means low on liquor”

“I am a survivalist. I drank my morning coffee out of a soup bowl because there were no clean cups”

“A worm crawls out of a bowl of spaghetti and says, ‘That was some orgy!’”

“I hear proofreading is being abolished. Is nothing scared?”

“You might be a redneck if you think ‘lol’ means low on liquor”

“Remember when you would get kicked out of a nightclub for experimenting with untested drugs?”

“How do you fix a broken tuba?”/“With a tuba glue.”

“How does a non-binary ninja kill someone?”/“They/Them.”

Convid (con + COVID-19)

“Life is short—eat dessert first!”

“If you want your water to taste better, just add coffee”

“I finally found a diet plan that really works. It’s called ‘The Price of Food’”

“An easy way to make your water taste better is to simply add coffee”

“How does a non-binary samurai kill people?”/“They/Them.”

“A bartender walks into a bar…” (bar joke)

“It’s only moaning if it’s from the Moan region of France. Otherwise it’s just sparkling whine”

“It’s only poetry if it’s from the Poet region of France. Otherwise it’s just sparkling whine”

Maskist

Muzzletard (face muzzle + retard)

“What do you use to fix a broken tuba?”/“A tuba glue.”

Jabbo (vaccine jab)

“How do you fix a broken sousaphone?”/“With a tuba glue.”

“Country music is just land shanties”

“Why isn’t holy water used in vaccines?”/“Because you can’t take the lord’s name in vein.”

Boomer Remover or Boomer Doomer (COVID-19 nickname)

“It’s only sour grapes if it’s from the Sourgrape region. Otherwise it’s just sparkling whine”

“What do you get when the sunrise bends over?”/“The crack of dawn.”

Clownhall or Clown Hall (clown + town hall meeting)

Clownhall (Townhall nickname)

Boomer Doomer or Boomer Remover (COVID-19 nickname)

Clown Hall or Clownhall (clown + town hall meeting)

“Quit complaining about jury duty. You’re getting excused from work to go judge a stranger…”

“What’s better than enchiladas?”/“n+1 chiladas.”

“At this point, conspiracy theories might as well be called spoiler alerts”

“[Driving] Wife: You missed a right. Me: Thanks babe – you MRS right.”

“I only drink beer 3 days a week. Yesterday, today & tomorrow”

“How do you convert an atheist to a theist?”/“Just give them a little space.”

“I only drink bourbon 3 days a week. Yesterday, today & tomorrow”

“What’s the best Olympic sport?”/“Diving, hands down.”

“I only drink whiskey 3 days a week. Yesterday, today & tomorrow”

“If you drink vodka & orange juice from the skull of a guy named Phil— Philip’s head screwdriver”

“I only drink wine 3 days a week. Yesterday, today & tomorrow”

“What do you call a magician who’s good at cooking?”/“A sauceror.”

“Did you know all fishermen are Marxists? Because the sea’s the means of production”

“I only drink coffee 3 days a week. Yesterday, today & tomorrow”

Clottery (blood clot + lottery)

“You comply because you want it to end, but it’s because of your compliance that it may never end”

“S.I.N.G.L.E. Stress Is Now Gone Life’s Easier”

“You comply because you want it to end, but it’s because of your compliance that it will never end”

“You comply because you want it to end, but it doesn’t end because you comply”

Jabby Dodger or Jabbydodger (vaccination jab + dodger)

Jabcab (ambulance)

Clotshop (vaccination site)

Jabbydodger or Jabby Dodger (vaccination jab + dodger)

Jabbatoir (vaccination site)

“Bubble tea sucks balls”

Vaxtermination (vaccine/vaccination + extermination)

Vaxterminate (vaccine/vaccinate + exterminate)

“What happened when two vampires had a race?”/“They finished neck and neck.”

“Why did the crab cross the road?”/“Just beclaws.”

“Why did the crab cross the road?”/“It didn’t. It used the sidewalk.”

“Why did the hermit crab cross the road?”/“To get to the Shell station.”

“Why did the crab cross the road?”/“To get to the other tide.”

“If you hold a crab up to your ear, you can hear what it’s like to be attacked by a crab”

“Corn is the tracer bullet of the digestive system”

Vaxxism or Vacism or Vaccism or Vaxism

“Shit happens. Get the whiskey”

Vacism or Vaccism or Vaxism or Vaxxism

Vaxist or Vaxxist

“People who like bubble tea suck balls”

Vaccism or Vacism or Vaxism or Vaxxism

Vaxism or Vacism or Vaccism or Vaxxism

Vaxxist or Vaxist

“Shit happens. Get the tequila”

“Shit happens. Get the wine”

“Beef tongue? I could never eat anything that came out of an animal’s mouth. Bring me a boiled egg”

“Don’t count calories, count chemicals”

“There are too many people counting calories and not enough people counting chemicals”

“Pizza is the most important meal of the day”

“Breakfast pizza is the most important meal of the day”

“What do sprinters eat before a race?”/“Nothing, they fast.”

“Why do cows lie when it’s raining?”/“To keep each udder dry.”

“What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises?”/“It becomes daytrogen.”

“What do you after an Apple turns bad?”/“You open windows.”

“What do runners eat before a race?”/“Nothing, they fast.”

“Those who drive like hell are bound to get there”

“Let’s start calling ‘fact checked’ by its real name. Censorship”

“Social media has made too many of you comfortable with disrespecting people…”

“Don’t get your Snickers in a Twix”

“I put my wife’s chocolate bars in other chocolate bar wrappers. It gets her Snickers in a Twix”

“Unmasked. Unmuzzled. Unvaccinated. Unafraid”

“Corn makes whiskey. Wheat makes beer. Grapes make wine. Potatoes make vodka…”

“Sign not in use” (traffic sign)

“Social media made y’all comfortable with disrespecting people & not getting punched in the mouth”

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