“I almost had an ‘I need a guy’ moment, but then I was able to get the wine open”

“Vodka can be mixed with anything, including more vodka”

“Bloody Mary, full of vodka, blessed are you among cocktails”

“If H2O is hot water, then CO2 is cold water and CH2O is sea water”

Oxygin (oxygen + gin)

Hydrogin (hydrogen + gin)

“The beauty of vodka is that it looks like water…”

“H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water”

“I almost had an ‘I need a guy’ moment, but then I was able to get the vodka open”

“Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water”

Southworst Airlines (Southwest Airlines nickname)

Dollar Store of the Sky (Spirit Airlines nickname)

“Beer: So much more than just a breakfast drink”

Break Your Spirit Airlines (Spirit Airlines nickname)

“Bacon is red. Bacon is rough. One strip of bacon is never enough”

“Last night, I wanted to drink coffee. This morning, I am drinking coffee. Follow your dreams!”

Southwaste Airlines (Southwest Airlines nickname)

“Vegetarian bacon is a goddamn hate crime”

“Yesterday I wanted coffee. Now I’m drinking coffee. Follow your dreams, people”

“If money can’t buy happiness, explain motorcycles and beer”

“I’m not drunk, I’m patriotic”

“Whiskey, steak, guns & freedom”

“Three places you can stay for free: in your lane, out of my business and over there”

Cryanair or Cryinair or CryingAir (Ryanair nickname)

“People say elevator music is boring. It’s actually very next-level”

SleezyJet or SleazyJet (easyJet nickname)

“Why do ants not go to church?”/“Because they’re in sects.”

SleazyJet or SleezyJet (easyJet nickname)

“3 places you can stay for free: out my business, out my way and out my face”

“Up the fuck we must wake”

“BBQ, beer, freedom”

“Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Life’s a bitch and coffee’s a must”

“Bourbon: Making ice taste better since 1783”

“Beer, bacon, guns & freedom”

“Most problems can be solved with whiskey or nudity. Or BOTH”

“Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. When life’s a bitch, whiskey’s a must”

“Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Life’s a bitch, and vodka’s a must”

“If you cannot find your dog, open the fridge door. He’s standing right behind you”

“Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Life’s a bitch, a drink is a must”

“The goalposts will keep moving as long as they know you’ll obey”

“Life is better with dogs, coffee & music”

“First coffee and then the world”

“Dogs, coffee, music”

“You made it out of bed! Congratulations! You deserve a coffee for that!”

“Life is better with music, dogs & coffee”

“Coffee and then the world”

“I don’t drink coffee to wake up. I wake up to drink coffee”

“First coffee, then the world”

“Music, dogs, coffee”

“Coffee, then the world”

“The final variant is communism”

“Remember when we used to get our ‘fake news’ from the National Enquirer instead of CNN, NBC…”

Fetashist (feta + fetishist)

Mr. Met And His Journey Through The Big Apple (children’s book by Aimee Aryal, 2008)

Mr. Met And His Journey Through The Big Apple (children’s book by Aimee Aryal, 2008)

“A banana is just a vegetarian sausage”

Lyinair or Lyanair or Lyingair (Ryanair nickname)

Lyingair or Lyanair or Lyinair (Ryanair nickname)

Iso Omena (Finland’s “Big Apple” shopping center, 2001-present)

“Coffee is an energy drink”

“I don’t believe anything the government tells me. Nothing. Zero”

Center for Deranged Communists (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention or CDC nickname)

Cryinair or Cryanair or CryingAir (Ryanair nickname)

Center for Denial and Confusion (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention or CDC nickname)

“Conspiracy theories are like moon landings. They’re all fake”

Center for Democratic Communists (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention or CDC nickname)

Center for Democratic Control (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention or CDC nickname)

CryingAir or Cryanair or Cryinair (Ryanair nickname)

“I have certain rules I live by. My first rule: I don’t believe anything the government tells me”

Lyanair or Lyinair or Lyingair (Ryanair nickname)

“What type of tomato smells best?”/“A Roma.”

“The next Covid variant is communism”

Rockefailure (Rockefeller family + failure)

Rottenschild or Rottenchild (rotten + Rothschild family)

“Peanut butter is the American hummus”

“Voting is the adult version of writing a letter to Santa”

“Cereal is a bread salad with milk dressing”

“The final Covid variant is called communism”

“Peanut butter is America’s hummus”

“The new Covid variant is communism”

“Laws that create criminals without any victim are not laws. They are revenue generators”

Greyhound Bus of the Sky (Spirit Airlines nickname)

“Laws that create criminals without any victims are not laws, but revenue generators”

American Stinker (American Thinker nickname)

“A bean bag is just a boneless sofa”

Bus Station of Airports (LaGuardia Airport nickname)

LaGarbage (LaGuardia Airport nickname)

“Beanbags are boneless sofas”

Greyhound Bus with Wings (Spirit Airlines nickname)

WorstJet (WestJet nickname)

Ziomedia (Zionism/Zionist + media)

“If you’re trying to cut carbs, use a knife”

Aer Fungus or Air Fungus (Aer Lingus nickname)

“Once you’ve seen one rugby joke, you’ve seen a maul”

Sprite Airlines (Spirit Airlines nickname)

Daily BS (Daily Beast nickname)

Air Fungus or Aer Fungus (Aer Lingus nickname)

Daily Least (Daily Beast nickname)

“If you’ve seen one bear attack, you’ve seen a maul”

“The best way to cut carbs is with a knife and fork”