A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006. Now a Popeyes fast food restaurant on Google Maps.

Recent entries:
“Instead of ‘British Summer Time’ and ‘Greenwich Mean Time’ we should just call them ‘Oven Clock Correct Time’...” (3/28)
“Has anyone here ever drank a pint of tequila? I know it’s a long shot” (3/28)
“A pint of tequila? That’s a long shot” (3/28)
Entry in progress—BP5 (3/28)
Entry in progress—BP4 (3/28)
More new entries...

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“Ain’t no fuckin way that whole Siberian Orchestra is trans”

“The prophecy has been fulfilled” ($7.11 gas at 7-Eleven store)

“I passed a drug test recently, which is strange because I don’t remember eating one”

“Hotter than a jalapeño’s armpit” (very hot)

“Hotter than donut grease” (very hot)

“I recently passed a drug test, which is weird because I don’t recall eating one”

Queen (Drag Queen)

“Hotter than a Times Square Rolex” (very hot)

Pansy

“What’s the cheapest way to buy a boat?”/“Hull sale.”

“No politician can give you your liberty because it was never theirs to give in the first place”

“Hotter than a jalapeño’s armpit” (very hot)

“Crank up that A.C. till it’s blowing snowballs” (very hot)

“What do you call a melancholy robot?”/“A sigh-borg.”

“Hotter than a blister bug in a pepper patch” (very hot)

“Humid weather is like walking through soup”

“Gun control is like trying to reduce drunk driving by making it tougher for sober people…”

Smartaculous (smart + spectacular + fabulous/marvelous)

“Which vegetable do you stand in line for?”/“A queue cumber.”

Togetherment (suggested name for “apartment”)

“Apartments should be called togetherments”

Gay Boy (Gayboy)

“Sometimes I make words up to sound more smartaculous”

“There are 1,013,913 words in the English language, but I could never put any of them together…”

“There are approximately 1,010,300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough..”

“I’m a woman of many moods and they all require chocolate”

“Apartment complex implies the existence of a togetherment simple”

“How do you turn milk into cheese?”/“Put it in solid dairy confinement.”

“I’m a complex woman with many moods—and they all require coffee”

“Where do you put illegal cheese?”/“Solid dairy confinement.”

“Contaminated cheese is kept in solid dairy confinement”

“Coffee without donuts is like a week without a weekend”

“Coffee without a donut is like a week without a weekend”

“These 2 day weekends are starting to feel a lot like 30 minute lunches”

“Big Apple, 3 PM” (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Shredder’s Revenge video game, 2022)

“Big Apple, 3 PM” (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Shredder’s Revenge video game, 2022)

“These weekends are starting to feel like a 30 minute lunch break”

“These weekends are starting to feel like 30 min lunch breaks”

“Mondays suck so hard, they should work in porn”

“What kind of advice do you give to an architect?”/“Constructive criticism.”

“I’m a complex woman with many moods—and they all require chocolate”

“Cereal is like pet food for humans”

“Cereal is just pet food for people”

“Breakfast cereal is pet food for humans”

“How many ska bands does it take to screw in a lightbulb?” (Joke)

“How many ska musicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?” (joke)

“How many ska kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?” (joke)

“Breakfast cereal is just pet food for children”

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