A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006. Now a Popeyes fast food restaurant on Google Maps.

Recent entries:
•“My friend lost his job as a journalist at a classic rock magazine through musical differences. He was always giving rave reviews” (4/25)
•“Please refrain from making music puns” (4/25)
•“Cleaning is better when no one else is home” (4/25)
•“Tbh cleaning is better when no one else is home” (4/25)
•Entry in progress—BP23 (4/25)
More new entries...

Entries in the category Buildings/Housing/Parks
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“Just opened my electric bill and my water bill at the same time and was completely shocked”
“Just seen a burglar kicking his own door in. He was working from home”
“Just text us when you’re here. There’s no need to knock and get the dogs involved”
“Just walked past a sign that read, ‘This fire door is alarmed’” (joke)
“Keeping tropical fish at home can have a calming effect because of the indoor fins”
“Kicking sand on the beach is wrong, in some people’s eyes”
“Kinda starting to understand why pets try to run out of the house when the front door opens”
“Kitchens and baths sell houses” (real estate adage)
“Landlord: Your income needs to be 3x rent. Me: Can you tell my boss that?”
“Landlords imply the existence of sealords and airlords”
“Landlords imply the existence of sealords and skylords”
“Last month, I cut my energy bill in half. Didn’t work, though. I still had to pay the full amount”
“Lawns don’t waste water, people do”
“Leaves are really just solar panels for trees”
“Leaves of five, let it thrive” or “Leaflets five, let it thrive” (vine adage)
“Leaves of three, let it be” or “Leaflets three, let it be” (poison ivy adage)
“Lego people live in homes made of their own flesh”
“Lego people live in houses made of their own flesh”
“Legos live in houses made of their own flesh”
“Like a good neighbor, stay over there”
“List to last” (real estate adage)
“Live a Little Better” (LeFrak City)
“Local apartment building had only one opening left. It’s last but not leased”
“Location! Location! Location!” (real estate adage)
“Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen”
“May our home know joy, each room hold laughter”
“May the roof above us never fall in, and may we friends beneath it never fall out”
“May your house always be too small to hold all your friends”
“Men are like floor tiles” (joke)
“Men build houses; women build homes”
“Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from your doorman—second notice”
“Millennials. Walking around like they rent the place”
“My bathroom light just went out. I wonder where it’s going”
“My bedroom light just went out. I have no idea where it’s going”
“My ceiling fan has 3 speeds…” (joke)
“My dad always said that it was rude to point. Great dad, terrible bricklayer”
“My fake plants died because I forgot to pretend to water them”
“My first time using an elevator was an uplifting experience, The second time let me down”
“My friend helped me move and dropped 20% of my couch on his foot. Ouch”
“My girlfriend asked why I carry a gun around the house? I told her it was the Decepticons…”
“My girlfriend said I wasn’t a true cockney, so I pushed her down the apples and oranges”
“My house gets cleaned a lot for a house that looks like it’s never been cleaned”
“My house sure gets cleaned a lot for a house that looks like it never gets cleaned”
“My house sure gets cleaned a lot for a house that looks like it’s never once been cleaned”
“My house was clean last week. Sorry you missed it”
“My house was clean yesterday. Sorry you missed it”
“My house was clean. Then the dogs woke up. The end”
“My house was clean. Then the kids woke up. The end”
“My housekeeping style can best be described as: ‘There appears to have been a struggle’”
“My houseplants probably wouldn’t die so fast if they could scream for food and water like my kids”
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