A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006. Now a Popeyes fast food restaurant on Google Maps.

Recent entries:
“Instead of ‘British Summer Time’ and ‘Greenwich Mean Time’ we should just call them ‘Oven Clock Correct Time’...” (3/28)
“Has anyone here ever drank a pint of tequila? I know it’s a long shot” (3/28)
“A pint of tequila? That’s a long shot” (3/28)
“The U.S. should add three more states. Because 53 is a prime number. Then they can truly be one nation, indivisible” (3/28)
Entry in progress—BP4 (3/28)
More new entries...

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“Vaccinated people act like they died on the cross for our sins. Calm down Jabus Christ”

“November 1st: National Eat Your Kids’ Halloween Candy While They Are at School Day”

“Don’t meat your heros” (vegetarian/vegan saying)

“November 1st: Happy National Eat Your Kids’ Halloween Candy While They Are In School Day”

“Never meat your heroes” (vegetarian/vegan saying)

“I was robbed at the gas station today!” (high gas prices joke)

“Never meat your heros” (vegetarian/vegan saying)

“Is a serial killer on Halloween called a trigger treater?”

“Not trusting the government doesn’t make you a conspiracy theorist. It makes you a history buff”

“Don’t meat your heroes” (vegetarian/vegan saying)

“What’s a three-season bed?”/“One without a spring.”

“What was Jesus’ favorite sport?”/“Lacrosse.”

“If you eat candy corn, I’m just gonna assume you eat crayons and candles as well”

“You belong here/We belong here” (Barclays Center Plaza sign)

“What was Jesus’ least favorite sport?”/“Lacrosse.”

“Home is where the tap water doesn’t taste funny”

“What sport did Jesus play?”/“Lacrosse.”

The Clays (Barclays Center nickname)

“Paper is not money. It’s fraud”

“The one who gets vaccinated to be free is already enslaved”

“Home is where the tap water tastes good”

“You can understand history or you can trust the state. You can’t do both”

“Home is where the tap water tastes normal”

“You either understand history or you trust the government. You can’t do both”

“If you eat candy corn, I’m just gonna assume you eat crayons and bite candles”

“Home is where the tap water doesn’t taste like anything”

“Home is where the tap water is tasteless”

“You can either trust the government or you can understand history, but you can’t do both”

“Home is where the tap water doesn’t taste weird”

“The real pandemic is how stupid everyone is”

Control Oppress Victimize Isolate Divide (COVID backronym)

“If you want to find the culprits, follow the money. To find the truth, follow the censored”

“The mind of a slave asks ‘Is it legal?’ The mind of a free man asks ‘Is it right?’”

“Over-medicated and under-educated is exactly how they want us”

“I remember a time when people who got tested with no apparent symptoms were called hypochondriacs”

“Whiskey Wednesday. It’s like Taco Tuesday, but for badasses”

“Whiskey Wednesday. It’s like Taco Tuesday, but better”

“The real pandemic is stupidity”

“Only those who have something to hide will work relentlessly to censor those who speak the truth”

“Stupidity is the real pandemic”

“Coffee. Because sarcasm needs to stay hydrated”

“Dear Coca-Cola Company: No more new flavors. Either add the cocaine back, or leave it alone”

“Solar power is the future, but it won’t happen overnight”

“Solar power is the way forward, but it won’t happen overnight”

Anti-vaxxer (Antivaxxer)

“If the police were here to protect us, the entire government would be arrested”

“Coffee: Because crack is bad for you”

“If police are really here to protect us, the entire government would be in prison”

“I’d rather trust my neighbors with more freedom than trust my politicians with more power”

Anti-vaxer (Antivaxer)

“When I do good I feel good and when I do bad I feel bad, and that’s my religion”

“I like my women like I like my coffee. Sent back for not being hot enough”

“Strip malls are a whole lot more family friendly than they sound”

“A pizza with radius ‘z’ and thickness ‘a’ has a volume of Pi*z*z*a”

“There is no possibility of informed consent while adverse reactions are being censored”

“I like my women like I like my coffee. Irish”

“A pizza is technically a cylinder”

“Pizzas are cylinders, not circles”

“What did the chemist have for lunch? A Pb and J sandwich! And then he died of lead poisoning”

“Which branch of the United States military is the most patriotic?”/“The Air Force; they’re US AF.”

“My chemistry teacher offered me a Pb and J sandwich. Hospital bill is pretty high”

“The New York City Marathon is really just a bunch of people running away from Staten Island”

“The inventor of gravy granules has had the freedom of the city bisto-ed on him”

“My gran’s collection of antique gravy boats were Bistoed upon me”

“Strip malls sound way cooler than they are”

“My morning coffee contains all of my people skills”

“Whoever said ‘Less is more’ clearly wasn’t a whiskey drinker”

“Whoever said ‘Less is more’ clearly wasn’t a wine drinker”

“Whoever said ‘Less is more’ clearly wasn’t a coffee drinker”

“With capitalism, you work or starve. With communism, you work and starve”

“Nothing says ‘trust the science’ like ‘we can’t tell you what’s in it and you can’t sue us’”

“Be the reason someone stops believing in government”

“Hydro Flasks with straw lids are just adult sippy cups”

Howlapeño (howl + jalapeño)

“Capitalism: Work or starve. Communism: Work and starve”

“What is a werewolf’s favorite appetizer?”/“Howlapeño bites.”

“Build Back Better—brought to you by people who have never built anything”

“Hydroflasks are just sippy cups for adults”

“Be the reason someone stops believing in the government”

“What is a wolf’s favorite vegetable?”/“Howlapeño.”

“The most violent element in society is ignorance”

“The ones selling the panic are the same ones selling the vaccine”

“I have a drinking problem. I ran out of alcohol”

“I don’t have a drinking problem, ‘cept when I can’t get a drink”

“I have a drinking problem. I ran out of beer”

“I have a drinking problem. I ran out of vodka”

“Life Hack: Put booze in a cough syrup bottle, and you can do shots at work”

“Don’t forget to set your clocks from sunshine and happiness back to misery and despair”

“The same people who sell the panic, sell the vaccine”

“Not all storms come to disrupt your life. Some come to clear your path”

“I have a drinking problem. I ran out of wine”

“I have a drinking problem. I’m out of money”

“It seems I may have a drinking problem after all. I just ran out of wine”

“I have a drinking problem. I’m out of drinks”

“I went to the Air and Space Museum the other day. There was nothing there!”

“Wait, there’s nothing in this Air and Space Museum!”

“What’s a mythical gourd with an attitude?”/“A sass-squash.”

“What do you call a rude pumpkin?”/“Sass-squash.”

“What’s Bigfoot’s favorite Thanksgiving side?”/“Sas-squash.”

“What do you call a hairy pumpkin?”/“A Sas-squash.”

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