A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006. Now a Popeyes fast food restaurant on Google Maps.

Recent entries:
“Two rules for this heat: 1. Drink a lot of water, 2. Watch how you talk to me” (8/14)
“Cup one is so I can get stuff done. Cup two is so I will be nice to you. Cup three is all for me” (8/14)
“I have been staring at an orchard to tell the time. It’s an Apple Watch” (8/14)
“I took my wife to an orchard for her birthday. Apparently, it wasn’t the Apple Watch she wanted” (8/14)
“Fake laughing with customers is another skill” (8/14)
More new entries...

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“Jesus turns water into wine. I turn wine into vomit”

“You eat sausages your whole life, but you refuse vaccine because you don’t know what’s in it”

“So you’ve been eating hotdogs and McChickens all your life, but don’t want the vaccine because…”

“The first symptom of Covid is no common sense”

“Viruses mutate over time. Covid started as a pandemic, and now it’s become an IQ test”

“You eat hot dogs your entire life, but refuse a vaccine because you don’t know what’s in it”

“I went to Starbucks and asked for a medium roast. The barista said I had small ears”

“It’s not a pandemic. It’s an IQ test”

“You won’t take a vaccine because you don’t know what’s in it? Name ingredients in Pop Tarts”

“You eat chicken nuggets, but you refuse a vaccine because you don’t know what’s in it”

“United States of America: You mean Texas and its 49 bitches”

“Technically, you can go the rest of your life without eating or drinking”

“Just turned wine into vomit. Your move, Jesus”

“How does a kaiju find a home?"/"Through Godzillow.”

“You can literally go the rest of your life without eating”

“Why do they call them lifts in the UK & elevators in the US?"/"Because we’re raised differently.”

Jibjab (vaccine jab)

“There should be a Godzillow app where you can buy houses Godzilla has smashed for really cheap”

“America: Texas and 49 bitches”

“Where do monsters buy their houses?"/"On Godzillow.”

“The NWO is the virus”

“A man walks into a library and asks if there are any books on poor eyesight…” (bar joke)

“The NWO is the real virus”

“I wouldn’t say coffee solves all my problems, but it stops me from creating some new ones”

Come-Here-Naughty (Comirnaty vaccine nickname)

“The New World Order is the real virus”

“Coffee doesn’t solve all my problems, but it stops me from creating some new ones”

“If studying history always makes you feel proud and happy, you probably aren’t studying history”

“The New World Order is the virus”

Croffle (croissant + waffle)

“The freedoms you surrender today are the freedoms your grandchildren will never know existed”

“I love that ‘take out’ means food, dating, and murder”

“When in doubt, add more wine”

Great Resignation (workers leaving jobs during Covid-19 pandemic)

“There’s one rule in life and one rule in cooking; when in doubt, add some more wine”

“I’d like to buy a ham and cheese baguette with pickles."/"Sorry, we only take cash or card.”

Big Apple (sculpture by Romero Britto, LaGuardia Airport, 2006-present)

“When in doubt, drink more wine”

Big Apple (sculpture by Romero Britto, JFK Airport, 2011-present)

Big Apple (sculptures by Romero Britto, 2006 at LaGuardia Airport & 2011 at JFK Airport)

“A corndog is just a meat Twinkie”

“Sometimes I see people pour a glass of wine and only fill it halfway, and I’m like okay…”

“A corndog is just a meat lollipop”

“I always see adults pour a glass of wine and only fill it halfway, and I’m like okay…”

“Corn dogs are just meat lollipops”

World Demonic Forum (World Economic Forum or WEF nickname)

“Whenever I see other people pour a glass of wine and only fill it halfway, I’m like okay…”

“Corn dogs are just meat Twinkies”

“A corndog is just a meat popsicle”

“Corn dogs are just meat popsicles”

“My obsession with decimals. It’s in tenths!”

“Pistachios are just land mussels”

“Mussels are the pistachios of the ocean”

“Pistachios are vegan mussels”

“Pistachios are just tree mussels”

“Mussels are the pistachios of the sea”

World Evil Forum (World Economic Forum or WEF nickname)

“Pistachios are vegetarian mussels”

“I’ve been studying the metric system lately. It’s in tenths”

“2019: Avoid negative people. 2020: Avoid positive people. 2021: Avoid people”

“A truck full of guitar pedals crashed on I-5. Expect delays”

“How do you make a walnut laugh?"/"Crack it up!”

“Horseradish is just white people wasabi”

“Licorice is the beef jerky of candy”

“Licorice is just candy jerky”

“Nobody ever asks for an adult bok choy”

“Beef jerky is just meat licorice”

“What’s the best way to get walnuts and Brazil nuts to laugh?"/"Crack them up.”

“I paid my taxes, and all I got was this stupid oligarchy”

“Artichoke is the lobster of vegetables”

“Vegetarian chili is just bean curry”

“Quinoa is just hipster rice”

FuckFuckNo (DuckDuckGo nickname)

“Chili is just white people curry”

“Pistachios are the mussels of the nut world”

Oktobeerfest (Oktoberfest + beer)

Okto-Beer-Fest (Oktoberfest + beer)

“Artichoke is the vegetarian’s lobster”

OK-to-beer-fest (Oktoberfest)

“Quinoa is rice for hipsters”

Octo-Beer-Fest (Octoberfest + beer)

BS-19 (bullshit + COVID-19)

“Calamari are the onion rings of the sea”

Octobeerfest (Octoberfest + beer)

Cat Dog Cat Corporation (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention or CDC nickname)

“There are 13 minerals that are essential to human life, and all of them are found in wine”

“Onion rings are just vegetarian calamari”

“Manicotti are just Italian enchiladas”

“Enchiladas are just Mexican manicotti”

“Cobbler is upside-down pie”

“I think people who use the wrong word should have the humidity to admit it”

“People who use the wrong words sometimes should have the humidity to admit it”

“There’s only one thing better than a glass of wine. Two glasses of wine”

“Chili is just Tex-Mex curry”

“Chili is just Texas curry”

“Chili is just Texan curry”

“There is only one thing better than a glass of wine. A bottle”

“Chili is just American curry”

“If a man has a lock on his phone, has it on silent and always places it face down…”

“Chili is just Mexican curry”

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