A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006. Now a Popeyes fast food restaurant on Google Maps.

Recent entries:
“Instead of ‘British Summer Time’ and ‘Greenwich Mean Time’ we should just call them ‘Oven Clock Correct Time’...” (3/28)
“Has anyone here ever drank a pint of tequila? I know it’s a long shot” (3/28)
“A pint of tequila? That’s a long shot” (3/28)
“The U.S. should add three more states. Because 53 is a prime number. Then they can truly be one nation, indivisible” (3/28)
“My love for the truth outweighs my fear of offending you” (3/28)
More new entries...

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“You don’t know poor until you’ve rinsed off a paper plate”

“You don’t know broke until you’ve rinsed off a paper plate”

“I told the waitress my steak was bad…” (joke)

“A programmer walks into a bar…” (bar joke)

“A software tester walks into a bar…” (bar joke)

“I met my wife on Tinder. That was awkward”

“Quarantine is a safe word for martial law”

“To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now”

“How do you know when a website is lying? It ends in dot gov”

“They don’t have to say it’s martial law if they call it a quarantine”

“Three programmers walk into a bar…” (bar joke)

“If I ever win the lottery, nobody around me will be poor. I will move to a rich neighborhood”

“The opposite of Dr Pepper is Patient Salt”

“If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Texas”

“Texans measure distance in hours, not miles”

“Corporations are not people. Money is not free speech”

“Facebook: Where idiots complain about other idiots being idiots”

“The system isn’t broken. It’s fixed”

“If bread goes bad, we throw it away, If bananas go bad, we make bread out of them”

“Money is not free speech. Corporations are not people”

“Why don’t Chinese kids believe in Santa?”/“Because they make the toys.”

“Food trucks should start parking outside of restaurants that require a vaccine pass”

Little Austin (Denton nickname)

“I’m just going to pour myself a bottle of wine and call it a day”

“Shit is fucked up and stuff”

Little D (Denton nickname)

“Food trucks should park outside every restaurant requiring vaccination cards”

“Why did the lady wear a helmet every time she ate?”/“She was on a crash diet.”

“Why are televisions attracted to people?”/“Because people turn them on.”

“...and then I was like, I’m just going to pour myself a bottle of wine and call it a day”

“It’s called Gross Pay because it’s disgusting to see how much money you would have made…”

“Beer shortage soon. Panic buy here”

“When the government starts passing laws that break other laws…”

“Beer shortage expected. Panic buy now”

“Beer shortages soon. Please panic buy”

“Coercion is not consent”

“Double chocolate cookies are brownies”

Federal Disinformation Agency (Food and Drug Administration or FDA nickname)

“My dentist said my teeth were stained and then asked me, ‘Do you smoke or drink coffee?’”

“High school bands go to football games, but football players don’t attend band concerts”

“Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall. It took me a moment to realize they meant ‘autumn’”

Coronavirus Disinformation Center (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention or CDC nickname)

“Why did the cat cross the road?”/“Because the chicken had a laser pointer.”

Center for Disinformation and Confusion (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention or CDC nickname)

“Coffee is my reward for waking up”

“Coffee is my reward for getting out of bed”

Covid Disinformation Center (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention or CDC nickname)

Federal Bureau of Insurrectionists (Federal Bureau of Investigation or FBI nickname)

“Coffee is my reward for sleeping”

“Computers were down at work. It took me 20 minutes to shuffle the cards to play solitaire”

“Coffee is my reward for being an adult”

“Coffee is my reward for being a grown up”

Corona Disinformation Center (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention or CDC nickname)

“Soup of the day implies another, possibly even seductive, soup of the night”

“Indian food has entered the chat”

“Soup of the Day implies that there is another dark and mysterious evening soup…Soup of the Night”

“Indian yogurt sauce has entered the chat”

Criminal Disinformation Center (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention or CDC nickname)

“Waiter, my soup is cold.”/ “It’s Gazpacho.”/ “Well, Gazpacho, my soup is cold.”

“Indian food has entered the chaat”

Soup of the Night (soupe de la nuit; soupe du soir; soup du soir)

“Think while it’s still legal”

“Cheese puffs are just boneless Cheetos”

“Please stand here until you realize your government is brainwashing you” (floor sticker)

“If you can’t change your mind, you’re not using it”

“Some of y’all are going to keep trusting the Government until your pronouns are ‘was/were’”

“If you can’t change your mind, then you’re not using it”

“Some of y’all are gonna keep trusting the Government until your pronouns are ‘was/were’”

“Please wait here until you realize your government is brainwashing you” (floor sticker)

“Lights. Camera. Fiction!”

International Circus of Clowns (International Criminal Court or ICC nickname)

“Cheetos are just stretched out cheese balls”

“We trust banks with our money, but they don’t trust us with their pens”

“Finalist is the first loser”

“Finalist is a way nicer word than loser”

“Finalist is another word for loser”

International Clown Court (International Criminal Court or ICC nickname)

“Cop: You’re going to prison for forgery. Me (slides him a 37 dollar bill): What about now?”

“Human rights: Know them, demand them, defend them”

International Circus Court (International Criminal Court or ICC nickname)

“Cheese balls are spherical Cheetos”

“Cheese balls are just round Cheetos”

“Cheetos are just elongated cheese balls”

“Ice cream is just a boneless popsicle”

“Otter Pops are just boneless popsicles”

“Freezies are just boneless popsicles”

“Freeze pops are just boneless popsicles”

“Me eating:  / My white shirt: Let me taste it.”

“Icees are just boneless popsicles”

“Ice pops are just boneless popsicles”

“A slurpee is just a boneless popsicle”

“Slushies are just boneless popsicles”

“Snow cones are just boneless popsicles”

“Every parking needs a parqueen”

“Why do they call it parking and not parqueen?”

“Parking assumes the existence of a parqueen”

“Is there ever a time when customer service is not experiencing ‘high call volume’?”

“You are not experiencing high call volume. You are experiencing low customer service staffing”

“Is there any company whose phone options haven’t changed?”

“Most Americans think the Federal Reserve is a national park”

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