A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006. Now a Popeyes fast food restaurant on Google Maps.

Recent entries:
“Espresso martinis are the Four Lokos of the bourgeoisie” (8/10)
“Espresso martinis are just bougie Four Lokos” (8/10)
“An espresso martini is the rich man’s Four Loko” (8/10)
“An espresso martini is just a classy Four Loko” (8/10)
“An espresso martini is just a Four Loko with a 401k” (8/10)
More new entries...

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“Wasabi is just anime horseradish”

Fung Wah Bus of the Sky (Spirit Airlines nickname)

“Horseradish is just cowboy wasabi”

“American wasabi is just really spicy horseradish dyed green”

“Either you limit government or government limits you”

La Mela Reintegrata or The Apple Made Whole Again (Milan, Italy, 2015-present)

“Bills: paid, Bank account: empty, Working: still, Adulting: sucks, Yee: haw”

Amtrak of the Sky (nickname of various airlines)

Walmart with Wings (nickname of various airlines)

Walmart of the Sky (nickname of various airlines)

“Two crisps are walking down the road…” (Walkers crisps joke)

“What did the Scotsman say when he didn’t have money for his hors d’oeuvre bill?"/“I canape.”

“What kind of truck is never lonely?"/"A pick-up truck.”

“10 out of 10 doctors agree with whoever is paying them”

“Canapé. Scottish for, I don’t have the money”

“80% of arguments happen because someone hasn’t eaten yet”

“10 out of 10 scientists agree with whoever funded them”

“Which military leader knows the most?"/"General Knowledge.”

“80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet”

“10 out of 10 scientists agree with whoever is paying them”

“Sour cream is the mayonnaise of the taco world”

“Dragon fruit are just really flamboyant kiwis”

“Dragon fruit is just flavorless kiwi”

“If you can’t say anything nice, you haven’t had enough coffee”

“Snopes is for dopes”

“Food tastes better when I’m watching TV”

“Sour cream is the mayo of the taco”

“If you can’t say anything nice, you obviously haven’t had your coffee yet”

“Food tastes better when you’re watching TV”

“Sour cream is the mayonnaise of Mexican food”

“Horseradish is just basically Jewish wasabi”

Big Apple Mall (Bonifacio Global City, Taguig, Metro Manila, Philippines, 2018-present)

“Dragon fruit is just albino kiwi”

Challapeño or Challahpeño (challah + jalapeño)

Challahpeño or Challapeño (challah + jalapeño)

Big Apple (sculpture in Medina, New York, 2000-present)

“Horseradish is just redneck wasabi”

“Dragon fruit is just boneless kiwi”

Big Apple (tourist information booth, Meaford, Ontario, Canada, 1974-present)

“What do you call a spicy Jewish bread?"/"Challapeno.”

WTF (Welcome To Florida)

“Fig Newtons are just short Nutri-Grain bars”

“Seasoned salt is salt with some experience”

“Asked for a medium roast at Starbucks and the barista made fun of me instead”

“Nutri-Grain bars are just long Fig Newtons”

“Fig Newtons are essentially bite-size Nutri-Grain bars”

Japanese Horseradish (wasabi)

“Ranch is just boneless bleu cheese”

“Ranch is just boneless blue cheese”

“Nutri-Grain bars are just longer Fig Newtons”

“Getting offended by something on the internet is like choosing to step in dog shit”

“Getting offended by something on the internet is like choosing to step in dog poop”

“Cake is just dessert lasagna”

“Getting offended by something on the internet is like choosing to step in dog crap”

“I just received a ‘Save the Date’ card. I didn’t even know they were an endangered fruit”

“Tiramisu is just dessert lasagna”

“Baklava is just dessert lasagna”

“What do you call a spice with some experience?"/"Seasoned salt.”

“Save The Date. And any other endangered fruit”

“Dance like no one is watching, but text, post and email like it will be read in court one day”

“I come from mixed race parents. My dad was a hurdler and my mom a sprinter”

“Liquor stores should have rewards programs”

“Liquor stores gotta start a rewards program, I know I’m due for a free pint”

“McDonald’s is making a deep fried pickle covered in batter. They are calling it Mc Dill Dough”

Big Red Apple (sculpture in Cornelia, Georgia, 1926-present)

“I wish the liquor store had a rewards program”

“The decline of civilization started when they stopped putting toys in boxes of cereal”

“The decline of civilization can be traced back to when they stopped putting toys in cereal boxes”

“Sometimes getting unfriended on Facebook is magical…really…it’s like the trash took itself out”

Big Apple (sculpture at Yamanashi Prefectural Museum, Japan, 2008-present)

“A mask is not a political statement. It’s an IQ test”

“Covid-19. It started as a virus and has mutated into an IQ test”

“Three weeks now, I’ve been practicing resistance training. I’m avoiding anything to do with sports”

“They have plant based burgers, but not a meat based salad”

“What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?"/"Donuts.”

“You found out the world doesn’t revolve around you. Let me pour you a tall glass of get over it”

“Let me pour you a tall glass of get over it. Oh, and here’s a straw so you can suck it up”

“Wearing a mask isn’t a political statement. It’s an IQ test”

“What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over?"/"Doughnuts.”

“The problem with sex in the movies is that the popcorn usually spills”

“If you want to keep dangerous weapons out of the hands of the mentally ill, don’t elect them”

“I wish my bank account refilled as fast as my laundry basket”

Polterheist (poltergeist + heist)

“What do you call it when a ghost robs a bank?"/"A polterheist.”

“Vaxxed, waxed and ready to relax”

“Vaxxed, waxed and ready to party”

“How do ghosts obtain money?"/"Via a polterheist.”

“Vaxxed, waxed and ready to climax”

“Chocolate milk is just cold hot chocolate”

“Vaxxed, waxed and ready for action”

“Pierogis are just Polish gyozas”

“Pierogies are just Polish gyoza”

“My city’s potholes will change your radio station and unlock your doors”

“Pierogies are just potato raviolis”

“Pierogies are just European gyoza”

“Texas potholes will change your radio station and unlock your doors”

“Pierogis are just mashed potato ravioli”

“I don’t like the fact that my chances of survival seem to be linked to the common sense of others”

“Gyozas are just Japanese pierogies”

“Potholes in Texas will change your radio station and lock your doors”

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