A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006. Now a Popeyes fast food restaurant on Google Maps.

Recent entries:
Buffalo: “Buffalo. For Real” (slogan) (9/28)
Entry in progress—BP (9/28)
Firemelon (fire + melon; jocular formation after “watermelon") (9/28)
Airmelon (air + melon; jocular formation after “watermelon") (9/28)
Elemelons (elements + melons; watermelon, firemelon, earthmelon, airmelon) (9/28)
More new entries...

A  B  C  D  E  F  G  H  I  J  K  L  M  N  O  P  Q  R  S  T  U  V  W  X  Y  Z


Page 2 of 3 pages  <  1 2 3 >
“Anyone trying to disarm you is not your friend”

Pastronomy (pastrami + astronomy)

“Decaf? You mean broken coffee”

“Decaf is broken coffee”

Pastronomi (pastrami + astronomy)

“Who, What, When, Where…Wine!”

“Wine corks are for quitters”

Pastranomi (pastrami + astronomy)

Pastranomy (pastrami + astronomy)

“Pastranomy: the study of meats cured by moonlight”

“Corks are for quitters”

“I’m glad it’s not snowing. I would hate to shovel snow in this heat”

“I trust the government to lie about everything”

“What does gum and gun have in common?"/"Pull it out in class and everyone wants to be your friend”

“Why did the tomato blush?"/"Because it saw the salad dressing.”

“Why did the tomato turn red?"/"Because it saw the salad dressing.”

“Why was the tomato blushing?"/"Because he saw the salad dressing.”

“Pallbearers are the ultimate dead-lifters”

Procaffeination (Procaffeinate; Procaffeinating)

“Politics is simply theatre for the slave class”

“Batman doesn’t cover his whole face because he needs the police to know he’s white”

“Pallbearers are technically dead lifters”

“Do not make peace with evil. Destroy it”

“The six stages of evil: First we overlook evil. Then we permit evil. Then we legalize evil…”

“Salad dressing implies the existence of salad undressing”

“Why did the tomato blush?"/"Because it saw the salad undressing.”

“Coffee & Vitamin Sea are food for the soul”

“WARNING: Your government is imploding before your eyes…”

Salad Undressing

“First we overlook evil. Then we permit evil. Then we legalize evil. Then we promote evil…”

“What is sexier than salad dressing?"/"Salad undressing.”

“Eating is crazy. You put food in a cavity where you smash it with 32 bones…”

“Why did the chicken cross the tweet?"/"To get to the other snide.”

“Ham radio implies the existence of a cheese antenna”

“Ham radio implies the existence of turkey radio and roast beef radio”

“The Constitution was not established by cowards and cowards will not preserve it”

“It’s a piece of cake…marble cake…with real marbles”

“What is marble cake? Does it have real marbles?”

“So tomorrow is Monday again? I can’t keep living like this”

“The recipe for marble cake is not what you might first think it is…” (joke)

“Sorry for the inconvenience. We are trying to change the world”

“I hate when people are outside when I’m trying to parallel park. I need some privacy!”

“I’m going to need some privacy while I parallel park”

“What’s the loudest pet?"/"A trumpet.”

“The rich and powerful piss on us and the media tell us it’s raining”

“Chess players are pawn stars”

“The rich and powerful piss on us and the media tells us it’s raining”

“Nos mean y la prensa dice que llueve” ("They pee on us and the press says it’s raining")

“Hamburger comes from the German city of Hamburg. Cheeseburger comes from the city of Cheeseburg”

“Olive Garden waitress asks me to “say when” and begins to grate parmesan on my salad…”

“Why did the sarcastic chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other snide.”

“I’m not particularly bad at cooking, but how long is pasta supposed to stay in the toaster?”

“How do preachers make orange juice?"/"Pulpit.”

“Waitress says ‘Say when’ when grating my cheese. I never say when. The room fills with parmesan”

“This republic was not established by cowards; and cowards will not preserve it”

“How do pastors make orange juice?"/"They pulpit.”

“Some people wouldn’t know tyranny if it covered their faces, locked them in their homes…”

“Stop killing doves to make Dove soap” (fake protest sign)

“I’m not saying I’m a bad cook, but how long is pasta supposed to stay in the toaster?”

“Stop killing crocodiles to make Crocs” (fake protest sign)

“Gun Control: the theory that becoming a victim is somehow morally superior to defending yourself”

“Stop killing wild turkeys to make whiskey” (fake protest sign)

“Support the country you live in or live in the country you support”

“Gun control? Oh yes, the theory that becoming a victim is morally superior to defending yourself”

“Gun control is the belief that becoming a victim is morally superior to defending yourself”

“Growing your own food is like printing your own money”

“When life gives you lemons, make a whiskey sour. For God’s sake, we’re adults now, people”

“When life gives you lemons, make whiskey sours”

“While at the grocery store, be careful not to knock over the cabbage display. Heads will roll”

“If you don’t pile your cabbage correctly, heads will roll”

“The gas comin’ out of our cows ain’t near as dangerous as the BS out of our politicians”

“Never trust anyone whose TV is bigger than their bookshelf”

“Never argue with someone whose TV is bigger than their bookshelf”

“This ain’t no regular heat…this high class heat…bitch it’s hõte ás fuqùe”

“Hot as fuque” or “Hõte ás fuqùe” ("hot as fuck")

“A man walks into a bar… and stays there my entire childhood” (bar joke)

“We pay the doctor to make us better when we should really be paying the farmer to keep us healthy”

“The inventor of Pop Rocks: Sugar isn’t enough, it should also detonate”

“It’s not a recession unless it’s from the Recession region of France…” (joke)

“Remember that time when police stood with the people against tyrannical laws?”

“Technically, it’s not drinking alone if the bartender is there”

“The guy who stole all the chocolate is now a fudgitive”

“Fudgitive—One who eats sweets secretly, without sharing”

“You can’t spell ‘pharmaceutical’ without ‘harm‘“

“You can’t spell ‘pharma’ without ‘harm‘“

“You can’t spell ‘healthcare’ without THC”

“You can’t spell ‘pharmacy’ without ‘harm‘“

“You can’t spell ‘pharma” without the word ‘harm‘“

“A day may come when I get enough sleep and don’t need coffee. But it is not this day”

“If you breakdance you buy dance”

“If you breakdance, you boughtdance”

“I just witnessed a lady throw away the center of a cinnamon roll…”

“At this point, we’re just working for gas money to go to work”

Moron Virus or Morona Virus (moron + coronavirus)

Moronvirus or Moronavirus (moron + coronavirus)

Morona Virus or Moron Virus (moron + coronavirus)

Moronavirus or Moronvirus (moron + coronavirus)

“I mean, yeah, I could probably live without coffee, but…”

“Now serving liquid sanity and motivation topped with hope. It’s called coffee”

“A steak a day keeps the vegans away”

Page 2 of 3 pages  <  1 2 3 >