A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006. Now a Popeyes fast food restaurant on Google Maps.

Recent entries:
“Shoutout to ATM fees for making me buy my own money” (3/27)
“Thank you, ATM fees, for allowing me to buy my own money” (3/27)
“Anyone else boil the kettle twice? Just in case the boiling water has gone cold…” (3/27)
“Shout out to ATM fees for making me buy my own money” (3/27)
20-20-20 Rule (for eyes) (3/27)
More new entries...

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Great White South (Antarctica)

Melody Lane (West 28th Street, also called “Tin Pan Alley”)

Harmony Row (West 28th Street, also called “Tin Pan Alley”)

“Valentine’s Day plan: Breakfast in bed; Watch movie; Dinner for two; Regret eating two dinners”

“I went to a market that only sold jelly and custard. It was a trifle bazaar”

“‘Trust the Science’ is a euphemism for ‘Trust the System’”

Harmony Row (Park Avenue, between 58th and 59th Streets)

Tin Pan Alleyite

Tin Pan Alley (music publishing industry)

Harmony Row (West 28th Street)

“Viruses come and go. Loss of freedom is forever”

Melody Lane (West 28th Street)

Tin Pan Alleyite

“I used to do drugs in the 60s. Now I don’t care what the temperature is”

“I used to do drugs in the 70s. Now I don’t care what the temperature is”

“I used to do drugs in the 90s. Now I don’t care what the temperature is”

Harmony Row (Park Avenue location of German-American musical societies)

Tin Pan Alleyite

“I used to do drugs in the 80s. Now I don’t care what the temperature is”

“I used to do drugs in the sixties. Now I don’t care what the temperature is”

Filet Minyan (filet mignon + minyan)

Filet Minion (filet mignon + minion)

GoFraudMe (GoFundMe + fraud)

“What do you call a group of Jewish cows?”/“Filet Minyan.”

“What do you call steaks ordered by 10 Jews?”/“Filet minyan.”

Copaganda (cop + propaganda)

GoFMe or GoFuckMe or GoEffMe (GoFundMe + fuck)

“My family told me to get help for my drinking…so I hired a bartender”

“To survive in a nation of sheep, ruled by wolves, owned by pigs, you must become a lion”

GoFuckMe or GoEffMe or GoFMe (GoFundMe + fuck)

GoEffMe or GoFuckMe or GoFMe (GoFundMe + fuck)

GoFuckYourself (GoFundMe nickname)

“Nation of sheep, ruled by wolves, owned by pigs”

“A society of sheep must in time beget a government of wolves”

“A wine tasting is the only time it’s okay to ask a woman in public if she spits or swallows”

“I was out on a date with a girl, when I asked her, ‘Do you spit or swallow?’” (wine tasting joke)

“Do you spit or swallow?” (wine tasting joke)

“A nation of sheep”

“America: A nation of sheep, owned by pigs, ruled by wolves”

“Six S’s of wine tasting: See, Swirl, Sniff, Sip, Swish and Spit (or Swallow)”

“Whiskey is a brilliant invention. One double and you start feeling single again”

“Whisky is a brilliant invention. One double and you start feeling single again”

“Scotch is a brilliant invention. One double and you start feeling single again”

“Being on the wrong side of history as it repeats itself is like failing an open book test”

“Being on the wrong side of history while it’s repeating itself is like failing an open note test”

“Imagine being on the wrong side of history while it repeats itself. Like failing an open-book test”

“If you only knew how much money was spent to brainwash you, you would realize how special you are”

“Spicy food is like BDSM for your tongue”

“What do you call a fungi that loves to gossip?”/“A shit-talky mushroom.”

“Spicy food is BDSM for your mouth”

“What kind of mushroom loves to gossip?”/“A shit-talkey.”

“Anyone can use my French Revolution joke. It’s royalty free”

“I’ve open sourced my French Revolution joke. It’s royalty free”

“Spicy food is like BDSM for your taste buds”

“Guys who cook will do that thing you like… They’ll make you food”

“Men who cook will do that thing you like…”

“The system didn’t fail. The system worked. That’s the problem”

“WEF backwards is FEW”

“Before Pro Tools, there were pros”

“Welcome to 2030. I own nothing, have no privacy, and life has never been better”

“You shouldn’t need a medical exemption to opt out of something…”

“Lukewarm implies the existence of matthewwarm, markwarm and johnwarm”

“A salt truck implies the existence of a pepper truck”

“Just Dance implies the existence of Unjust Dance”

“Seven S’s of wine tasting: See, Swirl, Sniff, Sip, Savor, Swish and Spit (or Swallow)”

“Three S’s of wine tasting: Swirl, Sniff and Sip”

“Eight S’s of wine tasting: See, Swirl, Sniff, Sip, Slurp, Swish, Swallow (or Spit) and Savor”

“Four S’s of wine tasting: See, Sniff, Sip and Spit (or Swallow)”

“Condiments are makeup for food”

“Driving 5 mph over the speed limit doesn’t entitle you to left lane privileges”

“The moment we stop fighting for each other is the moment we lose our humanity”

“The moment we stop fighting for each other, that’s the moment that we lose our humanity”

“Bicycle implies the existence of gaycycle, straightcycle, pancycle and transcycle”

“Government: The brilliant idea that we should stop lunatics from lying, murdering, and stealing…”

“What do you call quesadillas that you eat in the morning?”/“Buenosdillas.”

“Five S’s of wine tasting: See, Swirl, Sniff, Sip and Spit (or Swallow)”

“Bicycles imply the existence of heterocycles and homocycles”

“If Korean Pop is Kpop and Chinese Rap is Crap, then French Art is Fart”

“I miss New York so much, sometimes I fill my humidifier with urine”

“The modern definition of ‘racist’ is someone who is winning an argument with a liberal”

“The moment we stop fighting for each other, that’s the moment we lose our humanity”

“Racist: An individual who wins an argument against a liberal”

“Racist: Anyone who wins an argument against a liberal”

“Racist: Someone who wins an argument against a liberal”

“Happy Thursday!!! You may now return to your regularly scheduled coffee”

“HAPPY TUESDAY!!! You may now return to your regularly scheduled coffee”

Fakechecker (fake + factchecker); Fake Checker

Fakecheck (fake + factcheck); Fake Check

5GFlu (5G + flu)

“I just got fired from a florist. Apparently I took too many leaves”

“I think it’s about time we start calling this ‘virus’ by its proper name: #5GFLU”

“Why do paper straws come in plastic wrappers?”

“Paper straws that come in a plastic wrapper are canceling itself out”

“Trans fat implies the existence of cis fat”

“Why did the economist stop selling herbs?”/“Because you can’t thyme the market.”

“Chefs make such terrible investors. They’re always trying to thyme the market”

“Why did Johnny Appleseed cross the road?”/“To get to the other cider!”

“Probiotics imply the existence of amateurbiotics”

“Probiotics imply the existence of casualbiotics”

“Probiotics imply the existence of conbiotics”

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